Jill Philipovic, New York Times: "Why Men Want to Marry Melanias and Raise Ivankas"
Because they have big tits? I mean really, Jill, why do you think?
"The Republican Party has long praised traditional family values and intrinsic differences between men and women, while Democrats emphasize egalitarianism and expanding opportunities for women and girls."
Family values- a rich guy dumping his second wife to take up with a foreign model. Yup, family values. Thank you, New York Times, for explaining this to us. I'll go back to my explanation, Jill: It's about the big tits. Deal with it.
Guy Benson, Town Hall: "Hillary Can't Stop Lying About Her Email Scandal"
"Lying," being Republican code language for "Democrat telling the truth." The "e-mail scandal" now being reduced to two e-mails, both of which were pro forma responses from the Secretary of State, and neither one of which was either marked as classified, or contained a shred of secret information.
Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall: "GOP Senator Disagrees With RNC’s Prison Sentence for Hillary, Gets Praised by Her Team"
Because nothing is lower to a Conservative than being praised by a Democrat, particularly when it's for telling the truth.
And now, once again, it's Republican Humor time:
Well, two can play at that game:
Kurt Schlichter, Town Hall: "Obama Is Too Incompetent To Pull Off A Coup... Turkey’s failed coup, combined with the disastrous disunity and polarization in the United States thanks to Barack Obama, have gotten people talking about whether it could happen here. So, could Barack Obama pull off a coup to keep himself in power rather than turn over the keys to the Oval Office?"
Whatever. Evil supergenius or incompetent boob, you decide. Or maybe both at once. Care for a little more?
"At the outset, what makes you think he would suddenly become competent enough to pull off that kind of sophisticated scheme, especially with him leading from behind the wheel of the Ivy League clown car that is his administration? These twits can’t even beat a bunch of Bedouin banditos sitting out in the open in the middle of a desert."
Now ISIS is a bunch of Bedouin Banditos. And here, I thought they were Supernazis about to start World War III, with a billion howling Muslims at their backs. And notice that it's now the Democrats in the clown car. Isn't that cute? And let's also have a word from Kurt about the Republicans' successor to Obama:
"Gracious as always, Trump’s victory speech promises that Attorney General Chris Christie’s first job will be to investigate and prosecute Pantsuit von Pervenabler and President Faily McWorsethanCarter."
Trump graciously promises to throw the current President and Trump's electoral opponent into prison. Gee, that's nice. Anyway, take a look at that cartoon again.
Man, things are getting uglier by the day. And if you think Republicans are immune from the witch hunt:
Alan Keyes, Barb Wire: "SHOULD ANTI-TRUMP GOP CONVENTION DELEGATES BE EXECUTED FOR TREASON?"
Maybe, maybe not. Why not leave it to Trump to decide?
Streiff, Red State: "SURPRISE. Trump Campaign Admits Plagiarism In Melania Trump’s Speech"
Well, it's always a surprise when a Republican tells the truth.
Ulysses Arn, Red State: "Donald Trump’s Nomination Is A Farce And A Sham"
Yeah, but he's your farce and sham. You built it, you own it.
Tom Knighton, PJ Media: "Cleveland College Students 'Traumatized' by RNC Cops Staying in Their Dorms...Crybullies claim campus minorities have lost their "safe space."
Call me old fashioned, but I seem to remember something that went pretty much like this: "No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner..." I guess technically, a dorm room is not a house, and a policeman is not (officially) a soldier, but still...
Tyler O'Neil, PJ Media: "Chris Christie Prosecutes Hillary Clinton on the RNC Floor"
Hate to break it to you, Tyler, but a speech full of lies in front of a howling mob is not a prosecution in this country. Yet.
Robert Spencer, PJ Media: "Not Just the Saudis: Iran's Huge Role in 9/11 Also Covered Up"
Perhaps because Iran's huge role in 9/11 was exactly nothing. Anyone who really thinks Iran would collaborate with the Saudis on a thing like this, let alone anything at all, is a lunatic. But Robert Spencer, who makes a living smearing Iran, says otherwise. By the way, apparently Obama was in on it too, and the Iran nuclear deal last year was payback for Iran's role in 9/11, which was a great thing, according to Obama.
I particularly liked this:
"Imad Mughniyah, the most notable and notorious world terrorist of his time, an agent of Iran and a senior operative of Hizballah, facilitated the international travel of certain 9/11 hijackers to and from Iran, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, and Afghanistan, and perhaps various other locations for the purpose of executing the events of September 11, 2001."
"the most notable and notorious world terrorist of his time," despite the fact that no one has ever heard of him.
Aleister, Gateway Pundit: "SHOCKER: Obama Won’t Punish Possible Hillary VP Pick Castro For Violating Federal Law"
His massive violation of federal law? He endorsed Hillary. Don't worry though- after Trump is elected, criminals like this will be arrested immediately. The Republican rewriting of article 3 of the Constitution will henceforth be as follows: "Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort, or endorsing a Democrat for any office." I mean, that's what the founding fathers intended, isn't it? Really, if endorsing a Democrat doesn't count as giving aid and comfort to our enemies, what would? From the benediction at the beginning of this year's Republican convention:
"And Republicans, we got to be united because our enemy is not other Republicans — but is Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party."
Okay, I guess that's clear now.
Aleister, Gateway Pundit: "REPORT: As President, Donald Trump Could Purge U.S. Government Of Obama Appointees"
Remember when, if you heard the word "purge," the first thing you would think of was Stalin?
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Following Failed Coup Erdogan Fires 21,000 Teachers, 1,500 University Deans and Detains 9,000 Soldiers"
The horror. See the item immediately above this one, if you've forgotten it already.
Rev. Austin Miles, Renew America: "Following jihadist attack on Riviera, Obama extends welcome to Muslims--WHAT?"
Yeah, Reverend, I know, it is totally beyond your comprehension that an American President could act like a decent human being. And by the way, the guy was a 31 year old street criminal who was mad at his wife, and who had absolutely no connection to Islamist groups. As if you didn't already know that, when you told this lie.
Stanley Zir, Renew America: "No candidate can stop Iran in time, only "we the people" can"
In time? In time for what, lunch? Because if it's not over by lunch, I'n not joining in. By the way, "we the people" can't even stop people from going into whatever bathroom they want. I wonder how, exactly, Stanley proposes to stop a country with a powerful army, half way around the world.
Linda Harvey, World Net Daily: "Witch doctor jihad on little girls"
This was an interesting article which made the case for the notion that sending your daughter to a Planned Parenthood clinic is exactly the same as forcing her to go through genital mutilation. Hey, makes sense, right?
John Dietrich, American Thinker: "Hollywood Rubs Raw the Sores of Racial Discontent...Louis Farrakhan after watching Django Unchained stated, "It’s preparation for a race war.”
They're so desperate for someone that agrees with them, that they've befriended Louis Farrakhan now.
Thomas Lifson, American Thinker: "Hillary’s cough is back"
Get over it, Thomas. Thomas says it is forbidden to mention that. I expect to hear any day now that he has disappeared without a trace for doing so.
Betsey Rothstein, Daily Caller: "Our Long National Nightmare Is Over: Melania Speechwriter Speaks Out"
Nightmare? I'd say more like laughing fit. And sorry, Betsey, it ain't over until we stop laughing.
Steve Guest: "Retired Marine Calls For Accountability For Hillary: 'Jail Or Firing Squad'
Justice, Republican style.
Don Boys, Barb Wire: "IF MELANIA TRUMP IS A PLAGIARIST, WHAT WAS MARTIN LUTHER KING?"
He was a national hero who fought and gave his life to get justice for his people, not a two bit tramp who made a living off of her looks before getting a billionaire to dump his older wife and marry her.
Matt Vespa, Town Hall: "RNC Communications Director: Yeah, I Agree That Ted Cruz Is an A**hole"
Who doesn't? Of course, what Republican isn't?
Larry Elder, Town Hall: "Hillary Lies, Cops Die"
Fuck you, Larry. What other kind of answer do you think you deserve?
Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall: "GOP Rep Slams Ted Cruz: What He Did Exposes Him as a 'Total Fraud'
Hmm. Funny, I thought you were a fraud when you said things you didn't mean, not when you said what you do mean. I guess "fraud" in Republican speak means you were honest for once.
Brandon Morse, Red State: "Meanwhile, Rand Paul Is Curing the Blind"
When he raises the dead, get back to us.
Phyllis Schlafly, world's oldest hatemonger: "“Our greatest presidents have all been men,”
Yeah, Phyllis, but our worst Presidents have all been men too. That's a fact too. And yes, she really said that.
And now, how about a little "both sides do it"
Brent Bozell, Town Hall: "Dear Washington Post ranters: There's nothing "unprecedented" about calling your opponents criminals or wanting them dead. Liberals have excelled at that rhetoric forever."
Particularly in relation to the George W. Bush administration, apparently. Bush and Cheney conducted a criminal war of aggression in which a million people were killed. Hillary sent two e-mails. A little bit of difference there, Brent, whether you can tell that or not.
Michael Barone, Town Hall: "Is America Ready for a Disruptive President? Disruptive. That's a good word to describe Donald Trump's presidential candidacy...Apple disrupted the music industry; Uber disrupted the taxi cartels; Amazon disrupted the mega-bookstores. Global competition has been disrupting American manufacturing for decades."
See? Starting World War III is just like inventing the I-pad.
Kyle Foley, Red State: "The Era of Trump Has Killed Conservative Integrity"
Ha ha ha ha. Conservative integrity. Ha Ha.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "How Sad… Ted Cruz, Hillary Clinton, Leftists and NeverTrumpers Adopt Same Message for America"
What same message? That Donald Trump is a sick, violent lunatic who doesn't belong near government on any level? The sad thing is that it took this to get Ted Cruz and Hillary on the same side for once.
Patrice Lewis, World Net Daily: "About a year and a half ago, I got a new laptop. It was something of a struggle to find one that wasn’t pre-loaded with Windows 10, but we succeeded. And the first thing I did – almost literally, the first thing – was to put a double piece of tape over the tiny webcam built into the machine. Call me paranoid, but the thought of having an electronic eye focused on me is just creepy. Nor do we own smart phones. How many millions – or is it billions by now? – of people are walking around with personal GPS trackers in their pockets, leaving cyber trails everywhere they go?"
I would be very concerned, Patrice, that the Feds have implanted tracking chips in the tinfoil that you wrap around your head.
Aaron Klein, Breitbart: "EXCLUSIVE – Alex Jones on Ailes: They’re Coming Next for Drudge, InfoWars, Breitbart"
What, did they sexually harrass women too? They are right wingers, so it's a pretty good bet.
Kevin Daley, Daily Caller: "Sessions: Sotomayor May Not Be Religious Enough To Be SCOTUS Justice"
Apparently, neither Kevin nor Senator Sessions ever heard this: " no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States." I guess because it isn't in the second amendment, it just doesn't count.
And you know what? I'm pulling the plug on this post right now. Enough is enough, or in Green Eagle's case, too much is enough. See you soon with a new heap of offensive trash.