Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Obama Responsible for Every Bad Thing Ever

Longtime readers of my blog (both of you) will know that sometimes I come across such an incredible example of wingnut idiocy that it would be doing its author an injustice by restricting it to a brief mention in Wingnut Wrapup. So often, these special posts come from Renew America, and today's example, by Joan Swirsky is no exception. Let's just see what the intellectual hothouse that is Renew America has produced today, with appropriate exegesis by Mr. Green Eagle:

"The Obama disaster machine: unfortunate coincidences or malevolently premeditated?

Is it only me, or do the multiple disasters that have struck both well before and ever since the disastrous election of Barack Obama seem fishy to you?"

Well, Joan, I wish I could say that it's only you, but a bunch of your lying, malignant friends are saying the same thing.

"I won't discuss the stock market crash of September 2008 here, although if anything seemed suspiciously timed and deliberately manipulated, it was that! "

Obama caused the stock market crash of September 2008, before he was even elected- possibly through Vulcan mind control or hypnosis or something.

"In the months that followed Obama's "election," we saw literally trillions of dollars in "urgent" bailouts and stimulus packages"

Notice that she puts the word "election" in quotes. She cannot even bring herself to admit that Obama won the election fair and square. No, it was some corrupt plot, the nature and purpose of which goes completely unexplained.

"We saw a nationally-loathed healthcare bill rammed through Congress with bribes, threats, and intimidation. And we saw the attempts by Obama and his fellow leftists to jam an equally-detested cap-and-trade tax down our throats."

Because if there is one thing people hate more than having health care, it's clean water and air.

"Mmmmm. Wasn't that just about the time the tragic West Virginia mine disaster happened, killing 29 of 31 miners? What a coincidence! A "president" who hates coal as an energy source being presented with a putative reason to destroy the coal industry!"

Obama caused the disaster at a coal mine which had been cited literally hundreds of times in the last few years for safety violations, but never punished by the Federal agency in charge, which was headed by a Bush appointee who was formerly the CFO of the company that owned the mine. That is clearly some sort of sinister Obama Commie plot, yes sir!

"Kind of reminds you of the recent BP oil spill, doesn't it? A "president" still pushing the cap-and-trade scheme who reviles domestically-acquired oil being presented with an oh-so-convenient rationalization to cancel all domestic drilling! Again, what a coincidence!"

All domestic drilling? Obama wanted to cancel all domestic drilling? When did that happen? I must have been asleep.

"These disasters benefit Obama's agenda, which is to destroy America's potential for energy independence at the same time imposing draconian taxes designed to obliterate the middle class. In short, galloping socialism on the way to freedom-annihilating Communism!"

No comment needed.

"The route to Obama's hate-America agenda is and always has been to create Alinsky-inspired widespread-and-sustained chaos, the better to keep people off balance, riddled with anxiety, and hoping for the redemption of big government. How else to explain the spate of unprecedented tragedies, catastrophes, and calamities that have struck our own country and around the world, for instance the three Muslim terrorist attacks in the U.S., including the attack at Fort Hood in Texas in which 13 were murdered and 30 injured; the wanton murder of police officers in Seattle; the explosion on New York's Madison Avenue (which authorities claimed was a burst pipe); the calamitous earthquakes in Haiti and Chile; the eruption of the volcano in Iceland that disrupted European air traffic; the airline crash in Russia that killed the president of Poland, on and on."

Now he's responsible for a mass murder, the killing of police in Seattle, two gigantic earthquakes, a volcano, and an airplane crash in Russia- and on and on. I'm sure he sank the Titanic himself too, and incited the Franco-Prussian war.

Seriously, is this a specimen of severe psychosis, or are these people really trying to shove this preposterous, hateful drivel down the throats of their readers?

"Crazy, you say, to suggest that the Obama regime is responsible for these domestic incidents and international "natural" disasters?"

Yes I do say "crazy." Who wouldn't?

"And what another coincidence — the BP explosion took place just a day before Earth Day!"

Well, there's your proof! And I hope you buy into it- it's the only evidence offered in this entire, literally insane, article.

"According to Mississippi resident and radio disk jockey Gina Miller, a number of culprits might be to blame for the disaster"

Gina Miller, Mississippi resident and disk jockey. These culprits, in case you're interested, consist of Al Gore, North Korea, Venezuela, China and Russia.

"Bad enough that BP's recently-removed CEO is under suspicion, but now the Obama regime has decided to go after none other than BP itself!"

Oh, what an injustice! They are going after BP, when the whole thing is clearly an after-effect from that earthquake that Obama caused in Haiti.

"It seems increasingly apparent that many friends of Obama are either financially and/or politically invested in NALCO, the company that manufactures the toxic dispersants being used to "clean up" the horrific oil spill. They include BP, Deep Water Horizon, Halliburton, Citigroup, Goldman-Sachs"

Forget the rest- now Obama is a friend of Halliburton? The nerve of these people.

"Al Capone murdered untold numbers of people but went to jail for tax evasion. That was the best Lady Justice could do against that career thug and mass murderer. Will Leavenworth be in Barack Obama's future?"

Of course, no discussion of whether real mass murderers Bush and Cheney belong in prison. But Obama? Well, no one knows what mass he murdered, but it must have been someone.

Is there anyone out there who would like to tell me how we are t ever reach some sort of functional agreement with these evil liars?


Poll P. said...

This is friggin' hilarious. Ravings of a lunatic...or paid sower of discord among the mentally-deficient and yet entitled to a vote?

I see a vast right-wing conspiracy happening here.

Infidel753 said...

This is incredible. Do you have the URL of the original?

Green Eagle said...

Well, if you're really interested, here it is:

While there, you can get a look at a picture of Ms. Swirsky who, as Green Eagle has pointed out before, has what is possibly the finest girl-mullet ever seen.

And please remember that this website, unlike some of the real kooks I mention, was founded and is run by Republican mainstay Alan Keyes, and is one of the most widely read political websites in the country.

Green Eagle said...

Can I add something that just occurred to me? If I were BP I would be doing exactly what I derided above- claiming that this disaster was caused by underground movement resulting from the Haiti earthquake, a once in a lifetime occurrence which should not be used as an argument against offshore drilling, as it will likely never happen again.

I wonder how long it will be before someone in the oil industry thinks of this.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh. Your responses were hilarious.

Unfortunately I know people who actually believe this stuff. Just the other day I had two of them, drunk on Beck's kool-aid, trying to convince me that the slaves were freed by our Founding Fathers. It's true......the slaves were freed. The authors even ensured their freedom in the Constitution. As I learned, it was one more thing those progressive/commie educators left out of the history curriculums. (And I was suffering a flashback, from that LSD I never knew I took, when I toured the slave quarters at Monticello.)

I was told I needed to open my eyes and accept reality. How does one even respond? Next time, I'll take your lead.