Saturday, July 7, 2012

Wingnut Wrapup

Okay, okay, so Green Eagle doesn't have enough constructive to do with his time.  Anyway, here we go again...

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "It’s the Obama Way… 3 Million Kids Now Get Free Lunches All Year Long...The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Summer Food Service Program provides three million low-income children with free, nutritious meals during the summer months when school is not in session."

What an abomination!  Free lunches for kids.  Let them get their own God damn food.  Do you know how many car elevators Republicans could buy with the money that it takes to give food to three million poor kids?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Impeach John Roberts Movement Gains Steam"

Jim's proof:  Someone has created an Impeach John Roberts page on Facebook.  That'll tell them!

Rick Berman, Town Hall:  "Mr. Trumka, You Clearly Do Not Understand Freedom"

Not if you think it includes the right to join a union.  Mr. Berman reasons:

"Consider... that over 90 percent of currently unionized employees in the private sector never voted for the union in their workplace"

Sterling logic.  After all, every one of us voted to create the United States.  Otherwise, being U.S. citizens would be the next thing to slavery.

Ann Coulter, Town Hall:  "The American Revolution was a movement based on ideas, painstakingly argued by serious men in the process of creating what would become the freest, most prosperous nation in world history."

Freest, most prosperous nation...Until you guys got your hands on it.  I bet you're damned proud of that, Ann.

Erick Erickson, Red State:  "Transportation Secretary Praises Murderous Communists as “More Successful”

Oh, sure he does, Erick.  Man, right wingers will believe anything.  Except the truth, of course.

Tom Blumer, PJ Media:  "Unforced Errors Are Sinking Obama...This time, the president's flubs and his campaign's crassness matter...President Barack Obama’s gaffes, tone-deaf statements, and inadvertent betrayals of his elitist true beliefs now arrive with such frequency that they leave one wondering if he’s deliberately trying to lose "

Projection, much?  Romney's campaign strategy:  Na na na na na, no, you!

Kathy Shaidle, PJ Media:  "As American nuns publicly complain (again) about the evil patriarchal Church, a nasty question hangs in the air: Why don't they just leave?"

Well, personally, I think that would be a good idea, Kathy.  I can't see how any decent person would really want to be part of the same organization that runs the world's largest child rape ring.

Matt C. Abbott, Renew America:  "Priests differ on SCOTUS Obamacare decision"

Priests?  Who gives a flying fuck?

Astute Bloggers:  "CHINA IS A PONZI SCHEME AND IT'S ABOUT TO COLLAPSE, AS ALL PYRAMIDS DO"

It's about to collapse, after about five thousand years.  Man, those guys over there can't do anything right.

Astute Bloggers:  "WHAT WOULD BREITBART DO ABOUT OBAMATAX?"

I know I'm getting repetitive here, but really, who gives a flying fuck?

Astute Bloggers:  "THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA: Lifeguard fired for helping drowning man...A lifeguard who left his section of a Florida beach to help save a man from drowning has been given the sack. Tomas Lopez, 21, was patrolling part of Hallandale Beach north of Miami when he was told that a swimmer was in trouble in an unguarded area of the beach.

"I wasn't going to say no," the lifeguard said.  But his bosses said he had broken company rules and could have put other swimmers at risk. At least two colleagues have resigned in protest.

TRAIL LAWYERS HAVE RUINED AMERICA.  AND THEIR CHIEF TOOL HAS BEEN THE DEMOCRAT PARTY"

No mention, of course, that this lifeguard was fired by a company which took over lifeguard service from the local government when Republicans privatized it.  He was fired because he went outside the area of the company's contract- he would never have been fired if he still worked for the government.  But of course, it's all the Democrats' fault.

Breitbart.Com:  "Breitbart was right. More than any other baseball team, the Dodgers have represented the best of America"

Yeah, until Rupert Murdoch bought them.  Since then, they've sucked big time.  Think about it, right wingers.

Town Hall:  "Is the Obama Administration Outsourcing Green Jobs to Africa Now?"

Well, no.  What the Obama administration did was approve a $20 million dollar grant to “help clean energy projects in Africa get started.”  Nothing about moving American jobs over there- just a very modest attempt to help very poor people somewhere else.  The truth, of course, is hardly enough to prevent Republicans from telling this preposterous lie, which is obviously intended to confuse people worried about Romney's history of actually taking American jobs to third world foreign countries, and making very good money for himself in the process, thank you very much.

David Limbaugh, Town Hall:  "Republicans Want More Debt' and Other Democratic Propaganda"

Ignore the fact that virtually all of the national debt piled up since World War II is the direct result of Republican policies.  They didn't want more debt- it just happened by accident while they were busy robbing the country blind.

So of course, it's the Democrats' fault.

Mona Charen, Town Hall:  "What Romney Needs to Say About Romneycare"

"If you don't shut up about that and vote for me anyway, jackals are going to eat your children."  Really, I can't think of anything else that might work for him.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "Did the American Revolution violate Romans 13?"

Boy, are we going to lose sleep worrying about that one.

William A. Levinson, American Thinker:  "Obama's Problem Obeying the Law...There is ample evidence that Barack Obama, and people under his supervision, committed at least one felony -- specifically, illegal gambling across state lines"

Obama's awful, unforgivable, hideous crime?  His campaign offered a lunch with Obama as a reward to a lucky small contributor to his re-election campaign. Lunches with the President, as any right-thinking Republican knows, should be reserved for people who give tens of thousands of dollars to a candidate, and then, of course, the lunch isn't gambling, it's a purchase.  That is perfectly legal.

Frank Ryan, American Thinker:  "Fighting this Depression with the Last Depression's Tactics is a Recipe for Disaster"

Actually, the recipe for success, according to Frank, is to fight this depression with the tactics that caused the last depression.  Yes indeed, the very same policies employed by Herbert Hoover between 1929 and 1933 are just the ticket to help us out now.  Here's a piece of free advice for you:  If you believe this, vote for Mitt in the fall.  See where it gets you.

AND NOW THE CONSERVATIVE BLOCKBUSTER NEWS STORY OF THE DAY!

Breitbart.Com:  "Hollywood Reporter: Brad Pitt's Mother 'Anti-Gay'

Man, I'm sure glad we got that settled.

Rich Lowry, National Review Online:  "Obamacare: It’s Not Over-The Roberts decision settles nothing."

Of course not.  It's only settled when Republicans get their way.  We all know that.

9 comments:

mastercynic said...

Being U.S. citizens would be the next thing to slavery. Sarcasm or Republican wet dream? Perhaps even prophecy?

Cardinal 44 said...

All pyramids collapse? Did anyone tell the Egyptians? Or the Mayans?

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Green Eagle said...

I have just deleted four comments by Anonymous.

Anonymous, as I promised you, I will delete all comments you post which have absolutely nothing to do with my post. None of these comments was pertinent or responsive in any way.

If you want to spread your racist lies, why not go to Blogger and start your own blog? I did it, and it's really easy. I'll even promise to come over to your blog and post relevant comments.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Green Eagle said...

Another miserable lie from Anonymous, deleted.