Patriots Wave Their Guns
Well, as those of you as obsessed with terminal idiocy as old Green Eagle may be aware, today was the 15th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing, the second worst terrorist act in the history of the United States. Gun lunatics took this occasion, on the heels of the recent failed tea parties, to call for a great "open carry" demonstration near Washington, in which they would strut around with their penises- sorry there, I meant their guns- on display, and broadcast their hatred of Democrats, and Black ones in particular. 75 people showed up, and a couple of hundred more in Washington, where apparently, unlike Virginia, they have the sense not to let mental defectives walk around in public with loaded weapons. Of course, there are millions more of these pathetic degenerates hiding in the woods with their manly weapons at the ready, if the 75 jackasses that showed up today are to be believed. I've collected here a number of reports from this great patriotic gathering. Read as much of this asinine garbage as you can take. Links to the sources of this nonsense are at the end of my post.
"Hundreds of gun activists descended on Washington, D.C., and neighbouring Virginia on Monday to trumpet their constitutional right to bear arms and rail against what they perceive to be a socialist takeover of their country.
"We're in a war. The other side knows they are at war, because they started it," Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America, told a largely male crowd at the foot of the Washington Monument."
Larry, Obama has the whole U.S. military to use. If he had started a war against you, you would be in roughly the same shape as a bug that hit your windshield on the freeway. And face it, your war is just about as real as the games of cowboys and Indians you played when you were five. And you know why? Because mentally, you still are five.
"They are coming for our freedom, for our money, for our kids, for our property. They are coming for everything because they are a bunch of socialists," he said."
Sure, sure. We're coming for your trailers, your broken down pickup trucks, your moonshine stills, your coon hounds, your confederate flags, and most of all for your fat stupid asses. All of that stuff is just what we always wanted. And now we're going to take it and redistribute it all to black people, because that's just the way we communists do things.
"Signs in the crowd pointed to the role of government, with one reading, "My rights come from God, not from the government." Protesters had large rifles and other weapons strapped to their bodies."
As defenders of God always do. Just read the bible about Jesus' followers swaggering around everywhere threatening people with swords.
Remember Mike Vanderboegh, the brick-through-the-Democrats'-windows guy? He was there:
"I was trying to get the attention of people who are pushing this country toward civil war, that they should stop before somebody gets hurt," Vanderboegh said...I hope to make them understand that the situation was coming to a fundamental break when people innocent and guilty alike were going to begin dying for their own stupid failure to comprehend the real situation that we are all in," he warned."
Innocent and guilty alike. We'd better cower in fear, guys. Mike is coming for you with his bricks. Remember when Mike's guy Jesus used to send his apostles to throw bricks at the innocent? That was so much fun for them, in between turning wine into water. And Mike and his friends are just like Jesus, what with their magic ability to turn beer into piss.
You know, if this guy and his friends were not a bunch of infantile cowards I would worry about their threats, given as how it sort of sounds like what they want to do happened fifteen years ago today. Luckily, even shoddy government buildings are hard to bring down by throwing bricks at them.
"He then led the crowd in chanting what he called a Southern "battle cry" of "Oh hell no!" Explained the Alabaman: "When you hear it, where I come from, you know that somebody's going to get beat, stabbed or shot, and the guy that takes the beating, the knife blade, or the bullet undoubtedly deserves it."
Mike, you know who is likely to get stabbed or shot? You, by one of your stupid, violent fellow idiots, who has as much control over his weapons as you do over your mouth. And by the way, in Alabama, where you come from, everyone with skin color lighter than a basketball is a moron barely smart enough to make it from their chair to the beer cooler.
"Among the group was Tim Hammond, who carried two pistols, a rifle and plenty of ammunition as part of an all-black outfit that included a black tricorn hat. Hammond, who said he flew in from California, told another demonstrator he believes that President Obama is the antichrist."
That's a good strategy, huh? The first thing to do when your freedom is threatened is to dress up in some stupid pretend uniform. What is this, a political rally or a cosplay convention? I wonder if any of these guys came dressed as a gundam.
And by the way, a hell of a lot of good your pistols and rifle are going to do against the antichrist. Do you think he is going to go down that easy? He's probably toting a couple of chain guns himself.
"We're definitely in the end times," Hammond continued. "The rapture, in my opinion, has to be sometime this fall."
Keep the date clear, guys- right around Halloween. That way, you can get double use out of your soldier costumes. I'm just grateful that it isn't going to happen before Buddy Guy's gig at the Hollywood Bowl this August. I'm really looking forward to that. And I bet that more than 75 people show up.
"Vanderboegh said some participants were "pretty disappointed at how few people turned out here," but then likened them to another "determined minority," the Jews of the Warsaw ghetto."
Now these guys have descended into real ugliness. Four hundred thousand inhabitants of the Warsaw ghetto were exterminated by the Nazis. And how many of these dicks have been exterminated by the New Hitler, Barack Obama? What was that number now? Oh yeah, zero. Real valid comparison there, asshole.
"Daniel Almond, a three-tour veteran of Iraq, is ready to "muster outside D.C." on Monday with several dozen other self-proclaimed patriots, all of them armed."
"Muster." Don't make me laugh. More likely drink until they all vomit and pass out. That's real confederate culture.
"Almond plans to have his pistol loaded and openly carried, his rifle unloaded and slung to the rear, a bandoleer of magazines containing ammunition draped over his polo-shirted shoulder."
For what? I mean, besides some infantile fantasy. But I'm glad that he has his costume planned out. I love the "slung to the rear" part. And no, I am not going to elaborate on that. We got into enough trouble with the teabagger thing.
Man, our country can do without these people. Oh well, at least we can take comfort in the fact that there aren't apparently that many people around as stupid as these pathetic wankers, and the ones that do exist will mostly trip over their shoelaces before they get their pistols out of their holsters.
Links: Here, here, here
"Hundreds of gun activists descended on Washington, D.C., and neighbouring Virginia on Monday to trumpet their constitutional right to bear arms and rail against what they perceive to be a socialist takeover of their country.
"We're in a war. The other side knows they are at war, because they started it," Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America, told a largely male crowd at the foot of the Washington Monument."
Larry, Obama has the whole U.S. military to use. If he had started a war against you, you would be in roughly the same shape as a bug that hit your windshield on the freeway. And face it, your war is just about as real as the games of cowboys and Indians you played when you were five. And you know why? Because mentally, you still are five.
"They are coming for our freedom, for our money, for our kids, for our property. They are coming for everything because they are a bunch of socialists," he said."
Sure, sure. We're coming for your trailers, your broken down pickup trucks, your moonshine stills, your coon hounds, your confederate flags, and most of all for your fat stupid asses. All of that stuff is just what we always wanted. And now we're going to take it and redistribute it all to black people, because that's just the way we communists do things.
"Signs in the crowd pointed to the role of government, with one reading, "My rights come from God, not from the government." Protesters had large rifles and other weapons strapped to their bodies."
As defenders of God always do. Just read the bible about Jesus' followers swaggering around everywhere threatening people with swords.
Remember Mike Vanderboegh, the brick-through-the-Democrats'-windows guy? He was there:
"I was trying to get the attention of people who are pushing this country toward civil war, that they should stop before somebody gets hurt," Vanderboegh said...I hope to make them understand that the situation was coming to a fundamental break when people innocent and guilty alike were going to begin dying for their own stupid failure to comprehend the real situation that we are all in," he warned."
Innocent and guilty alike. We'd better cower in fear, guys. Mike is coming for you with his bricks. Remember when Mike's guy Jesus used to send his apostles to throw bricks at the innocent? That was so much fun for them, in between turning wine into water. And Mike and his friends are just like Jesus, what with their magic ability to turn beer into piss.
You know, if this guy and his friends were not a bunch of infantile cowards I would worry about their threats, given as how it sort of sounds like what they want to do happened fifteen years ago today. Luckily, even shoddy government buildings are hard to bring down by throwing bricks at them.
"He then led the crowd in chanting what he called a Southern "battle cry" of "Oh hell no!" Explained the Alabaman: "When you hear it, where I come from, you know that somebody's going to get beat, stabbed or shot, and the guy that takes the beating, the knife blade, or the bullet undoubtedly deserves it."
Mike, you know who is likely to get stabbed or shot? You, by one of your stupid, violent fellow idiots, who has as much control over his weapons as you do over your mouth. And by the way, in Alabama, where you come from, everyone with skin color lighter than a basketball is a moron barely smart enough to make it from their chair to the beer cooler.
"Among the group was Tim Hammond, who carried two pistols, a rifle and plenty of ammunition as part of an all-black outfit that included a black tricorn hat. Hammond, who said he flew in from California, told another demonstrator he believes that President Obama is the antichrist."
That's a good strategy, huh? The first thing to do when your freedom is threatened is to dress up in some stupid pretend uniform. What is this, a political rally or a cosplay convention? I wonder if any of these guys came dressed as a gundam.
And by the way, a hell of a lot of good your pistols and rifle are going to do against the antichrist. Do you think he is going to go down that easy? He's probably toting a couple of chain guns himself.
"We're definitely in the end times," Hammond continued. "The rapture, in my opinion, has to be sometime this fall."
Keep the date clear, guys- right around Halloween. That way, you can get double use out of your soldier costumes. I'm just grateful that it isn't going to happen before Buddy Guy's gig at the Hollywood Bowl this August. I'm really looking forward to that. And I bet that more than 75 people show up.
"Vanderboegh said some participants were "pretty disappointed at how few people turned out here," but then likened them to another "determined minority," the Jews of the Warsaw ghetto."
Now these guys have descended into real ugliness. Four hundred thousand inhabitants of the Warsaw ghetto were exterminated by the Nazis. And how many of these dicks have been exterminated by the New Hitler, Barack Obama? What was that number now? Oh yeah, zero. Real valid comparison there, asshole.
"Daniel Almond, a three-tour veteran of Iraq, is ready to "muster outside D.C." on Monday with several dozen other self-proclaimed patriots, all of them armed."
"Muster." Don't make me laugh. More likely drink until they all vomit and pass out. That's real confederate culture.
"Almond plans to have his pistol loaded and openly carried, his rifle unloaded and slung to the rear, a bandoleer of magazines containing ammunition draped over his polo-shirted shoulder."
For what? I mean, besides some infantile fantasy. But I'm glad that he has his costume planned out. I love the "slung to the rear" part. And no, I am not going to elaborate on that. We got into enough trouble with the teabagger thing.
Man, our country can do without these people. Oh well, at least we can take comfort in the fact that there aren't apparently that many people around as stupid as these pathetic wankers, and the ones that do exist will mostly trip over their shoelaces before they get their pistols out of their holsters.
Links: Here, here, here
Comments
Metaphorical war, not an actual war. I know you like to take things out of context but that one was just egregious.
"where you come from, everyone with skin color lighter than a basketball is a moron barely smart enough to make it from their chair to the beer cooler."
. . . Racist comment? why?
""The rapture, in my opinion, has to be sometime this fall.""
Doesn't he know that won't be until December 2012???????
Gag. Great piece.
Derek do you believe that there are many among that gaggle of morons who even know what a metaphor is?
Besides you are being very disingenuous... One of the primary and explicit tenets of these gun-fondling loser brigades you admire so much is that they need to be armed in order to defend themselves from their own government.
And if you think my basketball comment was an attempt to cast contempt on white southern males, you're right. When they stop defending the confederacy and strutting around with guns like a bunch of macho assholes, I'll reconsider my view.
Great take-down. Thanks. Humor is the only way to get any mileage out of these loons.
Sure but that doesn't mean they are currently in an actual war with the government. They might be eventually but what he is discussing is a battle for rights, not a actual tooth and nail battle to the death.
"they would have been carrying metaphorical guns."
. . . No they'd be carrying their guns just the same. They are carrying guns as a demonstration, a peaceful one mind you, of their rights. They aren't packing heat because they are planning to flank the government from the North. I thought too much of you GE, I thought you'd just call it a cheap shot and move on. You seriously believe he was talking about real war?
"And if you think my basketball comment was an attempt to cast contempt on white southern males, you're right."
Only a few are morons, but you have morons in every state, not just Alabama. The fact that Napolitano called me racist and a threat to national security shows that morons can even rise to hold high office and be regarded by liberals like yourself to be brilliant. Idiocy knows no bounds. I would think that if the goal is to reduce racism to the point of nonexistence that you would refuse to even recognize skin color as a factor in any situation. I guess you aren't progressive enough GE ;)