Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Aack, I Can't Help Myself!

I'm out of control. Who wants to hear about terrorists and burning oil platforms? I've got to write more about the most gigantic news story of the day, featuring Evangelical Christian minister and psychology professor (his poor students) George Rekers.

Here's a whole bunch more about this paragon of conservative virtue. I'm not going to link to a lot of it, because I'm too lazy, and really, who cares?

First, let's have a look at the man of the hour:

Oh wait- I'm not sure now- aah, here he is:

I'm sure you can see how I got so confused. Well, here is the fruit of the typical detailed, exhaustive research carried out by Green Eagle preparatory to subjecting some random right winger to vicious ridicule:

"George Alan Rekers (born 11 July 1948) is an American psychologist best known for his controversial views about sex and gender minorities."

"Controversial." Ha ha. The jokes write themselves.

"In 1983 Rekers was on the founding board of the Family Research Council, a non-profit Christian lobbying organization, along with James Dobson...Tony Perkins, the President of the Family Research Council spent a great deal of time rallying the troops in support of Terri Schiavo."

James Dobson and Tony Perkins. Two guys who had direct access to the Bush White House. Of course, so did Jeff Gannon. Seeing a pattern here? Oh well, let's not get sidetracked- there are so many conservative gay hookers out there. Remember Ted Haggard's buddy?

"In 1983, he and James Dobson, America's best-known homophobe, formed the Family Research Council, a D.C.-based, rabidly Christian, and vehemently anti-gay lobbying group that has become a standard-bearer of the nation's extreme right wing. Its annual Values Summit is considered a litmus test for Republican presidential hopefuls, and Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter have spoken there.

The Family Research Council would not comment about Rekers's Euro-trip."

Gee, I wonder why that might be.

"Rekers has testified in court that he believes the Bible is the infallible word of God, and that homosexuality is a sin. He authored the book Growing Up Straight: What Families should Know about Homosexuality."

Well, at least nobody can accuse him of not doing his research before presenting himself as an expert on the topic.

"Rekers practices "conversion therapy,"" the attempt to "cure" people of being gay."

How is that working out in practice, George?

Rekers replies: "The article truthfully stated that due to surgery I require assistance in lifting luggage while travelling"

Isn't that funny? Green Eagle had the same problem after surgery not too long ago. In Green Eagle's case, it never occurred to him to hire a gay prostitute to help out- he just made his wife do it. How thoughtless of him.

"This person advertises himself as "Very clean, professional, HIV and Disease FREE."

The first thing I check for in a baggage handler.

Well, don't you think it's time that we had a look at Rev. Reker's porter? Here he is, from the website "Rentboys.com," apparently the internet's answer for day laborers from the street in front of Home Depot:

Just what you expected in a guy chosen for his heavy lifting ability, huh?

A couple of Rev. Rekers' observations on Homosexuality:

"Homosexual partner relationships are significantly and substantially less stable and more short-lived on the average compared to a marriage of a man and a woman"

In this particular case, two weeks.

"Homosexual behavior is widely disapproved by the majority of the U.S. population...school-aged children
in households with a homosexual adult generally suffer...name-calling or ostracism..."

Name calling and ostracism. George, let me tell you something: Hang onto your hat- you don't know the half of it yet.

"Dr. George Rekers has been a faculty member at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine since 1985."

Teaching psychology. And we wonder why people from the South are so screwed up.

Fasten your seat belts, people. Man, are we going to be hearing a lot about this one.


M. Bouffant said...

"It's going to be a bumpy ride."

tnlib said...

SC? Hmmm. I'm sure he'll go to the mountain top and pray to Jesus and his God will forgive him. Holy, holy shit.

magpie said...

I just had a knife fighting seminar with a cool instructor from South Carolina. He wasn't screwed up at all.

Maybe he was gay.

Green Eagle said...

I bet he could carry his own luggage too.