Today's Wingnut Wrapup dedicated to Rudy "Mister 9-11" Giuliani, for having the unmitigated gall to say this:
"Under those eight years, before Obama came along, we didn't have any successful radical Islamic terrorist attack in the United States. They all started when Clinton and Obama got into office."
Rudy, you've been milking the World Trade Center bombing ever since it happened, but now, suddenly, you've forgotten that it ever happened? Talk about having no shame. Rudy is now claiming that the press has misinterpreted what he said, which was just "shorthand." Hey, another new Republican euphemism for lying.
And also, a special shoutout to Donald Trump, who fired his latest campaign manager, who was caught taking $12.7 million from the Russians for, well, who knows what, and replaced him with someone who will undoubtedly be able to reach out successfully to independent voters- the head of Breitbart news, a source of a constant stream of piggish smears and lies featured here at Wingnut Wrapup. Big mistake, Donald- if that is the direction you are going in, why did you not go whole hog, and hire Jim Hoft?
And can we forget this classic Republican?
"U.S. Representative Martha Roby, a Republican from Alabama’s 2d Congressional District has introduced H.R. 1406, officially named the “Working Families Flexibility Act of 2013” which would END the requirement of the Fair Labor Standards Act for employers to pay Time-and-a-Half to employees for every hour worked over 40 in one week."
Well, no sense obsessing on that. On we go.
Guy Benson, Town Hall: "Report: Major Federal Investigation into Clinton Foundation Underway"
Oh my God, they've got her now! Well, reading about this "investigation" a little further, you might learn this:
"First, the substance of the report rests on the assertions of a single source -- who goes unnamed, and who is vaguely identified as a "former senior law enforcement official." Journalistically, this is very thin. Second, the piece's central claim appears to fly in the face of CNN's very recent reporting that the Justice Department had shot down requests from three FBI field offices to open a probe into the Clinton Foundation"
But of course, that is not a reason for Conservatives to hold back on this story, is it? And the worse Trump does, as we all know damned well, the more vicious the lies about Hillary are going to get. Anyway, it was a nice opportunity to repeat all of the long-disproven Republican smears about the Clinton foundation one more time, confident that they are speaking to people who don't know the first thing about the Clinton foundation, and are slavering to lap up more disgusting crap about Hillary.
Katie Kieffer, Town Hall: "Standing Ovation: Trump’s Economic Plan"
Which, at this point consists of the following totally original ideas: cut taxes on the rich, do away with corporate income taxes, kill the estate tax, eliminate regulations that do nothing but protect Americans from the rich, and...well, you get it- the same corrupt Repubican bullshit that they have been shoveling down our throats for a hundred years now.
And now, another little dose of projection:
Ilana Mercer, Town Hall: "The Clinton Media have gone from malfunctioning to mad, from “dishonest” to deranged. Their coverage of the 2016 election is no longer tinged by liberal bias, but is about moving viewers and readers into a parallel universe, an alternate reality of the media’s making."
It's hard to even make a joke about delusion on that magnitude. Of course, it isn't really delusion, it's just the work of a paid liar.
Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall: "Manafort Accuses Never Trumpers of Being Tied to Clinton Foundation"
This would be the same Manafort, I'm guessing, who is "tied" to the Russians, via a $12 million dollar payout to him that we just learned about a couple of days ago.
Christopher Malagisi, Town Hall: "What is Conservatism? Author Interview with Jonah Goldberg"
Jonah Goldberg? You sure you might not learn more by interviewing him on "What is Stupidity?" or maybe "My Mom's Betrayal of the Country Earned Me a Place for Life at the Conservative Hog Trough."
Roger L. Simon, PJ Media: "Donald Trump Should Go for the Black Vote—NOW!"
Why doesn't he go for the wolverine vote too? I mean, he's got just about as much chance there as he does with blacks. And I bet a lot of those wolverines vote ten times, too.
Washington Examiner: "Trump earns 'outsider' status receives fewest Capitol Hill donations in last 24 years"
The leaders of his own party turn on him- see, it's a good thing.
Joseph Farah, World Net Daily: "Ultimate rigging: Has Obama found a way to STAY in office?"
No, Joseph, he hasn't. But we'll let you know if he changes his mind.
William Levinson, American Thinker: "Donald Trump Against the Decline and Fall"
Right. No decline for Trump. He just wants to get the whole thing over in a day, with a nuclear war.
Thomas Lifson, American Thinker: "Marion Barry’s son Christopher dies of drug overdose...A family tree poisoned by leftist ideology."
No, Thomas, it's a family tree poisoned by drugs. Not quite the same thing, but thanks for trying.
Newsmax: "Conservatives Push for Paid Family Leave"
That'll be the day.
Mark Swanson, Newsmax: "Rep. Steve King: Too Late for Trump to Release Tax Returns...Iowa Rep. Steve King on Monday said "the window has passed" for Donald Trump to release his tax returns, and he clarified comments he made last week about being able to work with Hillary Clinton."
It's too late! That's his story and he's sticking to it!
"If he were going to do that he should have done that some months ago so that there was time to digest it," King said on Morning Joe."
Oh, I see, Steve. Two months isn't enough time to "digest" Trump's tax returns. Okay then, let's just forget the whole thing. God, just when you thought the Republicans couldn't come up with anything more stupid and disingenuous, they surprise you.
Newsmax: "Larry Kudlow: Hillary Will Only Repeat Obama's Economic Failures"
Failures like generating over ten million jobs, giving 20 million people health insurance, tripling the Dow, cutting the deficit by two thirds, cutting the unemployment rate in half. Man, if Hillary is going to fail like that, I guess we understand why Republicans are against it.
Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall: "Congress Responds to Obama Releasing Largest Group of 'Hardened Terrorists' Yet"
That would be some poor saps in Guantanamo who the government has held in prison for a decade and a half without ever uncovering a single thing to charge them with. Remember this forgotten saying:
"In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial"
Which has been apparently deleted from the Constitution to make room for more talk about guns.
Dennis Prager, Town Hall: "Why Do People Still Donate to Universities?"
Maybe because they do not worship lies the way you do, Dennis.
Katie Pavlich, Town Hall: "Trump Vows to Banish Islamic Extremism"
Man, I can't wait to see how that is going to work.
Justin Holcomb, Town Hall: "3 Out of 5 Texans Choose Secession if Clinton is Elected"
Bye! Somehow, the article missed this part of PPP's survey:
"Trump Leads By Only 6 in Texas "
Mitt Romney took Texas by 16 in 2012.
Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall: "Watch: New Hampshire Governor Won't Answer Whether Hillary Is Honest Three Times in a Row"
If she was honest once in a row, it would beat Trump.
Roger Simon, PJ Media: "Game Changer? Trump Makes a Play for the Black Vote"
Knock yourself out, Donald. Maybe you will go from 0% black support to 1%. There must be a few really stupid black people out there.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: New Photos=> Poor Hillary Propped Up by Pillows"
And here it is:
Man, that certainly disqualifies her from being President.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Professor Norpoth: Trump Has 87% of Winning November Election"
Ah, Professor Norproth. Professor NORPROTH! That changes everything.
Peter Lemiska, Renew America: "Conservatives caught on the horns of a dilemma"
Yeah, between throwing their principles in the garbage one more time in the hopes of taking back control of the country, or just giving up and facing reality. Sorry, guys, sometimes you just have to make the tough choices.
And now, from a source that we can count on to bring you the truth that others cannot face:
World Net Daily: "U.S. ALARM: 'UNPRECEDENTED DEMONIC OUTPOURING'...'I believe God is done with our once-great country'
Lloyd Marcus, American Thinker: "I have seen numerous lower third graphics on CNN purposed to portray Trump as a racist and a nut case (standard Leftist tactics to silence and destroy)."
The usual disgraceful left wing tactic, telling the truth. How could they have ever have stooped to such a thing? More from Lloyd:
"The other night at my gym, the CNN lower graphic read, “Breaking News: Confederate Flag at Trump Rally Tonight”. Do you see what CNN was attempting to do?"
Yeah, I see it. They were attempting to show someone displaying a Confederate flag at a Trump rally. The bastards.
"Leftists do not care if they stir up racial hate as long as it generates enough racial division and fear to cause duped voters to vote for Democrats."
Republicans would never stoop to that.
"Patriots, we must carry Trump to victory. "
Well, he sure aint gettin' there on his own.
James DeLong, American Thinker: "Let's Assume Trump Is Shrewd and Disciplined, Principled and Patriotic"
Sure...uh, what? How stupid do you think we are?
And now, a looming new crisis facing the country:
Leonard Bakker, American Thinker: "The ancient paradigm of USA versus the Russians was still with me as I evaluated the competition, but with an intriguing twist. Unlike the old stereotype, one couldn’t help but notice that several of the Russian female athletes were stunningly beautiful, significantly more so than their American counterparts: a random Google search of two such athletes, Yulia Efimova and Darya Klishina, showcased their beauty in very classy and traditionally feminine romantic portraits. I noticed no such comparable efforts for the Americans...So the question is: has feminism seeped sufficiently into the soul and substance of American women as to tip the balance of feminine beauty toward the now more traditionally oriented Russians? And is this not more important to the long-term survival of our nation than the erstwhile “missile gap” of the Cold War?"
God, I wish I could tell you that this was a joke, and that I had written it just to screw with you. But no, it's real. Hot women- the most important part of our foreign policy.
Katie Pavlich, Town Hall: " Ransom: Once Americans Were 'Wheels Up' $400 Million Was Sent to Iran"
It's their money, dimwit. If we kept it, we would have stolen it. I guess that's okay with Republicans.
Jay Caruso, Red State: "Eric Bolling Dismisses Polling Data Citing Trump Crowds; Dana Perino Incredulous"
Well, Trump himself has been claiming this. Let me tell you something, Jay: If the Rolling Stones announced a free concert somewhere in the United States tomorrow, 500,000 people would turn up. And that does not mean that they want Keith to be President. I mean, Green Eagle does, but then, Green Eagle wants to change the national anthem to "Midnight Rambler."
Leon H. Wolf, Red State: "Former Incompetent RNC Chair Michael Steele Says the Breitbart-ization of Trump’s Campaign Will be “Magical”
Magical? You mean, maybe like Voldemort? And while we are on the subject, Leon, let me remind you that under "incompetent" Michael Steele, Republicans used to win elections. Not so much under that Reince guy. So, I kind of wonder what it was about Michael Steele that led you guys to fire him. Ha ha, just kidding, we all know the answer to that one.
And now, a total proof that they've got nothing:
Elise Cooper, American Thinker: "Dogs Turn Paws Down on Hillary...Hillary and animals just don't get along"
And none of them is going to vote for her. That's how Trump plans to win.
Thomas Lifson, American Thinker: "Green Party nominee Jill Stein ‘will have trouble sleeping if Hillary Clinton is elected’"
Try oxy, Jill.
Eric Owens, Daily Caller: "Farmers’ Almanac Crushes Dreams Of Global Warming Zealots With ‘ICE COLD WINTER’ Forecast"
Thousands of climate scientists with decades of actual research, versus the Farmer's Almanac. Man, who are you going to trust?
"The “amazingly accurate” long-range forecast — starting on page 65 — covers September 2016 through December 2017. It prognosticates “exceptionally cold conditions” for several regions of the United States including the Midwest, the Great Lakes and Middle Atlantic regions, the Ohio Valley, and the entire Northeast."
How the hell do you know the forecast is "amazingly accurate," when it hasn't happened yet? Oh wait, don't tell me. I can't take it.
In fact, I can't take any more of this today. 'Bye until later.