Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Wingnut Wrapup

It never stops.

Let's just start out today with this stirring declaration:

"An open letter to the Supreme Court of the United States of America
SUBMITTED BY A FRIEND OF RENEW AMERICA — We the People, by the authority vested in us by the Declaration of Independence and secured as unalienable rights by the laws of the U.S. Constitution, do hereby respectfully request the Supreme Court of the United States uphold and defend........."

Well, I guess that was enough of that, huh?  No sense making you lapse into a coma this early in my post.

Twitchy:  ‘They’re gonna look good next to us’: President Prop-aganda recruits Marines to hold umbrellas"

Yes, this is one of the current Conservative outrages- President Obama had a Marine hold an umbrella for him.  God, will the indignities never stop?

Town Hall:  "BREAKING: House votes to repeal Obamacare 229-195"

For the 37th time, with a collective cost estimated to be about $45 million.  Result: nothing.  Conservative government in action.

Town Hall:  "Definition of Insanity: Raising Tax Rates and Expecting a Higher Result"

Real definition of insanity:  Anything right wingers are for.  How could you ever think you'd get more money if you raised rates? 

Scott Carter, Town Hall:  "Is There Any Among You That Can Challenge the Claim That Gold Will Double Again"

Brad Jackson, Red State:  "Is the Deficit Really Shrinking?"

Of course not!  That would go against right wing talking points, so it must be false.

Bob Owens:  "I wanted to give everyone an update on Tripp, my daughter’s adorably dumb and incredibly sweet pit bull that had a quartet of seizures the other night and morning. Quite a few of you donated money to defray the costs his care and treatment, so you have a vested interest in his recovery.

We picked him up from the vet shortly before noon yesterday, and he was still very doped up from the loading doses of phenobarbital that the vet put into his system to control the seizures."

Pit bull, huh?  You gave your little daughter a pit bull.  Don't worry, Bob, the drugs will wear off in a couple of days, and Tripp can get back to planning when to eat your daughter's face off.  Listen, Bob, if you want to play macho games with a dog, how about risking yourself instead of your daughter?  Typical chickenhawk right winger- violence is fine as long it happens to someone else.

Bryan Preston, PJ Media:  "How Barack Obama’s ‘Tone’ Left Americans Defenseless and Abandoned in Benghazi"

Oh, now it's his "tone" that was responsible for Benghazi.  Eight months and millions of dollars spent trying to cook up a scandal here, and now you're claiming that it all happened because he isn't a foaming-at-the-mouth warmonger like John McCain.  We tried the warmongers under the last administration.  Not 4 Americans dead, 4600.  How did that work out for you?

Rick Moran, PJ Media:  "What Did the President Know About the IRS Scandal and When Did He Know It?"

See, if we just use the same words as they used for Nixon, that makes Obama just the same as Nixon.

And now, a perfect example of what right wingers have to complain about when they can't find a real Obama scandal in five years:

John Boot, PJ Media:  "Into Nonsense: 4 Ways The New Star Trek Shills for Surrender in the War on Terror...If J.J. Abrams and his screenwriters had their way Obama would not have even taken out Osama bin Laden..."

Star Trek Liberal appeasement.  No, I haven't seen the movie, but if you don't think this is one of the biggest loads of crap you've ever heard, you're brain dead.  I've worked on about fifty movies, and twenty or thirty TV shows, and I don't really remember ever sitting around talking about how to use our shows to "shill for surrender in the war on terror."  Just how stupid are these people, or how stupid do they think everyone else is?

Paula Boyard, PJ Media:  "Can the Left and Right Find Common Ground on Common Core and High-Stakes Testing?"

No.  Not as long as the right's only interest in education continues to be turning it over to for-profit companies.

Richard Fernandez, PJ Media:  "The most striking characteristic emerging from accounts of the IRS audits of the administration’s political enemies is the sheer, unbridled malevolence of them. It was, like a friend told me over dinner, as if we had suddenly awoken “in the middle of the third Obama term” to find everything that could never happen, all that was said to be impossible — indeed unthinkable — suddenly upon us."

Everything?  You mean Sharia law and Communist dictatorship and tens of millions of Christians murdered and concentration camps and all right wing media shut down and worldwide economic collapse and Al Qaida having seats in the cabinet and the military marching in the streets seizing everyone's guns and a foreign spy in the White House and the U.N. taking control of the country and all the other things like that which you have been predicting for five years now?  Boy, it must have happened since breakfast, because I hadn't heard about any of that.

Fred Hutchinson, Renew America:  "Cosmic evil and terrorism...The war by America, Britain, and Israel against Islamist terrorism is destined to be a long war in which all the depths of good and evil will be sounded. This essay concerns the question of whether or not Islamist terrorism is a "cosmic evil."  Today's Islamist terrorists are clearly evil – but are they a cosmic evil?"

Let me try to explain this to you, Fred.  Islamic terrorists:

Cosmic evil:

See?  Not the same thing at all.  Now, go back to your nap.

Michael Barone, Town Hall:  "IRS and AP Scandals Cast a Big Chill on Free Speech "

Yeah, they drove you right off the internet, right, Michael?

Worst Headline of the Day:

Shawn Mitchell, Town Hall:  "Listening to the Pimp with the Limp"


Bryan Preston, PJ Media:  "Barack Obama’s ‘Tone’ Left Americans Defenseless and Abandoned in Benghazi"

Right.  It was Barack Obama's 'tone," not the $400 million that Republicans cut from the State Department's security budget.  So glad I understand it all now.

Noah Beck, Amereican Thinker:  "Obama-gate and World War III...Americans are the biggest losers from the slew of scandals now rocking the White House, but who are the biggest winners?  Iran, North Korea, Syria, China, and Russia."

Yes, three phony scandals ALL AT ONCE!!!! And they are going to start WORLD WAR III...Oh my God, oh my God, what are we ever going to do?!!?!?? 

Unfortunately, I have to agree with Noah here, on some level.  When one of our parties turns into a pack of subversive traitors determined to destroy our government's ability to function, who could benefit more than our enemies?  Good work there, Republicans.

And let's move on the the most laughable right wing nonsense of the decade:

William Sullivan, American Thinker:  "If Government Were a Business, Obama Would Already Be Fired...In the world of business, and in the real world outside government, leadership is invariably implicated in failure"

Oh right, William, just like all those bank CEOs and Wall Street guys who were fired for destroying the economy in 2008.  No, if we really ran the government like a business, every time Obama screwed up, we'd give him a ten million dollar bonus.

C. Edmund Wright, American Thinker:  "How to Bring the Right (Yes, All of Them) Together

Well, I can't say that I actually read much of Mr. Wright's article, but here's my suggestion of how to bring the right (yes, all of them) together:

It's worked before.

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "Whoa: US Hasn't Detained Five Benghazi Terrorists Due to Trial-Related Evidentiary Concerns"

Of course that might be because the crime was committed in another country and it would take an act of aggression against them to capture the five guys.  But hey, We're America, Buddy.  We go where we want and do what we want! 

I wonder how people like Guy would take it if, say, the Iraqis came over here and seized Bush and Cheney for killing a few hundred thousand of their people.  But of course, that's different, right?

John Hayward, Human Events:  "Everyone at the White House knew about the IRS scandal, except the President"

Just think about the last administration, where everyone knew how to tie their own shoes except the President.

Roger Simon, PJ Media:  "PJM EXCLUSIVE: Ex-Diplomats Report New Benghazi Whistleblowers with Info Devastating to Clinton and Obama...According to the diplomats, what these whistleblowers will say will be at least as explosive as what we have already learned about the scandal"

Which is to say, nothing.

And now a perfect example of why Conservatives are soulless monsters:

PJ Tatler:  "Allen West to Receive ‘Heroes of Conscience Award’"

Allen West was forced out of the military for toturing prisoners.  What a hero of conscience.

Late Correction:  I've now determined that the photo above that I identified as Islamic terrorists is actually a shot of people celebrating the opening of the first Jack in the Box in Teheran.  Their masks got a little crushed in shipping.


Grung_e_Gene said...

How dare you Green Eagle! How dare you, Sir!

Cthulhu is beyond your petty human concepts of Good and Evil!

Green Eagle said...

Yes, but he is a cosmic creature. You can't deny that.

May I add that I agree totally with Jose Luis Borges that Lovecraft was one of the ten greatest authors of the twentieth century.