Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Wingnut Wrapup

I've tried to keep the sickening mass of Conservative attempts to turn the Marathon bombing to their advantage to a minimum.  God knows, I could have filled ten Wingnut Wrapups with their junk, but I've tried to show a little restraint this time.  Next, back to my usual raving:

Derek Hunter, Town Hall:  "Progressives can’t help themselves. When normal person hear of a tragedy, they feel the natural range of emotions – fear, anger, sympathy, etc. But progressives are not normal humans. When they hear news of a tragedy their first thought is “How can this help the cause?” There’s something oddly perverse about this mental defect that somehow overrides decency in tragedy’s aftermath...Progressive’s hatred for America is not limited to race. It’s universal against the culture because the culture still insists on embracing liberty and responsibility. As such, it must be attacked."

Projection, what?

Debra Saunders, Town Hall:  "There is no problem too flimsy for California's nanny lawmakers, as witnessed by the many laws that state solons have proposed to keep constituents from getting free plastic bags at the grocery. Those teensy plastic bags are cheap."

Arsenic is cheap, too, Debra.  That doesn't mean you can get it for free at the supermarket.

Larry Klayman, Renew America: "In short, Obama has set the tone and led the way in giving this green light to his fellow Muslims bent on terror."

Fellow Muslims.  Hmm.

"Nor was there hardly any mention on any station or other press entity of even the possibility that Muslim terror was involved in the huge explosion that occurred in West, Texas, where a fertilizer plant blew up Wednesday...This intentionally "clueless" rendition of the likely cause of the blast continues to this day"

Yes, that's right- Muslims blew the fertilizer plant up too.  And the whole press, which jumped on any crazy theory about the Marathon bombing, is keeping its mouths shut, because they are all tools of the Muslims too.

"But at least "W" and "Uncle Dick" projected strength and did not appease and roll over to Muslim and other terrorist interests."

Yeah, "strength."  They "projected" strength.  Too bad for us that they didn't show any strength when they went to war in Afghanistan and Iraq, other than the strength to kill a few hundred thousand civilians..

Jack Cashill, American Thinker:  "How Long Before Dzhokhar Starts Palling Around with Obama?"

Good question, Jack.  How long before Dzhokhar is over there at the White House swilling beer with Obama?  How long do you think?  Just don't try holding your breath until it happens, or you are going to turn really blue and scare your dog.

Bob Owens, Gun Mad Jackass:  "After days of inept searching and false alarms, Boston Marathon bombing suspect is finally captured"

Four days!  FOUR DAYS!  It took them a whole FOUR DAYS to catch the bombing suspects!  The worthless, incompetent government stooges.  No wonder so many right wingers like Bob Owens are just hungering for a chance to shoot a few of those useless police down and get them off the government dole.

Roger Simon, PJ Media:  "We have the worst possible president to deal with the threat of Islamic terrorism."

What, the one who killed Osama Bin Laden and under whom the latest bombers were caught in four days?  My money for worst possible President is on the one who didn't catch Bin Laden in seven years, never found a clue about the anthrax mailings, and presided over the biggest military blunder in two centuries.  But then, you've forgotten about that one, huh?

Michael Gaynor, Renew America:  "Chuck Morse warns that ACORN's goal is to take over America in new book"

Acorn. Man, they never give up.  Next we will be hearing about the threat posed by the IWW or the Abraham Lincoln brigades.

World Net Daily Exclusive:  "'The Quran is our constitution'  Tracing roots of Islamism inside the U.S."

The Quran is our constitution.  Outrageous!  Compare this despicable claim to the attitudes of real Americans as illustrated below:

Dan Popp, Renew America:  "Miranda and other myths... There are no "Miranda rights" if you believe that rights come from God and not from the Supreme Court."

Well, Dan, sane people do not believe that.  Only Islamic militants and people like you.  But Dan isn't done being stupid for today:

I don't believe that Mr. Tsarnaev is a citizen.  Yes, I know he was naturalized, and I assume he even has the documentation to prove it."

But Dan still doesn't believe it.  He knows better.  Of course, he doesn't believe in evolution, global warming, rational economics, or any of a hundred other things that are obviously true.  And while I am on the subject, Dan doesn't believe that Constitutional protections apply to non-citizens.  This is a common right wing claim, so I am taking this opportunity to point out that the Bill of Rights never says such a thing- it applies these rights to all people, not just American citizens.  This is just one more example of right wingers blabbing away about how much they revere the Constitution, while ignoring what it clearly says.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "I have advocated for some time that we suspend the practice of allowing Muslims to serve in our military simply because they, as Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan illustrates, have a sacred obligation to kill their fellow soldiers as their first order of business."

Of course, hundreds of thousands of Muslims have served in the military without feeling any "sacred obligation to kill their fellow soldiers as their first order of business," but one that did is all it takes to kick them all out.  Not sure how Bryan feels about the recent plot by a bunch of Christian soldiers in Georgia to kill Obama, which got off to a great start when they murdered two of their co-conspirators.  I guess all Christians should be kicked out of the military too.  Think of the money the government could save by not having to pay soldiers for a day off at Christmas and Easter.  And really, even Israel hasn't thought of having an all-Jewish army- maybe it's worth a try.  If we can afford the bagels.

And now, an episode of Get Your Story Straight, Buddy:

Reza Khalili, World Net Daily:  "Quds Forces planned Boston bombings for 2 years...Qasem Soleimani, the head of Iran’s Quds Forces, ordered reconnaissance and intelligence gathering on various events and public gatherings in the United States years ago, culminating in the bombings at the Boston Marathon one week ago, WND has learned."

Well, that certainly is some terrifying news.  Reza, maybe you should get together with your friend Drew Zahn, who had this to report the same day:

Drew Zahn, World Net Daily:  "Glenn Beck to Obama: Come clean on bombing, or else...What is Beck threatening to expose? Apparently it has something to do with Abdul Rahman Ali Alharbi, a Saudi national initially questioned by police following the bombing, but since released."

Saudi Arabia?  Iran?  Well, those ragheads are all the same, right?  They're all in it together.  Let's just kill them all.  Because, if it's at World Net Daily, it must be true.

World Net Daily:  "Nanny Tells Family Dead Baby Only Napping"

It's pining for the fjords.  By the way, that's the same thing Bush and Cheney told us about the Iraq war for six years.

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Man Defends His Life With an AR-15"

A guy killed an intruder in his apartment.  In the meantime, scores of innocent people were killed with guns, but Katie does not care about them, because being dead, they are of no value to the firearms industry.

Harry R. Jackson, Jr, Town Hall:  "Minimum Wage Hurts Unskilled Black Workers...Did you know that there was a time in our country, after the Civil War, when white unemployment was higher than black unemployment?"

Did you know that there was a time before the Civil War when black unemployment was way lower that white unemployment?  Harry seems to feel that it would be a good idea to go back to indentured servitude, lifelong indebtedness and starvation wages.  Then everyone could have a job!  Hooray!

Now, some of the most pathetic rewriting of history ever:

Bill Murchison, Town Hall:  "While presiding over a war someone else started, George W. Bush received abuse and vilification unprecedented for a U. S. president"

Someone else started the war in Iraq?  Oh yeah, Dick Cheney did, I guess, so it's not Bush's fault at all!  Or maybe it was started by Yogi the Bear.  Yeah, that's right.  Yogi the Bear.  Or maybe Obama in a Yogi the Bear suit.  We're getting closer to the truth all the time.  Yeah, Obama started the war in Iraq!  Bill continues:

"What is true, I venture, is that our national trip into the vortex of the Iraqi-Afghan-Muslim-terror-war whirlpool was predestined under existing circumstances -- an aspect of fate; postponable, maybe, but unavoidable."

Oh I get it now.  Fate started the "Iraqi-Afghan-Muslim-terror-war whirlpool."  It wasn't Bush that invaded Iraq at all, it was predestined, i.e. Bush was only carrying out the will of God.  So see, Bush isn't at fault, God is!  And everything that any Muslim ever did is part of the same evil plot, so once one Muslim did something we didn't like, it is only fair if we kill any of them any time we want, forever.  That is how you make them love Democracy.

Washington Times:  "Obama, Clinton blew Benghazi response: Republican report"

Republican report.  Gee, that's surprising.

"Democrats on the five committees fired off a letter Tuesday saying they were left out of the report-writing entirely"

Oh, well what could do more to convince us that the report is reliable, rather than a partisan hatchet job?

William A. Levinson, American Thinker:  "Gun Bill Defeat is Not Enough...In the gun rights battle, the legal and nonviolent destruction of entire organizations -- and politcal careers -- is on the table"

Apparently doing the bidding of corrupt corporations is not enough for this guy- he wants to eliminate all of the people that were in favor of this legislation- 90% of the American population.

And let's just end with some religious messages:

Answers in Genesis Magazine:  "Today, the English Channel separates the British Isles from the continent of Europe. But during the Ice Age, Britain was not an island. The ocean was so low that the shallow seafloor was dry land, known as Doggerland. People from Babel actually lived there until the melting ice flooded their homeland."

Oy.  People from Babel lived on the bottom of the English Channel.  During the ice age.  Oy.

Answers in Genesis Magazine:  "Christians cannot accept the argument that homosexuality is an immutable characteristic. . . . On that basis, why not grant theft or other sinful behavior the same civil rights protection?"

Oy yoy yoy.  I give up.


joseph said...

Mr. Eagle,

You missed one of the wingnut apoplexy of the week memes. Tsarnaev was on welfare! Forget about his three year old daughter who was the primary beneficiary of food stamps and medicaid (because we don't have single payer), it's all about THE WELFARE. You'd think "A Modest Proposal" was written last week. On the other hand, those @!??#$! would probably not recognize it as satire and would start looking up recipes.

Green Eagle said...

Joseph, even Green Eagle can only take so much of this. Believe me, I miss lots of things every time I put together a Wingnut Wrapup. After a while, I just have to throw up my hands and say, "enough already."