Sunday, July 26, 2009

Wingnut Wrapup

What a load of crap, as usual. I think I'm going to have to start paring this down a little:

Austin Hill, Town Hall: "Why Aren't Americans Obeying Obama?"

You see, Austin, it's this way. We liberals don't believe it's our responsibility to obey the President. That's why we feel free to disagree with him. It's sort of a Republican thing to mindlessly follow orders.

Doug Giles, Town Hall: "Did anybody else notice feces fumes coming off Obama’s head during his last presser?"

Keep it classy, Doug. We need your sort of detailed political analysis.

Gateway Pundit: "There's more proof today that the Democrat's health bill promotes euthenasia."

No there's not. But here it is again, "Support Democrats and Die!"- the only argument you have left.

Gateway Pundit: "Hundreds of Tea Party Patriots attended the rally yesterday in Alton, Illinois just north of St. Louis:"

Hundreds. Hundreds. The might of an awakened people makes its presence felt! We're quaking in our boots now. Here comes the revolution.

Gateway Pundit: "Unreal!... OBAMA CUTS AID To Hondurus For Ousting Leftist Thug"

I.e. Obama cuts aid to country that replaces its legitimately elected leader with a military coup. How could he violate that grand old American tradition of supporting dictators?

Gateway Pundit: "ACORN Thugs Threaten Tea Party Prostesters"

Acorn Thugs:

"4 ACORN workers showed up to 40 Tea Party Patriots-- complete with signs, banners, flyers, stickers, posters and a loud voices."

Four people with banners and stickers- and loud voices! That spells thugs to me alright.

And they showed up at your mighty protest which attracted- wait, did it say 40 people? That can't be true can it? They must have meant 40,000, or maybe 40 million. After all, the mighty People's Uprising Against Fascist Socialist Muslim Communism couldn't have attracted a mere 40 people! It's the most important thing since the American Revolution!

Newsmax: "Gingrich: Country on 'edge of catastrophe"

Because of the Republican depression, or the miserable Republican health care situation, or the Republican real estate collapse? No:

"Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich says the United States needs a dramatic increase in defense spending or it will risk a national catastrophe -- from a nuclear or biological attack -- that could kill several million Americans"

Now, we already spend almost as much on our military as the whole rest of the world put together, but it isn't enough. Military contractors need more, more, MORE! Or you will all die! Die! DIE!!!!

World Net Daily Exclusive: "Savage: I'm banned because I'm Jewish"

Actually, Michael, you're banned because you are a lying racist pig.

World Net Daily: "Professor Gates held fundraiser for Obama"

Oh my God, the inhumanity! One black professor held a fundraiser for another black professor. Do you need any more proof of the racist black conspiracy against rich white people, that threatens to destroy our democracy?

World Net Daily Special Offer: "Navy sailors discover biggest heart breakthrough of century"

Who needs doctors or scientists?

Let's get Joe the Plumber working on a cure for lung cancer.

World Net Daily: "No clear plan to stop aliens from enrolling in government health plan"

This is a complete lie, of course. The bill specifically excludes them from the plan. But what's a little lie between friends, huh? Republican friends, anyway.

American Thinker: "Sarah Palin may become the great champion of liberty in an era when it is under threat as never before. "

Ha ha. She quit, guys. Deal with it. She went for the money. Some champion of liberty. The liberty to not do your job.

National Review Online: "Henry Louis Gates — the V.I.P. — was the author of his own misfortune"

By committing the inexcusable act of entering his own front door without prior police permission. Not allowed for black men. Didn't he know that?

A little note: Because there are a number of misspellings in the quotes today, I want to make it clear that they were all cut and pasted from the original sources. I'm not these guys' fourth grade teacher (if any of them made it that far,) and I guess I'm just too lazy to write 'sic' every time they misspell something. So the ignorance can just stay in. It's all part of the package, after all.

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