Sunday, January 23, 2011

Wingnut Wrapup

Man, I've been having trouble facing these guys lately.  But you know what they say.  Someone's got to do it.  So, I did it.  And here's the results for today:

First, a great big shout of thanks to the guys at Red State, for putting to rest once and for all any questions about whether Conservative spokesmen are deliberately inciting violence:

"Here at RedState, we too have drawn a line.Those who wish to write on the front page of RedState must make the... pledge.  ...once before, our nation was forced to repudiate the Supreme Court with mass bloodshed. We remain steadfast in our belief that this will not be necessary again, but only if those committed to justice do not waiver or compromise, and send a clear and unmistakable signal to their elected officials of what must be necessary to earn our support."


I see.  They won't resort to mass bloodshed as long as we do exactly what they want.  That's really comforting.  I've spoken before about my fear that, not being satisfied with the results produced by the likes of Jared Lee Loughner, the right would soon start inciting much worse violence from militia-style groups.  Well, here they go.  Hold on to your seats.

And let's not forget that Keith Olbermann can be eliminated from the public forum for his liberal views, but the creator and owner of this website is still on CNN, being promoted nationwide as a reasonable contributor to our public discourse.

Austin Hill, Town Hall:  "Could ObamaCare Kill The American Work Ethic?..."Mr. Elmendorf stated that, in some cases, Americans will simply choose not to work, because their needs for healthcare will be provided by the enhanced Medicaid funding that is provided for in the Obamacare law."

Yeah, they'll just choose not to work if they have medical care.  It's not like they need money for food, or to pay the rent, or anything.  They'll just lie in the street and starve until someone takes them away in an ambulance and feeds them until they are healthy, and then they can start the same thing all over again.  That's really the American dream.

Doug Giles, Town Hall:  "Rebellion to Tyrants is Obedience to God"

Right wingers now expect us to take religious instruction from a lying smear master who has seemingly never done an honest thing in his life.  Well, that's about par for the course.

Vladimir, Town Hall:  "The Oil Spill Commissioner’s Anti-Oil Bias...Former Democratic Senator Bob Graham of Florida is co-chair of the President’s Oil Spill Commission. The Commission, stacked with environmentalists and Harvard lawyers"

What the hell would environmentalists and Harvard lawyers know about the environmental damage caused by the oil spill, or who is legally responsible?  No, much better to take Vladimir's advice and let oil industry executives decide who should pick up the tab.  That makes sooo much sense.

Confederate Yankee:  "Media Continues Praising The Terrorist Left"

What "terrorist left," you might ask?

Confederate Yankee:  "Another Leftist Assassin, Hidden by His Allies...At some point, wearing black clothes and a bullet-proof vest, 22 year-old Casey Brezik bolted out of a classroom, knife in hand, and slashed the throat of a dean. As he would later admit, he confused the dean with Nixon."

Aah yes, someone who thought their college dean was Richard Nixon.  There are just thousands of those lurking out there on the left.  Listen, you dick: Jared Lee Loughner didn't think his congresswoman was Richard Nixon- he knew exactly who she was and exactly why he decided to shoot her.  That's why he's a right wing terrorist, and the other guy is just a psychotic asshole.

Ron Radosh, Pajamas Media:  "Glenn Beck, Frances Fox Piven, and How the New York Times Falsely Depicts the Controversy...Who is the one inciting violence"

Francis Fox Piven?  Funny how the deranged, evil, lying Glenn Beck, who is provided with a daily national platform to spew his racism, his hatred and his calls for violence, is the equivalent of someone nobody has ever heard of, who (by the way) has not spewed racism, hatred and violence.  She joins Bill Ayers, Howard Zinn and Saul Alinsky in the pantheon of long-forgotten and insignificant left wing figures, who are somehow the equivalent of Rush Limbaugh, Beck and Palin, who are paid millions today to spread hatred.

Chris Salcedo, Pajamas Media:  "How to Appeal to Hispanics: DON’T!"

That's right.  Just abandon them, Repubicans.  They're worth more as enemies.  You're running through your enemies so fast that you are down to blaming the destruction of Western civilization on Francis Fox Piven.  I think you'd better be careful to save the ones you still have left.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Obama’s been in office for only 2 years and already they’re playing Red Chinese commie songs at State Dinners in the White House."

At least Obama didn't make the Chinese listen to "When the Eagle Soars."  That would have really been cruel.

Star Parker, World Net Daily:  "Health-care repeal not theater – it was reality TV"

Oh, you mean like those daytime shows where ignorant cracker families come on and get paid to humiliate themselves in public?  That's what the Republicans are like?  I can see that.

World Net Daily:  "REBELLION IN AMERICA...Faceoff! States tell feds to back down...What if Washington made a law and nobody obeyed?"

Then they'd all be criminals.  Simple answers to simple questions.

World Net Daily EXCLUSIVE!  "U.S. pushing Muslim to replace Christian"

This would be in the Cote d'Ivoire, where the U. S. is pushing to have a Muslim who won the presidential election there replace the malignant Christian dictator who refuses to give up power.  How could we ever betray our values like that?

World Net Daily:  "Let's get the 'F' out of media! Exclusive: Pat Boone identifies those truly responsible for youth's depravity"

Yup, just what you expected.  That shooter guy in Arizona?  It was all caused by someone saying "fuck" on TV.  Aren't you glad Pat solved that problem for us?  Now, how about another tax cut?

And now, the Grand Conservative Delusion of the Day:

Stella Paul, American Thinker:  "As far as I'm concerned, we already have our first female combat soldier, a breathtakingly brave warrior who suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune for the sake of our freedom, every day.

Sarah Palin stands alone in America and the world. Name one other public figure anywhere on the globe today who symbolizes the uncompromising fight for liberty."

Well, let's see...how about Idi Amin?  Oh no, wait, he's dead.  Oh, I've got it.  Baby Doc Duvalier.  I'd say he'd fit, as far as I can tell.  He's all about the liberty to get rich while stabbing your country in the back.  Just like Sarah.

And here's the abomination that we need to worry the least about today:

Astute Bloggers:  "MUSLIM CAST MEMBER IN BATMAN BETRAYS THE SPIRIT OF THE MASKED MANHUNTER"

The "Spirit of the Masked Manhunter."  One of our most cherished American legends.  The tragedy of seeing that noble ideal trampled into the dust by a Muslim cast member- it's almost too much to bear.  The founding fathers would never have allowed that.

And let's follow that up with a tin medal for the most preposterous attempt to blame Obama for something in at least six or seven hours:

Astute Bloggers:  "Powerful bomb found on the MLK route in Spokane Washinton...THIS BOMB WAS PROBABLY MADE AND PLANTED BY WHITE SUPREMACISTS - WHO ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON....IT'S A RESULT OF 2 YEARS OF OBAMA'S APPEASEMENT OF JIHAD."

Yeah, that's right.  It's Obama's fault that some white racist decided to kill black people.  Of course it is.  Everything is his fault.

But wait, there's more!  The Astute ones aren't done being stupid today:

Astute Bloggers:  "THE REAL ROOT CAUSE OF THE LEFT'S HYSTERICAL CHARGES AGAINST THE RIGHT REGARDING LOGHNER: DENIAL OF GLOBAL JIHAD AND FEAR OF WW4"

WW4?  I didn't even notice WW3.  Maybe WW4 won't be so bad if the last one went by so quietly.  And by the way, I really don't remember Loughner expressing anything one way or the other about global jihad.  On the other hand, he didn't want to pay his taxes.  Just like you guys.

Astute Bloggers:  "DOES OBAMA HAVE PARASITES - OR SOMETHING WORSE, LIKE HIV?...A medical researcher I contacted knew of no intestinal parasites that could not be rather easily eliminated, once diagnosed.  I ASK YOU: Maybe this is a cover up for something worse? HIV?

I DEMAND OBAMA RELEASE HIS FULL AND COMPLETE MEDICAL RECORDS."

Drop dead, asshole.  How much poison can one blog spread in one day?

And it's time, I think, to check in with our king of crazy, Henry Makow, for his latest revelation concerning our nation's history:

"The outlaw Jesse James killed the actor John Wilkes Booth at the Grand Avenue Hotel in Enid, Oklahoma in 1903 after Booth repeatedly reneged on his oath to never talk about his secret membership in the Masonic-oriented Knights of the Golden Circle (KGC) and his role in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln."

Jesse James died in 1882, but never underestimate the long arm of the Illuminati.

Finally, this one struck close to home:

Paul Byrne, Renew America:  "Do your organs belong to the government?"

Well, if you think my wife's keyboard player is giving Obama his Hammond, you're crazy.

4 comments:

Poll P. said...

Best "Wingnut Wrapup" ever!

magpie said...

A bit of nit-picking, but...

American Thinker, in talking about Palin, references Hamlet with the "slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune".
It's actually "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" - fortune being either good or bad.

Palin as Hamlet is a good fit though... he spent most of his time going psycho over ghosts in his brain and plotted violent removal of the king.

Anonymous said...

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/did-chinese-pianist-play-anti-american-tune-at-white-house/

Cardinal44 said...

God demands I kill those who refuse to cut my taxes! Thank God I'm an atheist.