Wingnut Wrapup

Well, it took them a few days, but here's some idiocy from the right. I think they're too busy celebrating their great victory in denying health care to millions of Americans, to put a lot of effort into broadcasting their lunacy.

Town Hall: "Iran to try 3 Americans who crossed Iraqi border"

I hope they are not going to try them in a civilian court, or else millions of Iranians will be killed by terrorists, right?

Confederate Yankee: "Obama Dithers. Will the Middle East Burn?"

Not as much as it did under you-know-who, Mr. Yankee.

Pammy Geller, Atlas Shrugs: "Queen Elizabeth banned from making state visit to Israel, says historian- The eminent historian Andrew Roberts has said that the British government had a de facto ban in place on state visits by Queen Elizabeth II to Israel. "The true reason of course, is that the FO [Foreign Office] has a ban on official royal visits to Israel, which is even more powerful for its being unwritten and unacknowledged."

The "eminent historian" Andrew Roberts, huh... Some of you may know of my tremendous respect for Richard Evans, the great expert on Germany. Well, he has this to say about Andrew Roberts:

Professor Richard Evans, said his oeuvre consists of "hastily written potboilers, widely criticised by reviewers for their inadequacies and inaccuracies", and says they contain "many inaccuracies and errors"

Nice try, Pammy. Glad to see you sticking to your usual journalistic standards.

Pammy again: " Rev. Stephen Venner called for a more sympathetic approach to the Islamic fundamentalists that recognises their humanity.
Why doesn't the Bishop saw his own head off and send it to the insurgents in a pretty English racing green box? That's a solution that will please them no end."

Oh, I don't know, Pammy. I'm not sure it's possible to saw your own head off and then send it to someone. Why don't you try it, and report back to us.

And Pammy again (last time today- I promise): "Muslim Bites Rabbi"

Perish the thought. What next- "Muslim pinches the Archbishop of Canterbury" or maybe "Muslim Pokes the Pope with a Pencil?" These outrages are what makes it totally justified for us to go over where they live and kill a couple of million of them, just to teach them a lesson. Why, I bet the bite marks didn't go away for two or three days.

Newsmax: "Latest: John Wayne Loved America, Share His Love for Christmas!"

Of course, he didn't love America enough to interrupt his film career to serve in World War II like most of his fellow actors. But then, he talked so tough. A perfect right wing hero, huh?

Henry Lamb, Renew America: "The idea that the role of government is to provide for its citizens is a return to the dark ages"

As opposed to helping the rich prey on them. Now, that is the real, God-given purpose of government today, right, Henry?

World Net Daily Special Offer: "How to melt away cancer from your body ... using nothing more than your fingertips! Try this on yourself right now"

Hey, there is a conservative alternative to the public option. Who needs government health care, when you can rub your disease away with your fingertips? Why didn't Obama think of that?

Chuck Norris, Town Hall: "What if Mother Mary Had Obamacare?"

What if Methuselah had social security? He would have collected for eight hundred years or so. That would have really bankrupted the social security fund.

And what if Samson had the right to bear arms? Or if Solomon had only had broadband? Or...no, wait, I've got to get a grip on myself here, or this could go on all day. The bible is a long book, you know.

Wait- here's an idea? What if Chuck Norris just shut up?

Jonah Goldberg, Town Hall: "America Through the Reality Lens"

Jonah Goldberg....reality. The mind boggles.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Joe Lieberman Tells FOX News That He’s Very Angry About the Attacks on His Wife"

A. Who gives a damn what Joe Lieberman is angry about. Really.

B. Listen, you dick: When your wife gets paid by the insurance companies, and you side with them against the American people, you should see how angry that makes us. So quit complaining, you corrupt maggot.

Jerome Corsi, Renew America: "Could it be that President Obama intends to bankrupt the USA in order to destroy free-enterprise capitalism itself? "

Oh, that's a real possibility, that deserves our consideration. Sure, he might be out to destroy America. That happens so often with presidents.

World Net Daily: "'Game-changer' allows 'gays' to marry online"

Well, I guess that's okay, as long as it's 'gays' and not gays.

National Review Online: "Obama: Not the Savior of the World"

Darn. And we Democrats all thought he was.

The Astute Bloggers: "DANES DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS - AND THEY'RE COMING TRUE! (DESPITE AL GORE!)"

OH MY GOD! IT'S SNOWING IN DENMARK IN DECEMBER! I GUESS THAT SURE PUTS AN END TO TALK ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING! And really, guys, fix that caps lock key already.

The Astute Bloggers: "Climategate is a global household name."

In your dreams, o astute guys. It's a household name only in the world of people who search out the most monumental lies they can find, like Green Eagle. Otherwise, nada. Deal with it.