Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Republican Intellectual Rigor Explained

An E-mail from Fox News managing director Bill Sammons to his staff:
From: Sammon, Bill
To: 169 -SPECIAL REPORT; 036 -FOX.WHU; 054 -FNSunday; 030 -Root (FoxNews.Com); 050 -Senior Producers; 051 -Producers; 069 -Politics; 005 -Washington
Cc: Clemente, Michael; Stack, John; Wallace, Jay; Smith, Sean
Sent: Tue Dec 08 12:49:51 2009
Subject: Given the controversy over the veracity of climate change data...
...we should refrain from asserting that the planet has warmed (or cooled) in any given period without IMMEDIATELY pointing out that such theories are based upon data that critics have called into question. It is not our place as journalists to assert such notions as facts, especially as this debate intensifies.
Some other subjects that should benefit from the same treatment:

...we should refrain from asserting that the earth is more than 6,000 years old without IMMEDIATELY pointing out that such theories are based upon data that critics have called into question.

...we should refrain from asserting that George W. Bush did not personally order the 9-11 attacks without IMMEDIATELY pointing out that such theories are based upon data that critics have called into question.

...we should refrain from asserting that somewhere there exists an honest Republican, without IMMEDIATELY pointing out that such theories are based upon data that critics have called into question.

Well, it would be easy to go on with this game, but I guess you get the point.  Don't dare report on anything if some rich bastard has paid a bunch of phony experts to lie about it.  That should help us all move in the right direction.

3 comments:

mastercynic said...

I was really planning on relocating to some Caribbean island nation to escape the seemingly inevitable collapse of America, but now the same traitors destroying my country are determined to destroy the world.

Green Eagle said...

Well, at least after the world's economy collapses, you could lie on the beach and drink cheap rum. It doesn't sound all that bad, does it?

mastercynic said...

I may need to start the drinking part sooner.