Monday, October 10, 2016

Wingnut Wrapup

Boy, they are pouring their hearts out today.  Before I dive in, here's a little game you can play:  the five stages of grief are said to be:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  Try seeing which stage each of the following falls into:

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "Catastrophe: Clinton 46, Trump 35"

Catastrophe!  The country is not likely to be turned into a Fascist dictatorship any time soon!  That is truly depressing news.

Kurt Schlichter, Town Hall:  "With Clinton We Will Be Under Occupation In Our Own Country"

At least we will still have a country, and not the Third Reich West.

"So here we are. Let’s face it – the combined force of the Washington elite, the brown-nose media, Hollywood, and an eager group of fascisty inclined liberals allying with deadbeats and welfare cheats will likely defeat the normals for the presidency next month."

"Normals."  Apparently the new word for Nazis.

"We’re their enemies.  Not fellow citizens who disagree. Enemies, to be punished and oppressed. Just ask them – aren’t shy about admitting it. They’re proud of it."

Of course, Trump would never think of punishing his political enemies, oh no.

Todd Starnes, Town Hall:  "It Wasn’t a Town Hall Meeting, It Was a Town Hall Ambush"

What, when Trump brought three paid liars to attack Bill Clinton?  Oh no, that's not what Todd meant:

"CNN’s Anderson Cooper and ABC’s Martha Raddatz, disgraced themselves and their networks by ganging up on Donald Trump."

They will be disgracing the country if they don't.

Arthur Schaper, Town Hall:  "Because of all Those Crude Words and Lewd Acts, I'm Voting for Trump!"

Because getting caught doing something utterly shameful only makes his base like him more.  These really are sick people.  It's just scary how many of them there are.

Wayne Allan Root, Town Hall:  "Liberals are Premature Prognosticators"

Because TRUMP IS GOING TO WIN BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME!  Note, by the way, that this Trump supporter could not resist a prurient reference when it occurred to him.  Thank heaven we don't have to listen to what he has to say in the locker room.

"Anyone who counted Donald Trump out, simply doesn’t know Trump. Sunday night they got a lesson. To put it simply, Trump owned the debate. He was in command. He was in rare form. He crushed it."

Right, Wayne.  Just keep telling yourself that.

Brandon Morse, Red State:  "A Dirty But Brilliant Move: The Trump Campaign Paid for Bill Clinton’s Accusers to Attend Debate"

Dirty but brilliant!  As long as it's "brilliant," it's okay to be dirty.  For Republicans anyway.  On the other hand, it doesn't seem to have worked, so it turned out to be just dirty.  go figure.

Debra Heine, PJ Media:  "WikiLeaks: Bill and Chelsea Clinton's 'Office Crap' Almost Drove Clinton Foundation Official to Suicide"

What the "office crap" was is not made clear in the article, but it apparently made this woman want to drive her car into the river.  Maybe she just needs a less stressful job.  I hear there are positions available as a Wal-Mart greeter.

Walter Hudson, PJ Media:  "Trump Implosion Paves Way for Renewed Republican Party"

Yeah.  Romney's implosion paved the way for a renewed Republican party.  So did McCain's.  And God knows, the implosion of the entire country under Bush and Cheney did that in spades.  Didn't happen, and it won't this time either, because Republicans like being greed-maddened racist bullies.

Spengler, Red State:  "Trump Will Win the National Battle for Legitimacy"

Keep telling yourself that, Spengler.  Is it impolite to point out that this guy has apparently taken his pen name from one Oswald Spengler, whose book "The Decline of the West" was a major influence on the Nazis?  There's your true Trump supporter, yes sir!

Kristinn Taylor, Gateway Pundit:  "Report: After Rough Debate With Donald Trump Hillary Went Straight to the Booze"

I don't blame her.  I'd have started swigging from my Lagavulin bottle about a third of the way through the debate, and if anyone objected, I would have told them that it's what real men do.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Laura Ingraham: We’ve Been Waiting for a Republican to Beat Up On the Clintons for 30 Years"

Until last night, they never had a bad word to say about them, and always treated them with infinite respect.

Sher Zieve, Renew America:  "Media: Trump's locker room talk more important than Hillary's crimes against humanity"

Apparently.  Tough for you, Sher, as concerned with decency as you have always been.

Michael Gaynor, Renew America:  "It's time for Trump movement voters to send John McCain and Kelly Ayotte a message"

How about "thank you for doing your little bit to save us from a would-be dictator."

World Net Daily:  "NEWT: GOP BEDWETTERS NOW HAVE 'EGG ON FACE'...Predicts Trump victory 'despite everything the media has done in a totally 1-sided way'

You go there, Newt.  Bedwetters.  Great way to raise the tone of discourse.  While at the same time living in a total fog of self delusion.

And now, a great description of Hillary's performance last night:

Andrew Solomon, American Thinker:  "she was throwing down soliloquies last night with so much grease on them you could almost smell her salami breath if you were watching at home.  Smooth.  Like an oiled, even-toed ungulate, let loose at a county fair, squealing between the legs of boys, she secreted herself into false arguments with ease.  She lubricated the entire stage, moving underneath the legs of one Strawman and past another non sequitur like Penzoil between pistons."

Man, Andrew, you are wasting your talent.  You should be writing Sillhouette romances for macho males.

"Meanwhile, the anti-politician, the outsider stood adjacent...The non-liar, the crude one, the man who speaks what he feels without any separating coffee filter so that his mouth is full of bitter, sometimes foul tasting grains in them.

America doesn't do bitter truths.  America has changed.  We don't like our truths spoken to us plainly."

America doesn't do bitter truths.  Hmm.  Well, at least the Republican half of America does do bitter lies.

Patricia McCarthy, American Thinker:  "Oops! Hillary Forgets the Constitution...Hillary did not mention the Constitution"

Off with her head.  Perhaps she should have mentioned that the Constitution does not allow a President to throw his opponents in prison.

And here's a real masterpiece of willful self-delusion:

E. Jeffrey Ludwig, American Thinker:  "The ‘P***y’ and ‘F**k’ Candidate Turned the Tide in Debate Two...The Donald has risen above the fray, above the name calling, above the intensity of their encounter, above the negatives."

Boy, that's the debate I saw- how about you?

Carol Brown, American Thinker:  "MSNBC commentator Joy Reid should have her head examined"

Not the inside of it, I'm guessing, the outside of it.  If you get my drift.

Tiffany Kogler, American Thinker:  "We are not asking Trump to join our knitting circle."

Well, unless you and you knitting buddies are all 10s, he's not showing up anyway.

Breitbart EXCLUSIVE:  "Willey, Jones, Broaddrick: If Hillary Wins, Call Bill the ‘First Rapist’...Breitbart Releases More Footage of Clinton Accusers:"

Whatever.  Right wingers have been paying these women for two decades to spill out their smears.  Why should they stop now, when the checkbook is still open?

And here's a weird one:

Mary Claire Kendall, Daily Caller:  "America Likes Her Heroes Humble"

This is actually an article supporting Trump.  Humble.  Just the word I would have used to describe him.  Hmm.

Well, this sort of thing goes on and on, but this is a pretty fair sample for now.

1 comment:

Magpie said...

"Trump would never think of punishing his political enemies, oh no"

Nor is he going to get the chance.

When the dark money comes after him for the damage done to their lackeys in Congress, however, he might find out what punishment means.