A Cornucopia of Excuses for Melania

And I mean it is stunning.  As you undoubtedly know by now, Melania Trump, for a reason which we will probably never understand, plagiarized, of all people, Michelle Obama in her speech to the republican convention.  Well, I thought it would be amusing to see what sort of tortured reason wingnuts would come up with, to make this colossal humiliation disappear.  I must say, I was pretty stunned by the sheer variety of their rationalizations, a sample of which I want to share with you:

All the reasons Lying Trump's lying wife's plagiarism doesn't count, courtesy of a cursory trip around the wingnuttosphere:

It didn't even really happen:

"Those lines do not belong to Mooch. They are lines from other famous speeches."

"Actually the paragraph has been in use since 1748 in English Literature."

"I believe the words that were supposedly plagiarized were not copywritten"

"You can't "plagiarize" from the common lexicon.  The 'mooose's' "speech" wasn't copyrighted and used common 'language'.

"Melania Trump delivered a powerful and flawless speech last night at the Republican National Convention"

It was nothing:

"Be real...should this even be todays topic?"

"But my point is Michelle gave the same speech as many others before her to no outcry of foul! No biggie just a bunch of chumps crying in their corn flakes this morning, waste of time."

"She spoke her heart. There are only so many words in the English language. Who cares who said them 1st? In this case they apply."

"Do the political swells so concerned with this “scandal” really think that anyone’s vote would be swayed by whether Melania voiced the same bromides as Michelle?"

It wasn't plagiarism, as far as I am concerned:

"Words that are "basically the same" (your own words) are not plagiarized."

I Blame Obama:

"Things like this didn't need to be said until the Obamas wrecked the country"

"When Michelle said it, it wasn't really needed. The children and their futures didn't seem so bleak. But now, after Obama and coming from her these words are more fitting. Or, we can all act our age and realize how it don't matter."

I blame Michelle:

"What they are doing is worshiping at the feet of Michelle Obama by tell you that her speech in 2008 was so perfect Melania Trump had to plagiarize her because Melania Trump is not both smart and beautiful."

It was okay because even though the words came from a Michelle speech, they were so much better when Melania said them:

"...the truth is, the sentiment behind those 2 similar lines sounded more sincere coming from Melania than when Mooch uttered them."

"Michelle might have used similar words, but like everything else she, Obama, and the liberals say, they were just lies designed to match what they believed the voters wanted to hear."

 "MELANIA said what she means, and means what she says."

"The Wookie didn't believe or mean a word of what she said. That is a glaring difference!"

Melania actually did the world a service by plagiarizing Michelle:

"Melania Trump Strikes a Blow to Outdated Seventies Feminism"

The Clintons are crooked!  Look over here!

"As it has been well documented the Clinton political crime family played this slimy card before during the 2008 primary season against Obama and back then it was treated as nothing more than a political attack by the same media outlets that are feigning their "outrage" today. It didn't work then and it will not work this time either."

"Merely Clinton wildly slinging poop at Melania in a fit of rage."

Melania is so hot that she gets to do anything:

"The left is so jealous of the real beauty of this woman they can't stand themselves and their monster is showing."

"Ludicrous to believe that Trump's beautiful wife would need to steal parts of a speech from Michael 0bama."

Melania loves this country and Michelle doesn't so Melania is allowed to steal Michelle's words:

"Melania has always loved this country. . .unlike the mooch." 

"As potential First Lady, she stands taller and far more genuine and with less of a dark history than the other notable female in this election."

"Barack and Michelle are so dumb that it is impossible to steal from them:"

"This is pretty rich considering the fact that neither Barack nor Michelle have had an original thought in the years that we have been forced to know them."

Michelle, uh, I mean Munchelle, stole it first:

"What I hear is Munchelle stole that speech of hers from Saul Alinsky."

Pay no attention to this because Obama is about to close down the election and stay in the White House:

"I hate to burst everyones bubble, but if O isn't put on the stand through impeachment proceedings, and I mean like yesterday, then there's about a 70-85% chance, depending on how you calculate it, that there won't be an election...This must be addressed. If people are too scared to outright call him a treasonous traitor, and inciter of violence, towards whites, and especially police, then they can simply say the Resident has shown a lack of capacity to recognize a "clear and present danger to the United States of America" and thus must be removed from office, on the grounds of "mental instability"."

Michelle is not even a human being, but an animal, and everybody knows you can't plagiarize from an animal:

"Why is it that Moooochelle Obama is never seen visiting any of our Country's Zoos ?  Hmmmmmm ..... Oh, oh, I know ! ...... Riots at the "Primate Bldg." are hard to control !"

It's okay to plagiarize Michelle because she lives in the White House, at the expense of American taxpayers, which is an outrage even if she is the first lady:

"Michelle Obama is embarrassed to be an American. But, it hasn't stopped her from living off the backs of the American taxpayers"

This is a cynical plot by the left, which knew in advance that Melania was going to plagiarize Michelle, so whatever happened, Melania is innocent.

"Such contrived nonsense. The Left had this response PRE-PLANNED and ready! Their talking points were written before Melania even took the stage!"

Let's just kill the messenger:

"CNN: The Clinton Negro Network"

Everybody does it:

"The content of these two paragraphs are de rigueur in political speeches."

Pretty stunning, huh?  I've always said that one of the most persistent characteristics of right wingers is their inability to admit anything wrong they ever do.  This is a classic example, and a great specimen of "Bobby took the cookies, not me" reasoning, which has proven so useful to Conservatives.