Reverend Swank Solves the Climate Problem

We can always count on the Reverend Grant Swank to keep us informed about the issues of the day. Today, he turns his massive intellect, recently employed revealing that Obama is a Marxist Muslim Jihadist, toward the issue of climate science. Don't you just know that his comments are going to be so helpful to us? Well, let's just dive right in- the sooner started, the sooner finished:

"Let the Creator be in charge of climate."

Not that he's doing that good of a job of it these days. But then, having power and then governing with complete incompetence- that's the Republican way, right? And God is a Republican. If I've learned anything from Reverend Swank, it's that.

"Mortals are playing God when they move into changing climate and moving continents and sludging taxpayers and kissing up to unbelieving loudmouths and passing legislation that will gouge Americans and so forth."

Well, except that we are trying to prevent the climate from changing, Reverend. You guys are the ones that are changing it, and not for the better. By the way, I don't remember the part in the Bible where God threatens people who kiss up to loudmouths. If so, Dick Cheney's friends better get down on their knees and beg for forgiveness.

By the way, let's not fail to notice that, once again, it comes down to not wanting to pay taxes. They are nothing if not consistent, on that issue anyway.

God is God."

Well, I guess you can't argue with that.

"Mortals are so intent on playing deity that they play right into the hands of God's enemy, Satan. Satan always wanted to be God. He sought to take over the eternal throne. That cost him his place in hell. Now he is known in the Bible as the "King of the Pit."

King of the Pit? I thought that was Michael Vick.

"God states that "as long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease...All detail related to that overview is under God's surveillance, not mortals'. Tell that to Al Gore. Inform Bill Clinton of that basic reality."

Boy, there is a piece of science that sure influences my opinion. Grant, we never said summer and winter and all the rest of those things would cease- we just said that they would get really miserable. And you know what, if all you have to contribute to the climate issue is a bunch of two thousand year old myths, why don't you keep your opinions and your anger and your lying to yourself. We're trying to deal with a real problem here, and your attempt to exploit it to push your ugly, warped religious views on people really isn't helping.

"(Clinton, Gore et. al.) are representative of the climate-geared God-mockers who seek to manipulate creation to their own ends. Their own ends will be what is described repeatedly in Scripture as damnation."

I.e. apparently they will go straight to hell. As an alternative to you guys, who are dead set on making it just like hell right here at home.