In the meantime, here's the garbage that's on my plate today, which I am delighted to scrape onto your laps:
Suzanne Fields, Town Hall: "Rep. Michele Bachmann, founder of the tea party caucus in the new Congress, gave more than a response to President Obama's State of the Union speech Tuesday night. We got a look at the new political woman in Washington"
The new Republican political woman anyway- a lying, corrupt, ignorant demagogue. Meet the new woman, just like the old man.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "DOLLAR CRUMBLES After Obama’s Disappointing SOTU Performance"
Yes, the dollar crumbled, CRUMBLED, I tell you! THE END IS NEAR! Don't believe it? Look at Jim's own chart! The dollar crashed from 78.00 to 77.92, a loss of one tenth of a percent! Doom is nigh! AND IT'S ALL OBAMA'S FAULT!
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Paul Ryan Gives GOP Response– Home Run!"
If by "home run," you mean being so tedious, predictable and irrelevant that no one noticed it. If by "home run" you mean being upstaged by Michelle Bachmann.
World Net Daily: "Game-changer! Arizona to pass 2012 eligibility law...Obama will have to produce birth certificate to run again"
My suggestion: Since Obama has approximately zero chance of winning in Arizona anyway, let them take him off the ballot. See who ends up looking like idiots when a State refuses to allow its citizens to vote for the sitting President.
And today's recipient of the Keeping Our Eyes on the Big Issues award:
Humberto Fontova, Town Hall: "Whole Lotta Stupidity—Jimmy Page Visits Cuba"
And a sample of the brilliant analysis in this piece:
"To Led Zeppelin’s former guitarist the visit probably seemed, not only fitting, but long overdue. Cuba was, after all, the first nation ruled by bearded long-hairs."
The first? Really? I'd have thought that might have been Babylon, or the ancient Persian empire, or how about biblical Israel? Nice try there, Humberto. You were only off by a few thousand years.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Obama Continues to Play the Middle As Violence Erupts in Egypt"
As opposed to the Republican strategy: take the opportunity to be a malicious demagogue and poison the chances for real reform as much as possible.
Nicole Kurokawa, Town Hall: "The Speech That Could've Been"
Blah blah blah, no regulation, blah blah blah, cut taxes for the rich, blah blah blah. That pretty well sums it up. Surprised?
Lloyd Marcus, Renew America: "Hallelujah! Finally, We The People have a voice. It's a bright new day! Rep. Michele Bachmann gave the Tea Party Movement response to Obama's State of the Union (bait and switch) address."
Because you didn't have a voice before, since the Commie Obama shut up Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich and Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly and Eric Cantor and John Boehner, etc.
But I do agree that Michelle Bachmann is your voice, Lloyd: the voice of stupidity and ignorance.
Astute Bloggers: "CAN "BUSH'S WARS" BE JUSTIFIABLY BLAMED FOR THE DEFICITS? Nope.
THIS POST NEEDS TO BE DRUMMED INTO EVERY LIBERALS ANTI-BUSH HEAD"
Because the three trillion dollars that Bush wasted on those wars was really just imaginary money, and didn't cost us anything. Astute thinking there, guys.
The Malcontent: "Ultimate Hypocrisy, The Leftist Media And the Leftist Bloggers Wind up with Egg on Their Miserable Lying Scandalous Faces. Cops say, Todd Palin, is not involved in a prostitution ring "
Did you ever hear of this story? I didn't. Maybe that's because it appeared in the National Enquirer. Leftist media indeed. Anyway, I'm glad to hear that Todd isn't running a prostitution ring. Sarah couldn't stand the competition.
And now, a winner of the cherished "Don't Get the Concept" citation:
Dan Riehl, Riehl World View: "I seem to see all these polls stating Palin's unfavorables are growing. Yet, at a fundraiser for Lubbock Christian School, where Palin is set to speak tonight, seems to suggest otherwise. Tickets for this event were sold out a day after it was announced... back in September."
Dan, let me try to explain this to you. That was back in September, not now. The polls you're complaining about are now. Get what I'm trying to tell you? Think about it. Maybe you'll figure it out.
And this frightening revelation:
Joe Kovacs, World Net Daily EXCLUSIVE: "Are you eating food sacrificed to idols? American pastor sounds alarm on supermarkets, restaurants...Whole Foods is among the growing number of U.S. companies offering Islamically permissible "halal" products at its stores. When you bite into a delicious pizza, succulent sandwich or luscious lamb chops, are you possibly eating food that has been sacrificed to idols?"
Following in their long tradition, World Net Daily leads the nation's press in bringing you the truly pressing issues of the day. I'll tell you one thing, though. If I were an idol, I sure wouldn't be bought off with a pizza.
David Harsanyi, Real Clear Politics: "Really, was this country ever about being proud that your children ended up in the same plant you slaved in for 30 years? Even with a promise of a union pension and -- if you're lucky -- an "occasional" promotion, it sounds like a soul-crushing grind you'd want your offspring to escape, tout de suite."
No, of course that's not what we want, David. We're looking forward to our children living on a heating grate in an alley and experiencing the fulfilling life of going through dumpsters to collect cans so they can get enough money to eat. That's the real American spirit!
Kathryn Lopez, Town Hall: "New Leaders in Civil Rights"
Don't be surprised now- it's Rick Santorum and John Boehner. Yes, that's what Kathryn says! I guess they are the new leaders in Civil Rights because they are leading our country away from Civil Rights. That's a sort of leadership. But on the other hand, as Kathryn points out, they are firmly in favor of making government subsidize private school for the rich (otherwise known as school vouchers.) Giveaways for the wealthy- the new frontier in freedom.
And now, the They'll Never Change Certificate for today:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "It’s Obama’s Fault… Looters Break Into King Tut Museum & Destroy Artifacts"
Yes, he's serious. It's Obama's fault that people are looting eight thousand miles away.
And next, today's edition of Things We Don't Need to Listen To:
Red State: "Elliott Abrams on Egypt and Democracy"
Elliot Abrams was Reagan's point man in funneling millions to the right wing drug-dealing terrorist Contras, so they could overthrow the legally elected government of Nicaragua. We have so much to learn from him about democracy.
Roger Kimball, Pajamas Media: "Egypt: What Sauce Will Obama Use When He Eats His Words?"
Of course, he hasn't said much of anything yet, but as soon as he does, boy are we ready to slime him for it, whatever it is. Because we are American Patriots. However, if the circumstances arise, could I recommend a nice tomatillo chipotle salsa? It goes so well with words.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "MARXISTS RALLY to Overthrow Tunisian, Egyptian & American Regimes"
The "Marxists" consisting, as far as I can tell from Jim's article, in two people holding a sign. Not a big threat yet, Jim. So, why not take a day off? Really, thinking up this sort of thing can't be good for your mental health. Such as it is.