Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Wingnut Wrapup

I've been really busy at work, which has cut down on my ignorant carping here at Green Eagle, but there's always time for the wingnuts, right?  Here's a load of their "wisdom" for the day:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Predictable. Pelosi Responds to Ryan Plan With Her Usual Poison"

And what is that poison?  According to Jim, it's this twitter:

"The GOP Ryan budget is a path to poverty for America's seniors & children and a road to riches for big oil"

Thus, we get another lesson in something we know all too well:  To the Republicans, truth is poison.

Bryan Fisher, Renew America:  "Hey Libs: listen to yourselves: beheadings are your fault"

Believe me, you don't want to know the idiotic logic that led Bryan to claim that.  Well, here's a sample:

"conservatives blame, you know, actual perpetrators for their crimes, meaning we don't blame Pastor Jones"

But, of course, a few sentences above, he did blame liberals, who were not the "actual perpetrators" of these murders either, and in fact had no connection with them in any way.  You just can't win.

Warner Todd Huston, Renew America:  "factually it is an outrage to say that King gave his life defending unions."

Even though he was shot while leading union protests.  Other than that, it's an outrage.  This is particularly painful to right wingers like Warner, who are so dedicated to preserving the legacy of Martin Luther King.  On the other hand, maybe he was talking about Don King.

Joseph Farah, World Net Daily:  "Why are Republicans afraid of shutdown?"

Remember what happened last time Republicans tried this infantile trick, Joseph?  No? Oh, well, then...

Matt C. Abbott, Renew America:  "Catholic parish warns against using social network sites"

Yeah, kids might meet a priest on there.

Politico:  "Tea partiers warn GOP on dealmaking"

Yeah, or they'll come marching on the capitol- all six dozen of them.

Chris Field, Town Hall:  "Mary Katharine Ham: The Swift Death of the New Tone"

Listen, Mary, here's my advice:  Try a Tube Screamer.  Get one of the expensive ones with the germanium transistors.  That should solve your tone problem.  It worked for Stevie Ray Vaughan.

Note: If this doesn't make any sense to you, please move on to the next comment.

David Limbaugh:  "Do you believe Rep. Paul Ryan when he says we only have a few years left to get our fiscal house in order, or we're going to face European-type austerity?"

European-type austerity:  Do you mean higher pay, shorter work weeks, longer vacations, guaranteed medical care, longer life span, lower infant death rates, less crime, more upward mobility, a better division of wealth?  You mean austerity like that, David?  Because that's what they have in Europe.  Of course, you wouldn't know about that, since you do very well sponging off your brother's reputation and don't have to worry about people who have to work for a living.

World Net Daily Exclusive:  "American states to Obama administration: Drop dead! "

Almost right there, guys.  I think that should read:  American Republicans to American people: Drop Dead!"

World Net Daily:  "Prepare for 'The Return of the Great Depression'

You must be so proud.  You worked so hard to make it happen.

World Net Daily:  "A federal magistrate in Washington, D.C., yesterday asked an attorney who claims Iraqi agents were involved in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing to provide her with documentation to prove his contention, reports the Oklahoman."

Boy, she's going to be waiting a long time for that.

Red State:  "We saw it coming, didn’t we?  “It’s not that I want to punish your success,” Obama explained. “I just want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they’ve got a chance for success too."

The cad!  He wants everyone to have a chance.  And we know who he's talking about, don't we?

Kevin Glass, Town Hall:  "Paul Ryan's "Path to Prosperity" Stakes GOP Claim to Fiscal Responsibility"

Well, if you mean the way those people in vampire movies stake Dracula, then I guess I can sort of agree with you.

Arlen Williams, Renew America:  "Yesterday, Glenn Beck revealed to whomever has eyes to see, that the "We are One" rallies and the "Fight Back Teach-In" are smoking gun evidence of nationwide and worldwide, Marxofascist insurrection."

Sure, sure.  Are you positive you've been taking your medication, Arlen?  It really does help.

Enough!  Don't worry- I'll have more real soon.


Poll P. said...

Thanks for the Tube Screamer advice. Certainly does raise the tone -- or at least the volume -- of the debate.

Green Eagle said...

And the distortion. That should prove useful to any Republican.

Poll P. said...

Distortion is famous for masking lack of substance and/or skill.