Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Wingnut Wrapup

Again, it's taken me a couple of days to find enough wackiness to fill up my post. And really, right wingers, some of this stuff is pretty marginal. I'm beginning to think that the wingnuts are running out of steam.

Michael Barone, Town Hall: "Unlike Obama, Americans Reject European Model"

Not me. I'm ready for a European model right now! Can I have Heidi Klum?

Soren Dayton, Red State: "Charlie Rangel is holding Puerto Rican grandmothers hostage to protect his rum buddies."

That's just not right, Soren. That sounds worse than death squads to me. Charlie, how about at least sharing the rum with the grannies? After their hostage trauma, I'm sure they could use it.

Moe Lane, Red State: "Rasmussen: 54/42 against health care rationing."

You know, Moe, I think that is a big fat lie. You know why? If you really asked people, I bet not 5% of them would say they want health care rationing. Who would actually be for health care rationing? So, I think you just made up the claim that 42% of Americans want their health care to be rationed. Just how stupid do you think we are?

Red State: "In case you had any doubt that liberals don’t get it when it comes to health care reform...Let’s compare what the insurance execs claim…vs what some moron on the left has to say about it."

Two great claims here: First, that "some moron" speaks for the entire left, and second, that we can certainly trust insurance executives to give us the unvarnished, impartial truth about health care reform. I don't think these guys believe either one of those things; if they did, I'm not sure which one would make them look stupider.

Pammy, Atlas Shrugs: "Obama's Website: Obama is the new [and improved] Jesus"

It says it right there on his website: Obama is the new Jesus.

Oh wait. It didn't? Silly us, fooled by that rascally little Pammy again.

James M. Fly, National Review Online: The vice president’s plan for Afghanistan is only his latest exercise in folly and self-contradiction."

Unlike, say, the last vice president's plan for Iraq, which was a masterful success which in no way could be considered a folly. I mean, am I right here, or what? No?

That Stupid Pammy, Again: "Hush Hush: Huge Fed/FBI Raid on Chicago Halal Goat Meat Slaughterhouse"

Oh my God, hide under your beds! The terrorist Islamic goat butchers are coming for us all! And they're from Chicago, too! As soon as I heard about this, I just knew that Obama was behind it.

And Again: "Net Neutrality: A Marxist Revolution
America is under siege. Every assumption, every basic fundamental right is under attack. The very premise of America, individual rights, is being destroyed."

Not letting huge corporations charge you more to put things online if they don't like what you are saying: Marxism. An attack on every basic fundamental right.

Grow up already, Pam.

Andie Brownlow, Pajamas Media: "No, Conservatism Isn't Like Nazism. (Sigh...)"

Yes it is. Look around you.

Gateway Pundit: "Sarah Palin Will Sit Down With Oprah Next Month After Oprah Dissed Her During Campaign"

Anything for a buck, that's the quitter's new philosophy.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "State-Run Media Now Openly Using Vile “Teabagger” Term to Describe Conservatives"

Tough luck, whiner.

Janet Porter, World Net Daily: "When Phelim Mcaleer pointed out the inconvenient fact from his documentary "Not Evil, Just Wrong," that there are more polar bears today – not less – contrary to Al Gore's documentary, Gore responded by … cutting off his microphone.
That's what the Obama administration is trying to do to us, and I would make the case that what's going on today isn't just wrong, it's downright evil.
Evil. Like a guy who murders 70 million people."

Cutting off some jerk's microphone: the same as murdering 70 million people.

So comparing Al Gore to Hitler because he didn't want to listen to this idiot's maundering is just fine. But don't you dare call them teabaggers. That would be vile.

P.S.- In case you didn't guess this already, the polar bear thing is a lie. In 1970, a ban was imposed on hunting polar bears, which resulted in a great increase in their numbers, which are now declining rapidly due to global warming. So yeah, there are more polar bears now than in 1970, but not for long.


James Lewis, American Thinker: "Did Obama swing his own Nobel?"

He gave himself his Nobel Prize. That's a new one. And really likely too, huh? Sort of like John Kerry and his medals, only harder because some furriners give out the awards.

What I would like to know, Mr. Lewis, is whether you gave yourself your own lobotomy. I don't think it's covered by private insurance.

3 comments:

mastercynic said...

They raided the goat butchers so no one would discover that The Men Who Stare At Goats is actually a documenatary.

Green Eagle said...

Staring at goats is okay by me. It's what else they do with them that I'm worried about.

That reminds me of the famous question: What's the problem about making love to a sheep? You have to go around to the other side to kiss them.

mastercynic said...

And as Gene Wilder found out, it's hard to find garter belts in the right size.