Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Green Eagle Enters Politics

Yes, Green Eagle has gotten tired of just squawking and has found a perfect place for himself, where he can use his unique expertise for the common good.

Today, he found this stirring appeal on the internet:

"The liberals and gays from California to Florida are crowing about the recent Congressional resolution on Slavery Apology. Should we really apologize for something that we didn't do? The logic follows were they better off when brought to America, and if not should we pay to send them back? How evil was antebellum slavery?"

 Oh, I don't know...very, very evil or just very evil?

"What determines that slavery in America was evil?"

 Perhaps a minimal sense of common human decency.

"If the Bible indeed is the final authority on right and wrong, then what does the Bible say about the institution of slavery?"

Well, hate to break it to you, but if the bible is for slavery, then it is most definitely not "the final authority on right and wrong," just the final authority on wrong.

"A new foundation is the key to restoring our freedoms and liberties. The Confederacy has suffered far too long while the United States has been bringing about its own destruction. It is time that we end the abuses and return our nation to its rightful place.."

Restoring our Constitutional Republic cannot happen without the election of Delegates to the Confederate Congress. Are you ready to make a change? Are you willing to be there on the front lines? Are you ready to turn talk into action?"

Yes, Green Eagle has decided to step forward and place his name in nomination to be a Delegate to the Confederate Congress!  I know you wish him the best, so perhaps you can help him with the application questionnaire.  Here it is, with Green Eagle's answers:

Have you ever been convicted of any criminal activity?

No, but you guys are a sore temptation.
Are you a member of an organization that might compromise your serving with the Confederate Congress? (if yes please explain)

Yeah, it's called the United States of America.  Ever heard of that?
In your opinion what is your stance on what a Constitutional Republic should be?

How about one that charges with treason those who wage war against it or give aid and comfort to its enemies?   

Explain what a free society means to you.

Like, where no one owns anyone else.  Can we agree on that part?  No...I guess not.
Explain in re-building the Southern Confederacy, what you feel will bring our nation and our citizens to prosperity and liberty.    

Having the Southern States leave the country so the rest of us don't have to support you lazy, ignorant bums while you go around spouting your hatred.

What role should government play in society?    

Protecting the rest of us from rich people and the morons who lap up their stupid propaganda and do their bidding, like the idiots in the South that fought a war to protect the right of rich planters to own other people.

How do you feel government on the state level should function?

They should act like decent human beings, not slimy, lying, greedy racist right wing dicks.
Please add any other comments you would like for us in considering your application.

You lost.  It was a hundred and fifty years ago.  Deal with it already.   

Well, what do you think?  Green Eagle is a sure winner, huh?  Why I bet they elect me Speaker of the House or something.

By the way, if you would like to be a Confederate representative too, here's the place.  I think it would be nice if a lot of us show our support for this noble endeavor.


JohninOregon said...

Well, it's tempting, but I don't think I could ever top GE's answers on the application form.

Leslie Parsley said...

Beautiful. Go for it. I'd vote for you multiple times.

Green Eagle said...

Sorry, Leslie, I don't think you get a vote unless you can display the contract selling your soul to Satan. I'm glad you liked my answers, but I bet there's going to be some kind of stiff competition for these valuable positions.