Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wingnut Wrapup

I want to take a second to respond to a couple of commenters that very kindly expressed concern that all of my reading of these right wing blogs was going to end up damaging me. That's why we've assigned a parrot to the task. Parrots can repeat whatever they've heard over and over again, without having a clue what it means. So, thanks for the thought, but don't worry, Green Eagle is just fine, except for the stomach problems he encounters when he reads things like this:

Lori Ziganto, Red State: "Leftist Feminists Proudly Embrace Sluthood"

Finally! I've been waiting since the 60's for all of those leftist sluts I was promised. I just hope they don't give me a heart attack at my age.

Michael Ledeen, Pajamas Media: "Three American hikers, their friends, their parents — and perhaps President Obama — are learning that good intentions aren't enough to protect Americans."

Well, Michael, as we learned from George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, bad intentions aren't enough to protect us either. So I guess we're just screwed, huh?

Bernard Chapin, Pajamas Media: "It seems that only conservatives covet living in a post-racial society."

Which they plan to achieve by driving all of the other races out of the country. That's the post-racial society they are looking for. What true nobility on their part.

Jack Dunphy, Pajamas Media: "Chicago: Where Criminals No Longer Fear the Police"

Well, Chicago and Wall Street.

Gateway Pundit: "Bill Kristol: These Democrats “Would Have Given Up on WWII in 1942″

Really, Bill? I guess you've forgotten that WWII was fought under a Democratic President, who had to face unalterable opposition from a large part of the Republican party, even for providing aid to the British before we were attacked. Some Republican Senators actually took money from Germany after we entered the war to finance their pro-German propaganda campaign. So listen, jerk- don't tell us who would have fought in World War II.

World Net Daily: "Buxom blonde looks to stop Ground Zero mosque "

Well, glad to hear she has what it takes to fight the Muslim threat.

World Net Daily: "St. Louis police force gutted, criminals 'run wild' 'You lay off when you don't have the money. The money's gone'

Thanks, right wingers, for voting down every bond issue in sight. Boy, that "no new taxes" thing is really working out for you, huh?

Astute Bloggers: "ARE WATERS AND RANGEL GUILTY OF "GOVERNING WHILE BLACK", OR JUST FREAKIN' SLIMEBALLS?"

An interesting way to put that- "Governing While Black." Well, we've already seen that such a thing is a massive form of corruption, so I guess your question is moot.

Andrew Breitbart, speaking about Shirley Sherrod, the person that he subjected to nationwide lying smears: "As difficult as it probably was for her, it’s been difficult for me as well, especially to hear her hurl an accusation of racism at me, when my motivation is absolutely pure and is driven by a desire for this country to move beyond its horrid racist past."

Jeffrey Dahmer, speaking about one of his victims: "Sure it was tough luck for him, but you should have felt the stomach ache I got from eating his arm."

Chris Field, Town Hall: "A Right-Wing War on Science? Really?...on many science-related issues, the conservative position has either prevailed or gained considerable ground."

Too bad you couldn't have named a few.

Cal Thomas, Town Hall: "Ask yourself: if you wanted to infiltrate a country, wouldn't a grand strategy be to rapidly build mosques from Ground Zero in New York, to Temecula, Calif., and establish beachheads so fanatics could plan and advance their strategies under the cover of religious freedom and that great American virtue known as "tolerance," which is being used against us?"

It could have been so simple for Hitler! If only he had thought of building a mosque in Temecula, the whole country would have collapsed at his feet. Man, are we lucky he wasn't that clever.

Allen Hunt, Town Hall: " Dan Quayle Would Make A Great Counseling Professor"

As long as he's not counselling people on how to spell. Maybe he could counsel them on something he does understand- like how easy life is when you're born rich.

Power Line: "Bush team attempts to preserve Bush administration's success in Iraq"

Well, that shouldn't take very long, if you know what I mean.

Jeff Perren, Pajamas Media: "The Crisis that Wasn't: Where's All the Oil? The BP spill had media, politicians, and environmentalists once again pitching a worst-case scenario rather than objective analysis."

So, when you guys attacked Obama for weeks for not acting freaked out enough, actually he was right and you were wrong, right? What's that? I can't hear your answer....

Warner Todd Huston, Gateway Pundit: "Jamal Greene: Why Am I a Conservative?"

Because you're really, really stupid, and quite greedy too?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Media Mythbusting: Bush Tax Cuts Didn’t Work Well – They Worked Great"

For everybody who was already really rich. Otherwise, unless a depression is your definition of "great," they didn't work so well.

Henry Lamb, Renew America: "President Obama's Executive Order 13547 issued July 19, further extends federal power, embraces global governance, diminishes the rights and privileges of individuals, and brings the United States into compliance with Agenda 21, Chapter 17.6, which says: "Each coastal State should consider establishing, or where necessary strengthening, appropriate coordinating mechanisms for integrated management and sustainable development of coastal and marine areas...."

Yes, "integrated management and sustainable development of coastal and marine areas-" a step toward global dictatorship. Anyone can see that, right?

Confederate Yankee: "Worse Than the Klan: Exposing the Real Sherrods"

Yes, because being smeared and lied about by right wing demagogues, and then having the nerve to prove that they were not telling the truth- why, that is an abomination which absolutely dwarfs five thousand lynchings.

Gateway Pundit: "EXPLOSIVE: Leftist Katie Couric Caught on Tape Mocking Sarah Palin On Day She Was Announced as Running Mate"

And? What's your point?

World Net Daily: "'It's the vote heard 'round the world' Breaking News...Missouri voters overwhelmingly reject federal mandate to purchase health insurance"

Oh yes, 'round the world. 'Round the wingnut world, anyway. I'm not sure that one more example of right wing stupidity is really going to impress them that much in, say, Nigeria or Thailand.

Well, enough already. Bye!

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