Wingnut Wrapup

 Two things too idiotic to even cover today:  The Republican war on baseball, and the synthetic furor over "vaccine passports."  Okay?  Then on we go.  And never forget how many Republicans are willing to believe, or claim to believe, anything, as long as it is a pile of bullying lies directed at their opponents.  From Daily Kos:

" A new poll shows that over half of Republican voters believe Republican false claims that the election was "stolen" from Trump, and almost that many falsely believe the attempted insurrection at the U.S. Capitol in January either was "peaceful" or that secret leftists staged it to make Dear Leader look bad."

No sucker like a Republican sucker. 

"Situation Update, April 5th, 2021 - Nazi-Style Covid Death Camps Coming to Every Democrat-Controlled City!"

Nazi style death camps.  You'd think that would make them very popular among Republicans.

"If Βiden Is Fully Ιn Control, Why Ιs Τrump Now Saying Ηe Will Do This? About Ιt & More! All Revealed!  If TRUMP wasn’t still in some kind of charge why else would he be going to check out the border former presidents don’t go check out a real president problem GOD SPEED."

This sick narcissist can't stop trying to bully his way into getting attention?  That's my guess

Dennis Prager, Town Hall:  "Mask-Wearing Represents Fear and Blind Obedience, Not Science"

"Blind obedience" to the scientific evidence, instead of doing whatever grandmaster liar Dennis Prager tells you to.

Stephen Moore, Town Hall:  "President Ronald Reagan used to refer to our country as "these United States," not "the United States.  That may seem to be an inconsequential grammatical difference, but a whole different philosophy of our system of government is embedded in that phraseology."

The name of our country is "The United States."  Biden was calling it by its name while Reagan was just engaging in the right wing demagoguing that has bred 40 million traitors in this country.  Besides, talk about a President too senile to know what he was saying.

"This brings us to President Joe Biden. No president in modern times, perhaps ever, has shown such contempt for our system of federalism."

What, not even the one I seem to remember inciting an attack on the greatest symbol of our democracy, the Capitol building, in order to overthrow the government of the United States?  Well, maybe that happened too long ago for right wingers to remember it.

Natural News:  "Situation Update, April 7th, 2021 - Alert: The CDC Will Release Biowarfare Pathogens in Texas and FL"

These people (example this time- the execrable Mike Adams, who has made himself very rich promoting fraudulent medical treatments, and who jumped on the "covid is a Democratic lie" bus a long time ago) want you to believe that the coming surges in sickness and death coming from Texas and Florida due to their Republican governments' refusal to do their duty, are actually a Democratic death plot.

Before it's News:  "Former Men In Black Agent Gives Wild Confession About Killing Bill Cooper, Demonic Aliens, DUMBs"

Men in Black was a movie, dumbass.

Jeffrey I. Barke, M.D.:  "How 'It's Covered by Insurance' Wrecks Health Care"

Yes, they are now arguing against any form of insurance.  Want to be treated because that truck ran into you?  Cough up the money in advance.  Of course, this only applies to you, not them.  I'm sure you understand the sage political reasoning behind that.

Newsmax:  "Trump: NY Times Wrong, Gaetz Never Asked for Pardon"

And who are you going to believe?  The New York Times or the biggest liar in the history of our country?  By the way, I would have rather had him pardon this pervert than the traitor Paul Manafort.  

And now the major Democratic scandal of the day:

Breitbart:  "White House Defends Kamala Harris Getting Cake in Chicago Despite Ongoing Border Crisis"

If she had eaten pie, all of the people at the border would have gone home.

Cassandra Fairbanks, Gateway Pundit:  "Alex Jones Physically Stops Vehicle After Witnessing Migrant Children Being Stuffed in the Luggage Compartment"

And if you believe that one, well...

Matt Shuhan, Talking Points Memo:  "Charity Helping Migrants Says Alex Jones Used ‘Staged Confrontation’ To Allege Trafficking...In a video clip that, according to Jones’ website, has been viewed more than 1.5 million times, the far-right host and other members of his crew are seen standing in front of an SUV carrying several children and their mothers, stopping the vehicle from moving while alleging that the children were being trafficked.  In reality, the video showed “a staged confrontation interrupting the goodwill of someone providing assistance in the form of transportation for three mothers and their children to the Humanitarian Respite Center,” said Sister Norma Pimentel, executive director of the Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley, in a statement to TPM."

I won't say that I told you so, because I am sure that you were capable of seeing this coming from a mile away.  Currently, viewership of the video is approaching 2 million.  How many do you think will ever see the truth?

Liberty Airwaves:  "D.C. in Turmoil as Biden’s Secret Police Go Rogue"

Biden's secret police.  Please, do tell us more:

"Joe Biden’s CIA is going rogue.  And he was hoping no one would find out about it.  But now D.C. is buzzing after a group of Republicans decided to push back.

A report from the Department of Homeland Security was declassified at the beginning of March. This report showed that the CIA and other intelligence agencies are directly involved with targeting people they believe to be “domestic terrorists”

Well, at least they are pretty much admitting that the domestic terrorists are on their side.  And it's sort of funny that targeting terrorists is now considered going rogue.

"Of course, Joe Biden and the media won’t talk about any of these developments."

The fact that they aren't happening isn't reason enough to ignore them.

"The Illuminati’s Secret Celebrity Murder and Cloning Centers, Explained (Must see video)"

The illuminati.  Nothing in wingnut world ever goes away, except the truth.

"Vaccine Zombies! mRNA Vaccines May Cause Prions to Eat Your Brain! - Mike Adams Must Video"

Mike Adams again.  What an asshole.  Here's a little more of Mike's reasoning:

"Since no benign reason is apparent, the use of vaccine passports could issue in a totalitarianism unlike the world has ever seen. Recalling the evil of Stalin, Mao, and Hitler, “mass depopulation” remains a logical outcome."

"No benign reason..."  Allowing people to get back to a relatively normal life without a few million more deaths is apparently deeply evil.

Larry Elder, Town Hall:  "Had Obama Not Played the Race Card, George Floyd Might Be Alive"

I blame Obama!  It never gets old.  I guess this is sort of like the story of the guy who goes way back in time and accidentally kills a butterfly, and then returns to the present to discover that the Nazis won World War II.  You just can't be too careful.  The damage that Presidenting while Black might do can be extensive.

John Kass, Town Hall:  "Biden Will Go Down as the President Who Poisoned Baseball"

Well, at least he didn't poison apple pie and mom.

Wayne Allyn Root, Town Hall:  "We have a madman in the White House.  President Joe Biden is either insane; or he doesn't care about the lives of Americans like you and me and our precious children; or he's a puppet for the forces of evil, intent on destroying this great country.

All hell is about to break loose. The next 9/11 could be weeks or days or minutes away. All because we have a madman in the White House...Terrorists are here. Along with murderers, rapists, MS-13 gang-bangers, drug dealers, sex traffickers and pedophiles.

Anyone can see what's coming. Another 9/11 is on the way. Or a massacre at a college, church or synagogue. Or a dirty bomb that makes a major U.S. city uninhabitable for decades.  America is on the brink. One man is to blame. Biden let them in. Biden did this to us. Biden opened the door to the destruction of America."

Nothing like arguing with a reasonable opponent honestly trying to find the truth, is there?

Matt Vespa, Town Hall:  "Confirmed: The Laptop Belongs to Hunter Biden...And the Liberal Media Can Eat a Ton of Crow"

Based on a claim printed in the Daily Mail, a British tabloid with a worse history of lying than the right wing outlets in the United States.  Of course, other than the claim, no evidence of any kind is provided by Matt that the laptop is Hunter's, or even that it exists.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "“A Demented Pervert – Who Can’t Tie His Own Shoelaces or Know Where He Is” – Sidney Powell Goes Off on Imposter President Joe Biden"

Sidney Powell.  January's lunatic of the month.  Whatever.  

Mike Adams, the Health Ranger:  "Situation Update, April 14th, 2021 - Vaccine Death Wave Now Unstoppable! 122 Million Americans Join Fatal Medical Experiment!"

From perhaps the biggest medical con man in the country, Mike Adams.  Really, he is murdering people to make money, and should be in prison for the rest of his life like any serial killer.

And now it's time for our weekly dose of Jew-baiting:

"Nancy Messonnier(née Rosenstein) (Jew) is an American physician who serves as the director of the National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseasesat the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Sister of Rod Rosenstein, former Attorney General and daughter of Heinrich Himmler.

Jacob Rothschild (Jew), George Soros (Jew), David Rockefeller (Jew) Adolf Hitler (Jew), FDR (Jew), Dwight Eisenhower (Jew), LBJ (Jew), Winston Churchill (Jew), Joseph Stalin (Jew), Bill Gates (Jew), Tony Fauci (Jew), Henry Kissinger (Jew), Vladimir Putin (Jew), Angela Merkel (Jew), Klaus Schwab (Jew) Donald Trump (Jew), Recep Erdogan (Jew), Xi Jinping (Jew), Barack Obama (Jew), George Bush and George W (Jew) Bill and Hillary Clinton (Jews) Nancy Pelosi (Jew) Kamala Harris (Jew) and Joe Biden (Rephaim [child of a fallen angel and a human] and is a Jew and a  Zionist).  The main antiChrist Antonio Guterres is a Jew as well as False Prophet Francis (Jew). Boris Johnson (Jew), Emanuel Macron (Jew) and John Kerry (Jew).

The Babylonian Talmud commands all Jews to kill all non Jews so do not trust their Jewish Covid 19 vaccines and do not trust a Jewish doctor to save you or your Jewish controlled government that wants you dead!"

In case you have heard this claim about the Talmud before- it is a complete lie.  I don't think it is necessary to comment on the list of "Jews" above, except to note that at least it didn't include Abraham Lincoln, who one wingnut claims was a Jew actually named Springsteen.  I kid you not.

"Mao Tse-Tung: An Alumni Of Yale University's "Order Of Skull & Bones."

Believe that one, do you?  I'm just surprised that he wasn't on the list of Jews.

Dr. Turi, Before It's News:  "Justin Bieber – Reptilius Universal Psychical Infestation - Are you next?  Bieber is part of the Plutonic “Death Wish Generation” and those passionate souls are dangerous to others and themselves since they are highly suicidal!  They are a magnet to fulfill the reptilius agenda, but how many of you are curious enough to read my book “The Power of the Dragon?”  to find out how the Dragon is blessing or cursing your destiny."

Justin Bieber- man that is a slam against liberals.  Don't forget to buy Dr. Turi's book about how Justin Bieber is a tool of evil aliens.

Brad Slager, Town Hall:  "Corporations Join the Election Law Debate and America Opposes them by Voting With Their Wallets"

Will it surprise you to know that Brad does not cite a single statistic indicating that any of these companies have lost a penny due to supporting a position held by the vast majority of their customers?  Of course it is the Republican way to try to destroy anyone who stands in the way of their greed and lust for power, so presumably the companies will experience some minor loss of business, but hardly enough to compare to what would happen if the Republicans get their chance to cause the next depression.

And now a new example of a developing Republican art form- extended fantasies about how they are going to make their opponents pay for standing in the way of their hero and his fascist agenda:  

Real Raw News:  "The man who calls himself President of the United States, Joseph R. Biden, was denied entry to the Pentagon on Friday, Real Raw News has learned.  Shortly after holding a meeting with Democratic lawmakers to discuss ways of imposing more restrictive gun-control legislation, Biden went to Arlington, VA to discuss with Pentagon officials his planned withdrawal of all U.S. Armed Forces from Afghanistan. He had also sought to convince military leaders that Iran’s decision to enrich weapons-grade plutonium to 60% did not threaten U.S. interests, said an administration source speaking under condition of anonymity.

But Biden never made it inside.

Our source said U.S. Pentagon Police, part of the Pentagon Force Protection Agency, stopped Biden and his Secret Service detail in their tracks, informing them that they had received standing orders to prevent any member of the Biden administration from stepping inside the building. Those orders reportedly included the use of deadly force.

Biden, our source added, became belligerent, saying as the President of the United States he had unrestricted access to all federal properties, including the Pentagon. He then instructed his three-man SS detail to “resolve the issue.”

A. Can you imagine Joe Biden becoming belligerent? That was the specialty of their President.  and B. Is it really an act of belligerence to suggest that the President can enter the Pentagon?  Finally, C.  Note that now that a Democrat is in the White House, the Secret Service has  morphed into the SS.

"Pentagon police drew sidearms, our source said.  It is possible that (Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Mark) Milley was overthrown, and Marine Corps Gen. David Berger has assumed command of the Joint Chiefs of Staff."

It's possible that Frodo really did throw the ring into the crack of doom, too, I guess.

a tidbit from Wikipedia:

"After the 1986 reorganization of the Armed Forces undertaken by the Goldwater–Nichols Act, the Joint Chiefs of Staff does not possess operational authority over troops or other units. Responsibility for conducting military operations goes from the president to the secretary of defense directly to the commanders of the unified combatant commands and thus bypasses the Joint Chiefs of Staff completely."

So if this did happen it is a coup and an act of treason.  Luckily, only a brain-dead idiot would believe any of this.  Along these lines, I will shortly post a "liveblog" of the last day of Hillary's trial for treason that took place this week at Guantanamo.  That will prove amusing.

Before it's News:  "CDMedia spoke the other day with former CEO Patrick Byrne who stated that he believes the world will know within the next two months whether or not Donald Trump is returning to the White House to oust Joe Biden."

All of us sane people already know the answer to that one, but go on milking your ignorant suckers for more cash by promising them the second coming of their God-king.

 “We have irrefutable proof,” Byrne says. “It is shocking what happened and who was involved. The information will all come out over the next few weeks. No one will be able to say this is not true.”

The information has been "coming out over the next few weeks" since November, idiot.

"Back in February, Byrne published a book outlining the “irrefutable proof” of which he speaks.  Byrne is selling the book for $4.99"

Pay for the truth, suckers.

"another commenter wrote that if it can be proven that foreign interference resulted in Hunter’s dad stealing the election, then “his election can be overturned and everything he signed is null and void.”

With the treasury department announcement this week of clear Russian collusion in Trump's election, I wonder if that applies to him too?  As usual, just accusing their opponents of their own crimes, to muddy the water- something Republicans have raised to a fine art.

Before it's News:  "WARNING: Man Proves That Covid-19 Tests Are Cancerous!"

People who publish things like this should be imprisoned for complicity in mass murder.

And with that, we come to the end of our latest stroll through the byways of voluntary insanity in our country.  See you soon.


Mostly.A.Cynic said…
Well Mr. Eagle if I read the Wingnut Wrapup in "The Onion" I would be having a big hardy laugh. (Are you sure this isn't from The Onion) The fact that this isn't from The Onion makes me want grab a bottle of Tequila and a bottle of Rolaids
Green Eagle said…
Fuck the rolaids. Save the money for more tequila.
Poll P. said…
The best part of this whole post, imho, is that trucker's mudflap nude silhouette with a horn!

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