Here we go, with my helpful and well-meant comments:
"In surprisingly good English, the captive quietly answers: 'Yes, all thanks to God, I do know when the mujaheddin will, with God's permission, detonate a nuclear weapon in the United States, and I also know how many and in which cities." Startled, the CIA interrogators quickly demand more detail. Smiling his trademark shy smile, the captive says nothing. Reporting the interrogation's results to the White House, the CIA director can only shrug when the president asks: "What can we do to make Osama bin Laden talk?"
Mikey, let me just ask you this: Do you really think we should base our national foreign policy on you masturbatorial juvenile fantasies? You do? Oh right, I guess you are a Republican.
No, the worst case scenario will be when Osama announces that he is an emissary from the Rat King of Venus, come to prepare the human race for its new role as feed for the Rat King's ten million spawn. Then, you will undoubtedly be screaming that, in response, we need to spray arsenic over the entire middle east, as well as sections of Michigan and New Jersey. I want to point out that there is as much evidence for my scenario as yours.
Just as an aside, I would not describe those memos as tragicomic. I don't get the comedy. Tragic would be a sufficient adjective, in my opinion.
"It will help them recognize this episode of political theater as another major step in the bipartisan dismantling of America's defenses based on the requirements of presidential ideology. George W. Bush's democracy-spreading philosophy yielded the invasion of Iraq and set the United States at war with much of the Muslim world. "
George W. Bush's democracy-spreading philosophy? I don't even have any sarcasm up to dealing with this malicious, evil lie. Listen, Buster, it wasn't until all of Bush's other justifications for attacking Iraq were proven to be total lies, that he started raving about democracy. Can I remind you that he didn't give a God damn about democracy here at home? I guess you had forgotten that.
And by the way, the "bipartisan dismantling of America's defenses" is a lie. George W. Bush dismantled our defenses by laying waste to our military and alienating any support we might have had from other countries. I don't remember you squawking about that.
"In a breathtaking display of self-righteousness and intellectual arrogance, the president told Americans that his personal beliefs are more important than protecting their country, their homes and their families."
Look, this is such a malicious, ugly lie that it doesn't deserve comment. I can't take this any more. You can go read the rest if you want to. Virtually every line in it is a deliberate mockery of what this country is supposed to be about. These people are filled with a hatred so profound that it has rendered them oblivious to not only American values, but any shred of common human decency.
And, yes, Mr. Scheuer, Osama may be determined to do whatever he can to harm us. But he doesn't even come close to people like you in the threat he poses to our country.