To start, here's the dumbest fucking lie you ever heard:
Tim Dunkin, Renew America: "Robin Hood was a right-wing Republican. There's a reason the Robin Hood story — as it actually is — resonates with conservatives. It's because we know that wealth redistribution, and the ever-increasing burden of taxation upon the productive classes needed to sustain it, are inherently unjust."
There are no words in any language on this planet that can even begin to express how stupid this is, so I'll just move on, if you don't mind.
Senator Marco Rubio: "Sen. Marco Rubio on the SOTU: "The President Is on the Verge of Committing Economic Malpractice"
What would that make George W. Bush? The Charlie Manson of Economics?
Thomas Sowell, Town Hall: "This may be the golden age of presumptuous ignorance. The most recent demonstrations of that are the Occupy Wall Street mobs. It is doubtful how many of these semi-literate sloganizers could tell the difference between a stock and a bond."
But they can tell the difference between an honest man and a crook. That puts them one step ahead of you, buddy.
Erick Erickson, Red State: "Barack Obama’s State of the Union is all about letting you know that government is going to do everything for you and when it can’t keep its promises, it will take from the successful and give to you."
Late news: Erick wishes to issue a public apology. He was accidentally listening to a State Of the Union speech delivered on another planet by an alien leader.
Daniel Horowitz: "One of the most salient messages from Obama’s State of the Union Address is that he is unwilling to take responsibility for any of his failures. Instead, he took credit for successful policies that he opposed, and ascribed blame on others for failed policies that he supported."
Daniel wishes to apologize also. He was listening to a replay of a Newt Gingrich speech taking credit for Clinton's successes, all of which Newt violently opposed at the time.
Barry Rubin, Pajamas Media: "Where the 'Counter-Obama' View of the Middle East Is Right and Where It’s Wrong"
Let's make this simple for you: Where it's right-nowhere. Where it's wrong- everywhere. Unless you think it was a really brilliant idea to spend two trillion dollars on a military catastrophe of epic proportions.
Bryan Preston, Pajamas Media: "The State of the Election Address"
Oh my God- President Obama is running for re-election. Impeachment!!!!
Victor Davis Hanson: "The news media seem obsessed with the serial affairs of a younger Newt Gingrich back in the last century. At some point, does long-ago adultery earn a statute of limitations?"
Well, apparently, they are still vitally important to you when they involve Bill Clinton, a Democrat who hasn't held public office for over ten years. But anyway, if Newt could be referred to as "young" when he was about 52 years old, could you please tell us how old he was when he finally grew up? Inquiring minds want to know.
Michael Barone, Town Hall: "Unlike Obama, GOP Candidates Talk Seriously About Governing"
Are you kidding me? Obama IS governing, in case you haven't noticed and he saved the country from a Republican depression and finally rescued us from a colossal Republican military blunder, while you guys did everything you could to stop him. Smoke on that, sucka.
David P. Goldman: "Obama in Foreign Policy Hell...It won't decide the 2012 election, but the meltdown of Barack Obama's Islamophile foreign policy has to hurt. "
And when exactly did it melt down? When he got Osama Bin Laden? Or when he helped remove dictators in Egypt or Libya? Or maybe it was when he spent two trillion dollars invading the wrong country. Oh, wait a minute, that wasn't him. That was your guy. And by the way speaking of the your guy, talk about Islamophile:
Alan Caruba: "Obama has always operated in a fantasy world where mere words are supposed to translate into reality. He is, after all, his own invention: the author of two memoirs of a life that had little achievement to point to other than getting elected first to the Illinois legislature and then to the Senate where he lingered a bare two years before running for president."
Little achievement to point to other than, uh, going from a poor background to Harvard Law School, where he was an editor of the Law Review, becoming a professor of Constitutional law, getting elected to the Illinois legislature and the United States Senate before becoming President of the United States. What a pathetic resume.
Alan, one of my favorite liars, continues:
"Then there are all the vacations Obama and his family takes. They have one thing in common. They are ostentatiously expensive. Obama or Michelle always seem to be going on vacation or returning from one. The characterization may be unfair, but perception is everything."
The characterization may be unfair? Translation: I know I'm lying, but so fucking what? Who is going to stop me?
But wait! There's More:
"Americans are very keen on their military and, of all the government programs Obama could have chosen to trim, he's had the knives out for the Pentagon since he took office."
Of course, Obama actually increased the military budget. But like I said, when Alan gets to telling his lies, who is going to stop him? Believe me, there's more lying where this came from, but Alan really doesn't deserve any more of Green Eagle's attention.
Sarah Palin: "We have witnessed something very disturbing this week. The Republican establishment which fought Ronald Reagan in the 1970s and which continues to fight the grassroots Tea Party movement today has adopted the tactics of the left in using the media and the politics of personal destruction to attack an opponent. "
The politics of personal destruction- a leftist tactic. Somebody up there in Alaska has been dipping a bit too heavily into the fermented yak juice.
Mike Adams, Town Hall: "Someone once asked me whether I would abort Adolf Hitler if I knew in advance he would try to launch a Holocaust against millions of Jews. I said I would not. That is because aborting Hitler would not have prevented the Holocaust. It would have justified it."
Yes indeed, folks, abortion justifies exterminating the Jews. Of course it does. Actually, I guess anything the left does justifies mass extermination by right wingers.
Michelle Malkin, Town Hall: "First, They Came for the Catholics...President Obama and his radical feminist enforcers have had it in for Catholic medical providers from the get-go. It's about time all people of faith fought back against this unprecedented encroachment on religious liberty. First, they came for the Catholics. Who's next?"
Michelle, I think the quote was "first they came for the Jews." And that time they killed them, not forced them to provide decent medical care to everyone. "This unprecedented encroachment on religious liberty" indeed. Really, I think killing people was worse. Think about it.
Mark Calabria, Town Hall: "I have to wonder if Obama even has the slightest clue what he is talking about. As someone who’d like to see government come to a halt, let me assure you, it isn't. "
Huh? Has this guy been taking grammar lessons from Sarah Palin?
Paul Kregor, Town Hall: "The Obama Mandate to Catholics: "To Hell With You?"
The Catholic Mandate to Little Boys: Bend Over in the Shower. Seriously, how can anyone be so vile and callous as to give a God damn what the Catholic Church has to say about anything. What next, will Republicans be screaming about things that interfere with the "rights" of heroin dealers?"
Gateway Pundit: "Congressman Issa On Obama Green Job Failure: “We Would Have Done Better Throwing The Money Out A Window”
I wonder how Congressman Issa feels about the Bush Iraq failure thing. If we'd just thrown the two trillion out the window, at least we wouldn't have five thousand dead soldiers.
Allen West, Town Hall: "The Days of Conservatives Being Punching Bags Are Over"
Luckily for Green Eagle, the days of them being brain-dead assholes are still here.
See you soon.