Well, it's taken them a few days this time, but I guess our conservative brethren have finally amassed enough stupidity to be worth the ridicule. Here's a pretty good (or bad, depending on your viewpoint) sample:
World Net Daily: "'Terrorist leader' sues 'Bruno' movie- Says comedian lied about meeting, seeks half of film's earnings"
Half of the film's earnings. My advice? Sasha, just give them the five dollars and be done with it.
World Net Daily: "EPA declares 'air' dangerous to human health"
Actually, what your masters put in the air, but why quibble over a few mere facts, huh?
Confederate Yankee: "What do you get when you let a ideologically driven sensationalist with an economic interest in rabble-rousing use a suspected fraud as his key source of information?"
Wes Vernon, Renew America: "Yes, the red menace is still a threat -- or where is Joe McCarthy when we need him?"
He's dead, Wes. And like W. C. Fields said about vaudeville, just leave his corpse in the grave. And as for that red menace thing, I hope you aren't trying to impress anyone under eighty.
Ed Feulner, Town Hall: "No Timetable for Victory"
And just as well, Ed, because as far as I can tell, the timetable for victory in Afghanistan would last about a thousand years.
Pammy Geller, Atlas Shrugs: "Islam's Fourth Reich: Iran successfully simulated a nuclear warhead detonation."
Listen, Pammy: I work in the movie business. We can successfully simulate a nuclear warhead detonation, the coming of a new ice age, monster attacks by the dozens, blowing up a whole planet, even an honest Republican president. There's a big difference between a simulation and reality, take my word for it.
Power Line: "The Washington Post hates Joe Lieberman- There you have the Washington Post's take on Lieberman -- bad faith politico, egomaniac, and ingrate. Oh, and serial liar too."
That's not hate you spied there, Power Line guys, it's honesty. I know that's a concept you are pretty weak on, so just trust us on this one.
Bill Siegel, Pajamas Media: "Palin must confront her fundamental weakness: conveying to the public that she comprehends and can handle presidential-level problems."
Sorry Bill. Palin's fundamental weakness is that she doesn't comprehend and can't handle presidential-level problems. She couldn't even handle the problems of one of the least inhabited states in the country. What she can handle is selling herself to whoever is willing to pay the price. That makes her a good presidential prospect in your opinion, huh? Well, you are Republicans.
Michael Bolden, Renew America: "Will Missouri nullify federal gun laws?"
No. But they may make fools out of themselves pretending that they can.
Brian Domitrovic, Human Events: "Michael Moore Killed All the Jobs"
Oy. Guy, that's going to make you look pretty silly tomorrow, when you go back to blaming it all on Obama.
Linda Chavez, Human Events: "Cut Taxes To Create Jobs- If the president were really serious, he'd put more money back in the hands of those capable of creating jobs -- and far more efficiently than government can -- individual investors and private business."
Less taxes for the rich and their companies. Now, where did I hear that idea before?
Lisa Schiffren, American Thinker: "If I were watching the public's disgust with the newly revealed Tiger Woods from an office in the West Wing, I'd be concerned."
Because Tiger Woods and Barack Obama are the same! You know what I mean, don't you?
Funny no one ever said Bush should be concerned when his bud Ted Haggard turned out to be a gay, prostitute patronizing meth head.
Well, enough fun for one day. See you soon.
Late Night Winnipeg
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