Thursday, July 21, 2011

Wingnut Wrapup

Let's just start out with a little Glenn Beck:

"Beck is promising that (his upcoming Jerusalem) rally will be a "life-changing, life-altering event" that could "change the direction of the world" and open up "the very gates of Heaven."

Glenn Beck is going to open up the gates of heaven...Don't put too much money on that one, Glenn.  You know you just lost your main job- not a time to be gambling.

And now on to Jim Hoft, who wins the trifecta today, as only he can do, since we retired Pammy Geller:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "NBC Host Ann Curry Asks Commie Dalai Lama to Advise Obama on ‘Fierce Struggle’ With Republicans ...Her question should have been, “Your commie Holiness, how do you deal with a big talker with no plan?”

"Commie" Dalai Lama.  Isn't that sort of like calling Churchill a Nazi?  Isn't that sort of like calling Michelle Bachmann a brain-dead lunatic?  Oh, wait...Michelle Obama is a brain-dead lunatic.  Why do you think she leaked the migraine thing- she wants to fool us into thinking she has a brain.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Terrific!… FOX News Now Includes Commie Panelists On Saturday Morning Business Shows "

Back to those pesky Commies.  And this time on Fox News!  They're everywhere!  Jim, I hate to break this to you, but the last time anyone took seriously someone using the word "commie" was in 1958.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "The Sarah Palin documentary “The Undefeated” had a huge opening day. They sold out from Atlanta to Orange County.  Victory Film Group announced “The Undefeated” will roll out to additional AMC theatres this week."

"Huge" equaling $70,000.  That puts it down there vying with The Pickle for the lowest grossing movie of all time.  Well, at least Jim is telling the truth about The Undefeated rolling out to additional AMC theatres this week- four of them, in addition to the ten already showing it.  By my calculation, that will get it up to Harry Potter's 4,375 screens right around the first week of July, 2032.  Feel that momentum building!

Erick Erickson, Red State:  "In fact, the Palin film is dazzling people by just how well a film of its type is doing"

How well it's doing?  What, the fact that anyone allowed themselves to be suckered out of $10.00 to be force fed two hours of propaganda about the most asinine political figure in decades?  Well, Erick, you may have a point there.  Ten people watching this movie in a church basement is pretty amazing when you think about it.

Town Hall:  "Bogus CBS Poll Parrots Democrat Party Line... Deeply Flawed CBS Poll Says 71 Percent of Voters Disapprove of GOP's Handling of Debt Negotiations "

 "Deeply flawed" meaning not agreeing with Sarah Palin.

Bob Owens, Confederate Yankee:  ""Watergate with a Body Count" Continues to Fall Apart For the Obama Administration...I have two Gunwalker articles posted at Pajamas Media at the moment, and two more in the wings."

Bob had 11 posts today at his own blog, as well as five at other sites.  Despite Bob's heroic effort, the only sense in which this "scandal" is falling apart is that it can't get attention from anyone who is not certifiably insane.  Still, Bob, "A" for effort.  I haven't seen this kind of dedication since Joseph Farah first got upset about Obama's birth certificate.

World Net Daily:  "DOT road sign flashes: 'Impeach Obama'

Someone hacked into a highway construction sign, and World Net Daily (as well as a number of other right wing sites I follow) thinks it's an event worthy of national news.  Not much to crow about these days, huh, fellows?  Well, look on the bright side.  Maybe a few dozen more people will go to see the Sarah Palin movie this weekend, so you will have the material for another hundred or so posts.

James Lewis, American Thinker:  "Sarah Palin's Grace Under Pressure"

The pressure of earning $12 million a year selling out your country?  Don't try to kid me.  That would stress out a lot of people, but not Sarah.  She's built of tougher stuff that that.  Particularly when a little thing like a conscience is all that  stands between her and a buck.

Astute Bloggers:  "Two-thirds of Obama campaign cash from small donors, huh? Yeah, I believe that"

O Astute Ones, you would be very surprised, I expect, at how little we care what you believe, given your .000 batting average in that regard.  Still, you have been good for Green Eagle, so keep at it, please.

Big Government:  "Blocking oil companies’ ability to benefit from two key tax relief provisions could drive up the deficit and the national debt, according to a study released Tuesday by Louisiana State University professor Dr. Jospeh R. Mason"

 Well, that's really interesting.  You know what suckers we liberals are for studies released by professors, even ones from Louisiana.  Let's read further and see what else we can learn:

"The study, sponsored by the American Energy Alliance......"

Wait just a minute...the American Energy Alliance.  I'm sure they are a progressive organization, dedicated to our welfare, right?  Let's check out who they are, so we can truly appreciate their wisdom:

"The American Energy Alliance (AEA) was founded in 2008 by Thomas Pyle, who previously lobbied on behalf of the National Petrochemical and Refiners Association and Koch Industries and who previously worked for Congressman Tom Delay (R-TX), when Delay served as Whip and before Delay, as House Majority Leader, stepped down from the U.S. House of Representatives under an ethical cloud.

AEA's allied organization, the Institute for Energy Research, is also led by Thomas Pyle.[5] IER received $95,000 from ExxonMobil in 2007 and $65,000 the year before, but the organization has said that ExxonMobil is no longer a funder.  IER has also received donations from the Brown Foundation, which was started by the founders of the construction and energy company Brown & Root  (That would be Halliburton, in case you have forgotten- GE;) the Searle Freedom Trust, funded by the late conservative philanthropist Daniel Searle; and the Claude R. Lambe Charitable Foundation, which is run by executives of Koch Industries, a major company in the petroleum refining industry and one of the main funders of Americans for Prosperity. According to NPR, Wayne Gable, who lobbied for Koch Industries along with Pyle, is on the board of both IER and AEA.[8] IER has been active in questioning global warming, suggesting that Al Gore and others are "climate alarmists," and acting as a climate skeptic while defending climate deniers...The New Mexico Independent noted that "Information on the group is hard to come by. There are no online Federal Energy Regulatory Commission filings, no Internal Revenue Service filings and no way to contact the group."

Well, that certainly reassured me about this organization's trustworthiness.  Who could know more about whether oil companies should have to pay taxes?

Big Government:  "The Left's Assault on Investment Will Bring Down Our Economy"

Too late.  The right's assault on our economy under Bush already brought down our economy.

Cold Fury:  "It’s NOT the religion, stupid-Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain is being accused by the Center on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) of ‘bigotry’ after stating that American communities had the right to ban mosques."

Of COURSE it's not the religion.  Everybody knows that Herman Cain only wants to ban mosques because they are infected with bedbugs.   Why, Herman Cain is a Republican.  How could you ever think he would consciously exploit people's bigotry?

Well, it's been a long time since we checked in with our friend Henry Makow, who has enlightened us so much in the past:

Henry Makow:  "What if Barack Obama is the most successful suicide bomber of them all,  a political suicide bomber?  A man who reached the highest office in the world for the sole purpose of ensuring our demise as a nation."

Yeah...what if?  What if Barack Obama is really a pirate like that Jack Sparrow guy?  What if he reached the highest office in the world for the sole purpose of stealing our gold doubloons? 

And while our minds are on Henry, let's pay a visit to our number one expert on guillotines:

Pam Schuffert, American Holocaust:  "I recently met with a Christian trucker at a local Christian church near Kalispell, MT. This person overheard my discussion in that church a few Sundays ago about coming martial law and preparations being made in MONTANA.

He took me aside and told me the following: "The truckers are all abuzz in BILLINGS, MONTANA. Truckloads of the MODERN MILITARY GUILLOTINES are being shipped BY TRUCK into BILLINGS now..."

And don't forget, these are MODERN military guillotines!  Not the old kind.  You can operate these ones with your I-phone.

Hassan Nurullah, Renew America:  "We told you so!"

And so you did.  Luckily, like everything you guys tell us, it wasn't so.  We dodged another bullet, I guess- an imaginary bullet.  And by the way, just in case you were wondering, Renew America informs us:

"(Hassan's) views are conservative and strongly influenced by an unapologetic Christian world view." 

Wouldn't want anyone to worry that Renew America was filling us up with crackpot Muslim nonsense, would we?

Well, enough crackpot nonsense for one day, huh?  'Bye.

No comments: