Wingnut Wrapup- Schadenfreude Edition

 I've been pretty silent during the last couple of weeks, because a million people are now saying what I have always said, but I guess it's time to get to work again.  Here is a sample of the early responses of the people who are mortally shocked to discover that Jesus did not make sure that Donald Trump won.

Cliff Kincaid, Renew America:  "Trump wins re-election"

That will come as a surprise to many people.  Cliff explains:

"Transcripts or stories about the president’s remarks tried to put a spin on them, saying his statement of victory was “premature” or even “false.” That’s their opinion. What matters is what the legitimate president of the United State says.   Trump has already declared victory and has recognized mysterious ballot dumps and irregularities giving certain states to Biden as illegitimate.  At the current time, this is really all that we need to know.  When push comes to shove, Trump can tell those who want him out of office to shove it."

So that's it.  Trump says he won, so he did.  There's a kind of country where that is how it works, but until recently, we didn't think we lived in one. 

"It’s time to win this one for the Founders."

Because, according to Cliff, the President staying in office because he wants to is exactly what the founding fathers had in mind.  Who knew?

Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall:  "Lindsey Graham Announces Huge Donation to Trump's Legal Defense Fund"

Well, good for you, Lindsey.  What a worthwhile use of your money.  Maybe you would like to sacrifice your first born child to Trump too.  Oh wait, Lindsey has never been married and has no children.  I wonder why that is.

**Note**  My wife was afraid that the above remark might be interpreted as an attack on gay people.  Let me say that I could not care less that Lindsey Graham is gay.  What does drive me crazy is that Graham, probably the most powerful gay man in America, is so dishonest that he has given his unshakeable support to a party and a President that have devoted themselves for years to savaging gay people, in order to advance his own interests, and that tens of millions of Republican voters are willing to ignore their own supposed hatred of gays, in order to vote for the party that enables their hatred of people who are not white.

Erin Coates, Western Journal:  "Rudy Giuliani 'en route' to Philadelphia with legal team, alleges 'massive cheating'

Rudy.  Isn't he still checking out the pictures of child rape on Hunter Biden's laptop?

Beth Baumann, Town Hall:  " Nevada USPS Worker Allegedly Offers Stacks of Ballots to Undercover Reporter"

Allegedly.  Alleged by who?  An "undercover reporter?"  Oh, that's believable.

Beth Baumann, Town Hall:  "USPS Carrier in PA Claims Higher-Ups Instructed Workers to Backdate Ballots"

Boy, Beth has a lot of crooked postal workers as friends.  She appparently never considered the fact that postal "higher-ups" are all Trump appointees at this point.

Larry O'Connor, Town Hall:  "We Don't Believe Them"

Them?

"Them" being not the giant ants in the fifties movie, but Democrats and the people who count the votes.  "I don't believe it so you didn't win."  That'll work.

Josh Hammer, Town Hall:  "The Election Battle Is Just Beginning"

Maybe you are right.  You will be screaming about this for the rest of your life, like every other Republican-invented scandal.

Harmeet Dhillon, Town Hall:  "Republican Lawyers Are Fighting to Stop The Steal"

Sure they are, Harmeet.

Beth Baumann, Town Hall:  "Battleground State GOP Sends Thousands of Voter Fraud Cases to the Department of Justice"

All phony, but whatever.

Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall:  "Having Experienced the 2000 Election Controversy, Joe Lieberman Offers His Advice to the Candidates"

Joe Lieberman.  Really, Biden should listen to Joe Lieberman.  That may be the most stupid remark of the entire 2020 campaign. 

Bonchie, Red State:  "The Party of Russia Hysteria Can Shut Up About 'Delegitimizing' Elections"

What about the party of Russian treason?  How do they feel about it?

Brandon Morse, Red State:  "Win Or Lose, Democrats Will Never Be Able to Wash Trump Off of America"

Probably true, but it's hard to understand how anyone would be happy about it.  Any halfway decent human being, anyway.

Alex Parker, Red State:  "Justice Department: Armed Federal Agents Can Be Sent to Investigate Ballot Counting Centers"

To "investigate" ballot centers.  Yeah, that has worked in the past.  I don't have to tell you where.

Jennifer Oliver O'Connell, Red State:  "California's Vote Fraud Tactics Have Gone National and We're Seeing it in This Presidential Election"

It's all California's fault.  Of course, there is absolutely no evidence of any organized voter fraud in California, but so what?

Sarah Lee, Red State:  "Trump Tweet Should Clear Up Any Confusion About Whether Or Not He Means To Fight"

Don't worry, Sarah, we already knew he intended to fight.  The only question is whether he will knock himself out with his first punch.

Victoria Taft, PJ Media:  "Trump Lawyer: Nevada Allowed Thousands of People Who Didn't Live There to Vote"

Trump lawyer.  A totally trustworthy source.

Tyler O'Neil, PJ Media:  "Exclusive: AZ Poll Workers Gave Voters a Sharpie to Vote and Then Threw Out Their Ballots, Lawsuit Claims"

Falsely, as it turns out, but to paraphrase Albert King, if it weren't for false lawsuits, they wouldn't have any lawsuits at all.

Joe Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER! President Trump JUST SMASHED Barack Obama’s All-Time Record for Most Votes in a Presidential Election!"

That's pretty funny, considering that Joe Biden got four million more votes than Trump did.  But Joe has a totally viable explanation for that:

"Joe Biden’s votes are in dispute so we are unable to determine how many legitimate votes Biden obtained in this years election."

Votes for Democrats don't count.

Jack Cashill, American Thinker:  "Milwaukee Officials Have Some Explaining to Do...The voting data coming out of Wisconsin are too weird to leave undisturbed."

"Weird" meaning Democrats won.

William Sullivan, American Thinker:  "Is Ballotgate the Single Greatest Crime in Modern American History?  If it is proven that Democratic Party operatives illegally introduced hundreds of thousands of illegitimate ballots in order to swing an election in their Party’s favor, it will have been the single most dangerous crime in modern American history."

Well, of course it will not be more dangerous than dozens of incidents of Donald Trump's treasonous collaboration with Vladimir Putin, but note the "if it's proven," which it has not been and never will be because it is just one more Republican lie.

C. Edmund Wright, American Thinker:  "Ironic, isn’t it? This could be Trump’s finest hour."

About time. He has had another worst hour every couple of days for the last four years.

"As befits the already awful year of Our Lord, 2020, the presidential election is going to come down to a nasty street fight of lawyers, public relations spin, and positioning involving four states... Donald Trump has won all four, and now he must successfully defend all four wins..."

He won all four.  He told us so.  End of story.

"Yet somehow, even with the Fauci mistake, you charged into yesterday with the incredible momentum of a winner. And you won, legitimately. Taking out the Marxist strongholds of California and New York, you won the popular vote in the other 48 state by millions."

Trump won in a unanimous vote, once all votes cast for Democrats are cancelled because they are Communist aggressions against the American people.

Norman Rogers, American Thinker:  "Time for do-over elections?"

As has so often happened in Presidential elections in this country.  How about if we have a do-over for the 2016 election?  Oh wait, we just did, and Trump lost.  Tough luck, loser.

"If the voters are systematically fed biased information, they cannot be expected to vote in their self-interest or the interest of the country.  The remedy that I propose is that the Supreme Court order do-over elections in jurisdictions where the Information Monopoly’s information suppression carried the day.  I think Biden will be massively defeated in such elections when there is time for the voters to be exposed to the blacked out information."

The Supreme Court should "order" a new Presidential election, preferably one in which no Democrats are allowed to run.  That would be totally legal.

John Binder, Breitbart:  "Lawsuit: At Least 21K Dead People on Pennsylvania Voter Rolls"

Republicans love bringing up this argument.  In many States, there is no systematic way to remove someone from the electoral rolls when they die.  The real question is whether any of them have clawed their way out of their graves in order to vote for Joe Biden.

Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer:  "Trump Gives Speech, Declares Ultimate Victory Over the Forces of Darkness"

He lost, buddy.  Deal with it.

Socrates, Vanguard News Network:  "Thousands of negroes named ShaWanda, KeeSheena and LaDerrick, having been told for the past 4 years that Donald Trump is a racist who will make their lives worse, are handling or counting ballots in Black/liberal cities all across America (they are postal or poll workers).  What could possibly go wrong with that scenario?"

What could possibly have gone wrong with this guy's brain?

Infowars:  "Chicoms On Verge Of Stealing US Election...The Overthrow Of The United States Is Officially Here"

Chicoms.  Right.

Infowars:  "BREAKING! Roger Stone: Trump Is Going To Win 270"

Roger Stone.  Talk about a trustworthy commentator.

And let's just go out with a little of the response to Trump's glorious victory from the QAnon world:

Before it's News:  "BREAKING: Intelligence expert Steve Pieczenik claims 2020 election was a “sophisticated sting operation” that has trapped the Democrats in the most massive criminal election fraud in history...intelligence expert Steve Pieczenik declared that the 2020 election was set up by Trump’s people as a “sophisticated sting operation” to trap the Democrats and the Biden crime family in irrefutable criminal fraud."

Ha ha, they have already adopted their QAnon claim to the election.  It was all planned that Trump would lose- it is just what he wanted.  Now comes the storm!  Remember when the whole Mueller investigation was a plan by Trump to bring the Democrats down?

"Disclaimer: We have not yet been able to independent verify the claims you see below. We are merely reporting on what Dr. Pieczenik is saying, as these claims are newsworthy and incredibly important. We are in the process of investigating further."

"We have not yet been able to independent verify"  i.e. even they can't say it with a straight face.

"Everything you’re seeing right now with the ballot fraud was completely expected by Trump’s people.  “Thousands and thousands of National Guard [troops]” have been sent to 12 states right now, to assist in securing the legitimate ballots and throwing out the fake ballots printed up by Democrats as part of their fraud operation.  This sting will expose the entire Biden family and get them all convicted and sent to prison."

Thousands and thousands of apparently invisible National Guard troops, apparently.

Before it's News:  "Trump Readies to Go Full Animal on the Democrats & Expose Their Corruption!"

Full animal would be a huge improvement for him.

Trump Update 11/04/2020... Rigged 2020 Election: Millions of Mail-in Ballots Will Be Printed by Foreign Countries and Others - It Will Be the Scandal of Our Times!"

What, bigger than Hunter Biden's laptop?

Before it's News:  "federal sting operation created all 2020 ballots with DHS watermarks to catch + prove election fraud to reveal and end DNC treason...If true, the next days will reveal the DNC inserted fake ballots all for Biden, with the source of these ballots is likely China, and with connections to DNC “leadership.” Of course, this is treason to illegally overthrow the US government."

Ballots are produced by the States, not a "federal sting operation."  But keep hallucinating, guys.

Before it's News:  "Red Alert: Dems Collude with CIA to Launch Intelligence Operation That Alters Voting Machine Results in Pennsylvania & Other Swing States!  ...after the closing of polls in Pennsylvania and other swing states, the voting machines will be intercepted and then altered using complex algorithms to alter the votes in a way that evades detection, handing a victory to the pre-designated “winner” (Joe Biden)."

They will be?  Any sign that that happened?  No?  But you still believe it, huh?

"Every Single Vote MUST BE AUDITED In Rust Belt!"

Every single vote...that would sure stop the counting until Republican legislatures can put Trump back in the White House.

Before it's News:  "Trump’s Loss Was Planned For: This Is Just The Opening Act"

This is about the thousand and tenth "opening act" of Trump's bringing down the deep state that we have seen.  But this time it's the real one, yeah!  Glad to see that all those idiotic discarded QAnon conspiracy theories are so adaptable to new circumstances.

Well, see you soon.  I hear that they were going to tell Trump today that he might lose the election.  That will be a fun event.  I hope they record it.