Justice Thomas Speaks

Our Nation's Esteemed Jurist, Justice Clarence Thomas, speaks, from the New York Times:

‘Today there is much focus on our rights,” Justice Thomas said. “Indeed, I think there is a proliferation of rights.”

“I am often surprised by the virtual nobility that seems to be accorded those with grievances,” he said. “Shouldn’t there at least be equal time for our Bill of Obligations and our Bill of Responsibilities?”

Justice Thomas, I am not a lawyer, let alone one of the nine people in our country charged with maintaining the integrity of our constitution. So, maybe it is more than arrogant for me to presume to put my reading of that document up against yours; however, I have at least read the constitution, something which I am beginning to suspect you have never done (try it some time- It's short, and I bet you have a copy around the office somewhere.) So here goes:

There is a section of the constitution called the "bill of rights." You may have heard of it, in the course of your struggle to see that gun companies have the right to sell any deadly piece of hardware to anyone they want. As far as I have been able to ascertain, there actually is no "bill of obligations," or "bill of responsibilities" in the United States Constitution. You know why that is? I suspect it's because the Constitution deals with what the government is supposed to do, not with what individuals are supposed to do. Maybe you never noticed that, in your eighteen years on the Supreme Court. Too close to the forest to see the trees, maybe? Or just suffering from embarrassing, humiliating stupidity?

Now, here's the thing. You know those founding fathers? Right- the ones that you and your fellow conservatives claim to respect so much? Well, I guess they had the opportunity to lard the Constitution with a "bill of obligations" or a "bill of responsibilities" if they thought that was a good idea. But, as far as my extensive historical research has led me to believe, they didn't.

So, the next time you hear one of your Republican compadres blathering away about original intent of the framers, I am counting on you to remind them that the United States Constitution actually consists of what Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas says it does, and the hell with the opinion of Jefferson, Madison, Hamilton and all those other dead guys.

Note: In the above photo, Clarence Thomas sleeps through Obama's inauguration. If we could only get him to sleep through all of his Government duties like this....