Finally, An Explanation for Why the Birth Certificate is So Important

There are times when single articles are so crammed full of idiocy, that they smash through the confines of Wingnut Wrapup, and demand to receive their own, individual dose of ridicule and contempt. Why, you may ask, do these heads-above-the-rest specimens of lunacy so often come from Renew America?

I don't know, but here is another skull-exploding wonder from them. I have to warn you that what follows is so sputteringly incoherent that it may cause deep dizziness and nausea:

"Why the birth certificate?
By Helen Valois"

Helen starts out with a bang, I must say:

"Referencing existing German law specifically excluding the commission of euthanasia, Bishop Clemens von Galen thus reminded his countrymen, during the summer of 1941, that the ignominious hospital-based murders being perpetrated by the Third Reich were, in fact, illegal...
Hitler and his brown-shirted cabal had appropriated the authority to determine what would and would not be allowed...."

Wonderful. We're on to the Nazi thing in the first sentence. It's going to be great to see how this relates to Obama's birth certificate, huh?

"As it became popular in Nazi Germany to believe, "It is not your job to determine if something is true, but if it is in the spirit of National Socialism." Isn't this how Sonia Sotomayor essentially understands her own job description?"

It is? I missed that one. Maybe we should have had more testimony from the firemen.

"Last week, Lou Dobbs called widespread attention to de facto President Obama's lingering lack of supporting documentation for something as basic as his very status as an American citizen. Why this wasn't done a long time ago (for example, before Obama's name was permitted to be printed on any presidential ballot whatsoever) remains a mystery. Like a mole that has lately altered in color and shape, it may not seem like much, but of what invisible internal processes is such "change" ominously symptomatic?"

"A mole that has lately altered in color and shape." feel yourself spinning off into the zodiac yet?
"Of what invisible internal processes is such "change" ominously symptomatic?" God, how can you even make fun of this? But this is what they "believe."


"During the administration of Bush 43....we saw the "non-birther," "pro-choice-about-the-equitable-application-of-the-law" mentality egregiously on worldwide display as Judge George Greer pitilessly put Terri Schindler-Schiavo to death by starvation and dehydration — a method most favored by Nazi executioners..."

Well, leaving out that they really favored mass shootings, and when that was insufficient, the gas chambers (who expects these people to really know anything about their subject,) no, I don't see the similarity. You see, unlike Terry Schiavo, the victims of the Nazis did not have brains that had turned to liquid.

"One cannot help thinking in this regard of what Obama supporter Professor Gates allegedly spluttered at the....Cambridge police officer who had the painful duty of interacting with him last week."

When thinking of Terry Schiavo, one can't help thinking of Professor Gates acting rudely to a policeman.

Well let's see where we've gotten to now: From Hitler to Sonya Sotomayor, to Terry Schiavo, to a rude Professor... I can hardly wait to see what's next.

"Last May, a priest who is a retired professor of theology and philosophy at the Catholic University of Louvain made some stunning, if underreported, remarks. Addressing a plenary assembly of the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences, Father Michel Schooyans, referring specifically to the person and policies of our nation's Chief Executive said, and I quote: "We are witnessing the emergence of a politico-legal terrorism without precedent in history."

Even WORSE than the Nazis, or Stalin! If we stop the insurance companies from screwing us, WE ARE WORSE THAN THE NAZIS!!!!!!!

"Father concludes that the United States is "well on the way to totalitarianism," and in danger of dragging the rest of the world down the path of diabolical destruction, too."

Diabolical, huh? After all, what's worse than the Nazis? Of course! Why didn't I realize it sooner! SATAN!!! OBAMA IS SATAN!!!!!!

"Choice," so defined, and the cattle cars packed with human cargo, are but two sides of the same coin, two stages of the identical ideological process."

HEALTH CARE IS THE SAME AS MASS MURDER! WHEN ARE YOU FOOLS GOING TO SEE THAT!

"Are we merely to ignore the fact that the very crimes denounced by Bishop von Galen (who spoke out against the Nazis- G.E.) are about to be implemented in America today — starting this very week, if Rahm Emanuel gets his way? The Obamacare bill, if passed (like the so-called stimulus package) would....impose a crime against humanity upon every state in the Union....countless people stand to be snuffed out....None of us then will be sure of his life."

I've talked about this before, but VOTE DEMOCRAT AND DIE!!!!

"...it's time for those among us still placidly insisting that "it can't happen here" to wake up and smell the Zyklon-B. And that, in short, is why Barack Obama must be legally compelled to produce his long-form birth certificate or its functional equivalent..."

And so that's why we must see Obama's birth certificate.

Let's try to go over this argument once again:
Nazis were bad.
Sonya Sotomayor is just like the Nazis.
Obama is a color-changing mole with invisible internal processes, i.e. a Nazi.
Terry Schiavo was killed like the Nazis killed some people.
Professor Gates yelling at a policeman is just like the people who killed Terry Schiavo.
Giving people a public option for medical care is just like putting them in cattle cars and taking them to gas chambers.
If we let health care reform pass, the world is going to face diabolical destruction.
A public option for health care means everyone dies.
So, we need to see Obama's birth certificate!

There you go! Right wing thinking in a nutshell.