Friday, January 3, 2014

Let's See How We Can Ruin the Constitution, Whooppee!

Really, there has been effectively no news for days worth complaining about, so Green Eagle is reduced to mocking a proposed new Constitutional amendment that's making its way around the Wingnut world lately.  Here's the text, followed by some incisive commentary from that noted Constitutional scholar, Green Eagle, who is said to have reduced more copies of the Bill of Rights to shreds with his beak than any other know parrot.

Note: Please swallow any food or drink before continuing.  Green Eagle will not be held responsible for accidental choking.

"The 28th Amendment to our United States Constitution should read as follows: The Congress, the Supreme Court, the Executive Branch of United States nor the Congress of any of the fifty states of the United States of America and all municipalities, counties, or any other body politic associated with government within the jurisdiction of all fifty U.S. sovereign States shall not, in any way, shape, form or fashion abridge or infringe upon the rights of it's citizens whether they be government employees, military personnel, or any person or persons not employed by said entities to openly and freely worship, or display or express their Christian faith based religious beliefs of ANY denomination at any time or any place within the jurisdiction of the United States of America, whether it be private, public or government property including any U.S. military installation or base situated in any part of the globe. In additon, any private business, that provides a private and or public service will have complete rights to refuse service to any person or organization based on it's religious beliefs as well. The Supreme Court of the United States and all of its subordinate Courts as well as State District Courts will be stripped of any authority to hear any case regarding faith based religion of Christianity of any denomination unless it is regarding an abridgement clause violation or any other violation of this Amendment and shall be met with criminal punishment. Moreover, ALL previous rulings handed down by the Supreme Court regarding faith based religion as regards worship, open prayer led by public officials, students or displaying upon government, private or any public property within the borders the United States and it's territories any religious items such as the Bible, The Ten Commandments, Christmas trees, nativity scenes, crosses or ANY other Christian symbol..etc., shall be deemed null void and officially reversed.
Ariticle Five shall also be Amended to include that the 28th Amendment to the Constitution shall never be repealed and have the same protections as States Suffrage rights. This shall remain the law of the land until time indefinite or until Almighty God says otherwise. (complete definitions of each word in this amendment as it is written in context shall be defined so as not to be misconstrued in ANY way by future generations NOR the Supreme Court of the United States of America."

Well, here we go- perhaps there are just a few problems with this specimen of insanity carefully worded document.  And before getting down to details, may I add that this is one of the worst written parodies of legalistic language I have ever heard?

1.  "Congress of any of the fifty states"- Here is a little known historical fact:  The legislatures of the fifty States are not called Congresses.  Who knew, huh?

2.  "...openly and freely worship, or display or express their Christian faith based religious beliefs of ANY denomination..."- Actually, I think there is something which already sort of guarantees that.  It's called the first amendment.  Of course it has the disadvantage (I guess) that it fails to restrict this right to Christians only, revealing a fatal flaw in the thinking of the infallible founding fathers, which it is now our duty to correct.

3. "In additon, any private business, that provides a private and or public service will have complete rights to refuse service to any person or organization based on it's religious beliefs as well."- Otherwise known as legalizing Sharia law.  Nice work there, guys.

4.  "The Supreme Court of the United States and all of its subordinate Courts as well as State District Courts will be stripped of any authority to hear any case regarding faith based religion of Christianity of any denomination"- I bet they are going to have a tough time getting the Supreme Court of the United States to go along with that one.  Note again, the reference to "Christianity," which may slightly conflict with this :  "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..."  No problem, of course- the Constitution only counts when it is in accord with the opinions of a majority of Americans with IQ's below 70, right?

5.  "ALL previous rulings handed down by the Supreme Court regarding faith based religion... shall be deemed null void and officially reversed."- effectively ending the principle of stare decisis and with that act destroying the judicial system of the United States.  But no problem- the right to display Christian symbols is worth wrecking our legal system, right?

6.  "Ariticle Five shall also be Amended to include that the 28th Amendment to the Constitution shall never be repealed"-  Fat chance.  I presume that the part of Article 5 they are referring to here is this:  "This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof...shall be the supreme Law of the Land..." since this "amendment" would do away with the notion that the Constitution is supreme, in favor of the idea that belligerent religious idiots can change the nature of the government whenever they get angry enough.

7.  "This shall remain the law of the land until time indefinite or until Almighty God says otherwise."- Right, guys.

I am going to this trouble to make one point here.  That is that despite the right's constant claims to be the defenders of the Constitution, they don't give a damn about it when it stands in the way of their ultimate plan to impose a pseudo-theocratic dictatorship on this country.

Because we all know, given their values, that they don't care any more about Christ than they do about the Constitution, and that once they take over, the country will be run for the sole benefit of a tiny oligarchy, while the rest of us starve- including 99.99% of the fools that fall for something like this.  The whole Christianity thing is just an attempt to claim their right to do anything they want, in the name of God- window dressing to hide the ugliness behind.

And so, here comes 2014, a year in which right wingers will try to top the heights of ugliness and hatred that they reached last year- a project which they already show signs of easily completing.

2 comments:

Jerry Critter said...

A clear desire to establish a theocracy. Interesting. They want to follow in the path of Islam. Smart!

(What fucking idiots!)

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