Saturday, June 12, 2010

Wingnut Wrapup

These people have become so tedious. Remember back in the golden age of right wing lies (last year) when Green Eagle could fill up a whole Wingnut Wrapup column every day? Sad to say, they have deteriorated to the point where they are just as crazy, but only a quarter as funny.

Well, here is one right wing outrage I won't deal with: The wingnuts are fuming that President Obama said something about "kicking ass." This will, in their opinion, form one of the key counts of the impending impeachment charges against Obama. Go figure. Well, here we go:

J. R. Dunn, American Thinker: "Rumors of a Coup- We've been hearing a lot of comments recently about a national coup d'etat scheduled for sometime in late summer or early fall and designed to circumvent the coming Democrat debacle in the 2010 elections...my interest was piqued by the fact that it has been mentioned several dozen times in the comment threads of essays of mine in recent weeks."

Mentioned several times in the comment threads of one of the most lunatic right wing sites in existence. Yeah, that's real proof that it will happen. Too bad you couldn't come up with something a little more concrete, guys. And by the way, I'm not sure you can actually stage a coup d'etat when you're already the head of the government. Think about it.

Walter E. Williams, Town Hall: "Can Black Americans Afford Obama?"

Probably not. That's why our plan is to make rich white people pay for him.

Paul Greenberg, Town Hall: " Who Killed Scholarship?"

This article gave me a laugh. It was about an alleged decline in the quality of college education in Arkansas. I've got to give this guy credit, though. I never thought anybody would be able to fit the two words "scholarship" and "Arkansas" in the same sentence.

Pam Geller, Atlas Shrugged: "Bolton 2012! I am thrilled that a Bolton 2012 presidency is finally being discussed. I can think of no better man, statesman, patriot, hero, truth teller and great American to right the historic Obama disaster."

Oh, I don't know, how about Charlie Manson? He's just as mindlessly violent as Bolton, and has the distinct advantage that he hasn't been wrong about every single thing for the last two decades. And he's lots cuter.

Bob Unruh, World Net Daily: "A retired U.S. military leader who now is a presence on the Internet has issued a call for President Obama's resignation and a new election to replace him."

A "presence on the internet!" You mean like Rick Astley, or that cat that looks like Hitler?

World Net Daily: "JUST THE FACTS...Pagan god Baal rises again. Exclusive: Richard Rives traces return of Bible villain.

Just the facts. That's what we count on from WND. Pagan god Baal rises again. Just the facts.

And now for the right wing delusion of the day:

Thomas Lifson, American Thinker: "Sarah Palin the big winner Tuesday"

And I didn't even know she was on the ballot. Well, don't worry, whatever position she won, she'll quit soon.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Rep. Michele Bachmann: Obama Is Worst President Ever… “No Question”

Still trying to make us forget about the real Worst President Ever, huh, Michelle? And it hasn't even been two years. It ain't going to work unless Obama starts some wars of aggression and sets out deliberately to cause another depression.

World Net Daily BREAKING NEWS! Jails for illegals become 'Club Fed' paradise Breaking News. Opulent lifestyle of art, dance, movie nights, hanging plants, fresh carrot sticks"

Fresh carrot sticks- how dare they! Amereican taxpayers are paying to give these people fresh carrot sticks? The outrage! Put these people on bread and water, or better yet, just shoot them. Who cares if their cases haven't gone to trial yet- they're brown people.

Rick Moran, American Thinker: "Obama's hate speech aimed at BP incites violence...Writing on his Web site, a Conservative peer, Lord Tebbit, called the American response "a crude, bigoted, xenophobic display of partisan, political, presidential petulance against a multinational company."

Hate speach, i.e. expecting them to pay for the damage they caused. That sure is hate speech, huh? It's so petulant and partisan for the President to expect corporations to take responsibility for what they did in the course of making their CEO's rich. I mean, is that fair?

And now, three short lessons in economics, courtesy of your Republican party:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Finally Boehner Speaks Out: “Bush Tax Cuts Did Not Lead to Deficit”

Oh no, they were free! No one had to pay for the trillion dollars Bush gave to rich people. I should have known!

Astute Bloggers: "WHO IS TO BLAME FOR THE BP OIL SPILL? DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS!"

Of course- should have known. And in related news:

Astute Bloggers: "
CAN "BUSH'S WARS" BE JUSTIFIABLY BLAMED FOR THE DEFICITS? NOPE."

Listen, wingnuts- can't you just shut up already?

Ken Blackwell, Town Hall: "Obama and Pelosi Hijack Christianity"

By claiming to believe in it. That's reserved for Republicans. Democrats are all Muslim Communists, you know. And by the way, do we have to be lectured on morality by an unrepentant criminal?

And now, the conversation we are least likely to listen to:

Town Hall: "TH Weekend Journal: Dick Morris and Dennis Prager discuss the 2010 primary elections"

Oh God, spare us.

Moe Lane, Red State: " ‘The Buck Stops… with me.” I just noticed that the President kind of likes to use that phrase a bit."

And now Obama can't even take responsibility for things without being ripped to shreds by the right. You just can't win with these stupid, lying dicks.

3 comments:

Poll P. said...

See, you did find enough grist for your mill.

magpie said...

"Obama and Pelosi Hijack Christianity"

I didn't know Christianity was a truck.

Green Eagle said...

No, it's an airplane, and Obama and Pelosi want to fly it right into our great Republic, like the Muslim terrorists we always knew they were.