Grand Jury Indicts Obama!

As I've already mentioned, this is a pretty boring day over in wingnut world, with bloggers spending most of their time congratulating themselves over the nonexistent effect of their teabag parties. Here, however, is one little nugget I've found, an instance of blathering from Renew America, which is rapidly becoming one of my favorite sources of lunacy. It is titled "Grand Jury recommends: indict Barry Soetoto, a.k.a. Barack Obama." Here's an excerpt from this scholarly analysis:

"Mr. Carl Swensson of the State of Georgia successfully organized a Common Law Grand Jury, and that Grand Jury reviewed evidence against Barry Soetoro, AKA Barack Obama, and is recommending an indictment. The U.S. Attorney, who was presented with that recommendation, has refused to discuss it by saying, "We only deal with lawyers." Something World leaders had better understand and understand well: Obama and his mentally deranged friends are not going to destroy America any more than countless other socialist fascist fanatics have tried in the past......

If World leaders want to keep their jobs and keep their nations' economies intact, they would be smart to drop Obama like a hot potato. Obama and his backers are pulling a giant scam on the rest of the World, just as they have on American voters......

Americans have wised up. It is only the major media that keeps pounding the drums of the Obama lie. Nothing Obama does will continue. Everything he does will be retracted by a very near future administration."

I see. they started their own grand jury.

In another part of the article, they had this to say:

"Most Americans, including most Judges, most prosecutors, and most lawyers think a Grand Jury is a function of the government, at the whim of the government..... However, this is constitutionally false and always has been.

Americans are educated to believe that America has three branches of government: The Judicial, The Legislative and the Executive and that is they who decide our lives. This also is false."

Yes. False on the Planet of the Monkeys, where I believe these idiots live. Or are they perhaps referring to that fourth branch of the government in which resides the Vice President, and apparently the people in charge of indicting Whoever They Damn Please.

However, for the present, I am going to accept this notion, and form a Grand Jury of my own, consisting of me and my corgi dog (It doesn't say anywhere in the constitution that corgi dogs cannot be on grand juries.)
We have now handed down an indictment on Dick Cheney (with the corgi dog abstaining) and a summary judgement (it doesn't say anywhere in the constitution that grand juries can't deliver summary judgements) condemning Dick Cheney to a slow and agonizing death by parrot bites, for the crime of being a stupid, malicious human pig.

We will be forwarding our actions to the U. S. Attorney, where we expect the same expeditious response as was received by Mr. Carl Swensson.