Friday, January 31, 2014

Wingnut Wrapup

Yes, again.  They won't stop because they are too stupid and vicious, and Green Eagle won't stop because he's too stubborn.  And because he's a parrot.  Did you ever try to shut up a parrot?  Fat chance.

So, here we go:

Daniel Doherty, Town Hall:  "Obamacare is an "Inequality Godzilla"

What the hell does that mean?  I guess they have just run out of even their usual pathetic arguments against Obamacare, so now they are reduced to just stringing scary words together and hoping they can inspire panic in the lizard brains of their followers.

Daniel Doherty, Town Hall:  "McCain: Thanks for Censuring me, Now I Feel Even More Motivated to Run in 2016 "

Oh, please!  Please let the Republicans nominate this senile old fool to run against Hillary.  That would be almost as much fun as if they go with Ted Cruz.  Think McCain would pick Sarah Palin again?

Ben Shapiro, Town Hall:  "How Hollywood Is Killing Same-Sex Marriage"

This is about how the same sex marriages at the Grammys destroyed people's support for same sex marriage.  First of all, Ben, the Grammys are not Hollywood.  Leaving that aside, I wonder how many people that want to be married will now say, "no, I've changed my mind because of something that happened at the Grammys."  Man, what delusional thinking from this puerile little jerk.

Charles Payne, Town Hall:  "Can a man who once owned the world's largest sailing yacht claim to be a victim of discrimination? Well, when it comes to Tom Perkins, the answer is yes."

Yes, he can claim it.  However, he's just making himself look like one of the biggest jackasses in history when he does.

Thomas Crown, Red State:  "Small Businesses Don’t Add Jobs Because Government Makes Doing So Stupid.  Monday, I paid a couple of hundred dollars to the Internal Revenue Service for a penalty on a penalty that I should never have been assessed."

No, Judge, I'm innocent.  Who you going to believe, me or those Federal agents?  By the way, this entire column was devoted to some incomprehensible explanation of why Mr. Crown shouldn't have to pay a tax penalty.  Apparently he ran out of room before he got around to telling us why small businesses aren't adding jobs because of government.  Maybe next time.

PJ Media:  " What Constitutes Reasonable Definitions of Lawlessness, Dictatorship, and Tyranny?"

Anything that Democrats do.  That was simple.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Baby Born on I-285 in Atlanta in Snow Traffic...Last night Barack Obama said, “Climate change is a fact.”

A baby was born in the snow.  To right wingers, that's all the proof they need that the 2900 peer reviewed scientific papers verifying global warming last year are all nonsense.

Barry Farber, World Net Daily:  "Obama's purge of generals: Just like Stalin's"

A very interesting historical analysis, with only one slight flaw:  Obama didn't purge any generals.  Other than that, right on.  Oh, except that Stalin killed a lot of his generals too, and I haven't really heard that Obama killed anyone.*  But otherwise, spot on, Barry.

World Net Daily:  "Egypt's Morsi in rage-filled rant during trial"

I see a career for him in right wing talk radio.

Richard Butrick, American Thinker:  "Did D'Souza Hit a Nerve?"

When we last saw Dinesh D'Souza (well, not the last time- that was when he got fired from his million dollar job as President of a right wing Christian phony university, for having sex with the students) he was pushing his theory that Obama's attitudes were all a result of being brought up in Kenya by his Socialist father.  Of course, none of that happened, but now Dinesh D'Souza has been indicted for electoral fraud, which absolutely proves that his lunatic theories were true, even though they weren't.  Well, there you go- life in the Conservative world.

Derrick Wilburn, American Thinker:  "Spot the Black Dummies...When said of conservative Republicans its apparently harsh truth, but when said of liberal Democrats, its utter racism"

Finally, a Conservative that tells the truth!  Praise the Lord!  Oh wait, I think he was just venting his spleen in a fit of low-level sarcasm.  Believe Green Eagle, Derrick, who knows sarcasm: you need a lot of practice before trying this out in public.

Newsmax:  "Dick Morris, Allen West Respond to Obama"

Oh God, not that! Dick Morris and Allen West all at once? Green Eagle can take a lot, but that is really going too far.  Of course, this is on the same page as an article entitled "Bible Verse Contains Hidden Healing Code."  I guarantee, you will get just as much truth from either one of these articles.

Susan Duclos, Before It's News:  "Cops Terrified, Demon Child Walks Backwards Up Wall And More In Indiana"

Indiana.  Well, then, okay, I guess I understand.  And as long as the demon child stays in Indiana, fine with me.  The article continues:

"Either each and every witness is very superstitious, we are witnessing mass hysteria and mass hallucinations or we have an account, citing multiple official sources and witnesses, of a true family possession and demons openly attacking innocents and showing themselves blatantly."

Or else there is this possible explanation:  The whole story is a cheesy phony, concocted to fool the sort of dimwits who read "Before It's News."  What do you think?

Bill McMorris, Washington Free Beacon:  "Major Dem Donor’s Company to Benefit from Minimum Wage Hike...Costco, whose CEO is a prominent Democratic Party fundraiser, will directly benefit from the 40 percent minimum wage increase proposed by Sen. Tom Harkin (D., Iowa) and embraced by the president in his State of the Union address..."

And how will this corrupt example of cronyism happen?

"The wage hikes will not impact Costco, whose employees’ starting wage is more than $11 per hour, but it will drive up the labor costs for nearly all of Costco’s competition."

The bastards!  What a sleazy trick!  They're already paying more than the proposed minimum wage!  How could anything so unfair be allowed?  Anyway, here's a little more:

“At Costco, we know that paying employees good wages makes good sense for business,” (Costco CEO Craig) Jelinek said of the BFMW petition in 2013. “Instead of minimizing wages, we know it’s a lot more profitable in the long term to minimize employee turnover and maximize employee productivity, commitment, and loyalty. We support efforts to increase the federal minimum wage.”

The vast majority of retailers do not share Jelinek’s optimism about the economic benefits of increased labor costs."

Optimism.  We foolish liberals call it common human decency.

Before It's News:  "100+ Reports Of Fireball Over Midwest"

Whoops- someone got loose from Skyrim.

Kim Zigfield, PJ Media:  "Massive Russian Spying on Americans and American Companies"

Gee, I wonder what other country might be doing the same sort of spying on Americans.

Joseph Farah, World Net Daily:  "Why Obama's eligibility is still important"

Because they've got nothing else.

Jeannie De Angelis, American Thinker:  "Michelle Obama Wore an 'a-what-a?' to the SOTU...The nation is a mess, and this woman shows up in haute couture?'

What should she have worn, jeans and a t-shirt?  I suspect that in Jeannie's eyes, no black woman has a right to dress nice, because they are all moochers on welfare, even Michelle.  Could you even imagine Jeannie complaining if First Lady Anne Romney wore an expensive dress to the State of the Union address?

*Well, except for the 23 people on this list, I guess.


Magpie said...

“Think McCain would pick Sarah Palin again?”

I think a lot of us would roll around the floor in tears of laughter observing the Right wing go crazy with that discussion.

“A baby was born in the snow.”

According to a recent report, 1 in 200 births in America are to women who claim to be virgins.
This is the industrial rebirth of the American dream. You have Jesus factories happening.

Regarding Cosco:

Cosco is becoming a major success story in Australia, where Walmart has been unable to get a foot in. Draw your own conclusions.

Grung_e_Gene said...

J Farrah of world nuts daily has always maintained he never questioned the birth certificate, but thinks Obama is Hitler plus Mao plus Stalin squared.

Oh and the outlaw Jersey Whale Christie is about to be hailed in.

Green Eagle said...

And a baby born in a manger proves there are no such things as sheep.