Thursday, February 7, 2013

Wingnut Wrapup

The pickings have been a little thin lately; wingnuts seem to have lost their mojo or something.  Well, just because they are acting particularly stupid these days, don't think Green Eagle is going to stop kicking them when they are down:

Peter Heck, American Thinker:  "Beyonce's Pig Snout...Beyonce wasn't portraying beauty last night. She was portraying a woman with no discretion who feels she must degrade her body in order to gain fame, money and the attention of unprincipled men"

Sorry, Peter, Beyonce already has fame, money and the attention of unprincipled men- all she can handle.  The real message here:  Even though she has been voted the most beautiful woman in the world, she is still really an animalistic pig, because she's black.  Of course, Peter would deny that, and claim I am the real racist for pointing this out, but so what?  What decent person on earth would care about what human garbage like Peter has to say for himself?

Now, news we don't care about in the least:

Sandy Fitzgerald, Newsmax:  "Palin Mourns “American Sniper” Kyle's Death"

Like I said, is there anyone in the country that cares?

Dick Morris, Newsmax:  "Obama Causing Double Dip Recession"

Hurray!  Perfect proof that the economy is about to take off on an absolutely unheard of period of record growth!

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Sandy Hook Father: My Child Is Safer at Home Where I am Armed"


No, he is not.  He is actually far more likely to suffer a gunshot wound or to kill himself than he would be almost anywhere else.  Quit telling us these lies, you evil monster.

And a new pseudo-scandal:

Kyle Olson, Town Hall:  "Texas 6th Graders Design Flags for a New Socialist Nation"

The horror!  Actually, the lesson was about how socialist countries use symbols for propaganda purposes:

"Wade Lebay was even asked to read part of a sixth-grade lesson plan that showed different countries' flags and instructed students to ‘notice that socialist and communist countries use symbolism on their flags’"

 Seems like wingnuts might be interested in having kids learn that, but no...not when it stands in the way of more anti-left jingoism.  Sorry, Kyle, this is one scandal that everyone will have forgotten about by tomorrow.  Except for your fellow loons, of course, who will still be shreiking about it twenty years from now.

And now another scandal that will wither on the vine:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Obama Berates Cameraman During Press Conference ... During his press conference today on fiscal issues and the upcoming sequester, Barack Obama lashed out at a cameraman in the Briefing Room"

And here's Barack, "lashing out:"



Man, that was really a mean spirited attack, huh?  Where would we be without your witty contributions to our discourse, Jim?  After all, you didn't earn the nickname "the dumbest guy on the internet" by keeping your mouth shut when you didn't have anything to say.  But wait, Jim isn't done with the idiocy for today:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Pakistan Plans Amusement Park in Abbottabad – Where OBL Was Killed"

God forbid!  Let me first note that this amusement park is just that-an amusement park.  It has absolutely nothing to do with Osama or Al Qaida.  But apparently, because Osama lived there, this city of 881,000 people has no right to do anything but wither away and vanish from the face of the earth.  Man, I hate to think about what that means we should do with Jim's home town of St. Louis.  Would mass slaughter and salting of the earth be enough, or do we need to use a hydrogen bomb?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Universal Background Checks Lead to Confiscation and Extermination.  That’s how it goes in history."

Illustrated with the following oh-so-relevant picture:



Of course, when it goes like that in history is never explained.  Perhaps because it never went like that in history.  Particularly with the Nazis, who managed to establish a complete totalitarian dictatorship without changing the gun laws in Germany one bit.  But hey, guys, keep on running around screaming Hitler and pretending that he was a left winger.  Look how well it's doing for you.  Oh, and did I mention that Jim Hoft is the dumbest guy on the internet?  I did?  Well, it never hurts to repeat the truth.

Armand C. Hale, Renew America:  "Making of a totalitarian state...The Emperor in Chief would just relish in the disarming of every law abiding citizen. This is his belief in line of his notion of transforming America. This transformation would not be for the best, I can assure you.  And know that once something is banned, it will be easier to ban other things. The government will make an argument for banning anything they so determine to be in the best interest of society."

Well then, let's just give up.  We were screwed ever since the day the government banned murder and burglary.  Armand makes this sage observation:

"Countries where the citizens have turned in their weapons now regret taking that step."

Of course he doesn't mention a single example, because there isn't one.  Like right wingers everywhere, Armand just invented a "fact" to support his unsupportable position.  But wait, there's more:

"We cannot be sheep being lead to the slaughter which is what the Emperor in Chief wants to see in order to consolidate more power for himself. As long as we have a free will to fight back with whatever means available, then we will do just that."

You will not do that, Armand.  You will use your free will to run home and hide under mommy's bed, while wimpering out your lies.  What we need in this country are more people who are not afraid to look at the truth, not more paranoid, scared little nothings parroting their obscene smears of the President.

Laurie Roth, American Thinker:  "If Islamic males can't control themselves, is castration the answer?"

Laurie, if you can't control your hatred, is lobotomy the answer?  Okay, okay, we're tied in the stupidity of that exchange.  Congratulations, Laurie, you almost won an argument with a parrot.

Larry Elder, Town Hall:  "'Zero Dark Thirty' Threatens the 'Bush-the-Incompetent' Narrative "


No it doesn't.  'Zero Dark Thirty' is fiction, Larry.  What you are saying is like insisting "Winnie the Pooh" threatens the "Bears can't talk" narrative.  Bush is (let me remind you) the worst President in the history of the country.  That will be true (we can only hope) for ever.  He was the most corrupt President ever, the most incompetent militarily, the stupidest, the most ignorant of the basics of American democracy, the most in thrall to idiotic economic policies...I can go on here as you well know.  We have had horrible Presidents like Warren G. Harding and his pack of corrupt associates, James Buchanan, whose incompetence and disengagement allowed the United States to slide into the Civil War, and others with fatal flaws, but none ever approached Bush in uniting every single possible failure in a single person.  And no, we are not going to be bullied into forgetting that fact.

Michael Barone:  "At Last, Republicans Make Their Case to Main Street"

Michael, the Republicans have been making their case to main street for decades.  That's not the problem.  The problem is that main street fell for it and let them try their ideas out.  The result: the near destruction of the country.  They made their case, alright.  The problem is that main street isn't falling for it any more, after seeing what happened last time.  Now, if what you really mean is "At last, Republicans can come up with a whole new set of lies to manipulate people into giving the country to the rich," well, I think you are on course there, because that's what they are going to do.

David Harsanyi, Town Hall:  "Rove has a point...Purely as a tactical matter, why not weed out inept -- or insane -- candidates before they start spouting off about a woman's organic ability to prevent pregnancy when raped?"

Because insane candidates are the only ones your base will support, David.  Without them, you're toast.

Cliff May, Town Hall:  "It’s difficult not to like Salam Fayyad. The prime minister of the Palestinian Authority has an avuncular demeanor and old-fashioned professorial charm. He boasts a doctorate in economics from the University of Texas at Austin and remains loyal to the Longhorns."

He went to school in TEXAS?  No wonder the Palestinians are fucked.

And now, the How Many Right Wing Bugaboos Can We Fit In One Headline winner of the day:

Capital Research Center:  "Soros-Funded Pornographer Tries To Link Global Warming To Chicago's Horrific Murder Rate"

Soros...pornography...fake global warming claims...Chicago...murder.  Wow, the only thing they left out is Kenya.  I'm really sorry that I can't tell you what this was supposed to be about, because this headline linked to a story about police in China arresting someone for running over a toddler.  And no, I'm not kidding.

David Truman, PJ Media:  "Why Would Any American Need an AR-15? Zetas, That’s Why...Sen. Feinstein: tell Arizonans how a seven-shot pistol can hold off 20 butchers on their land at night. They're waiting."

This is the story of a rancher who was killed on his property near the Mexican border.  No one knows who killed him, but David is sure it was a Mexican drug gang.  If it had happened in Minnesota, I'm sure he would blame one of those terrifying Canadian drug gangs.  So, here's the balance:  One guy supposedly killed because he could allegedly have saved himself with an assault rifle, versus twenty dead school children who were killed with an assault rifle.  The kids?  Collateral damage- too damn bad.  That's the price we pay for our FREEDOM!  The rancher?  Why, even though we don't know a single fact about the nature of his murder, that is intolerable.  So glad to see David has his priorities straight.

Now, paranoid schizophrenia in action:

Rand Paul:  “I really think part of the cause may have been there was a gun running operation going on in Benghazi, leaving Libya and going to Turkey and distributing arms to the rebels… They’ve interviewed the captain of the ship. A ship from Libya sailed for Turkey a week before the ambassador was killed. It was full of arms and they interviewed the captain and he actually specifically talks about the distribution of the arms to Syrian rebels… And I think the administration needs to answer are they running guns through Turkey to Syria.”

No comment needed.  Or wanted either.  The sooner we forget that pile of garbage, the better.

Ted Nugent, World Net Daily:  "LET ME BE FREE!"


How about this deal, Ted?  You stop threatening to kill the President, and we'll let you be free.  Sounds fair to me. 

White Children Get Very Bad News:  "JEW THAT RUN THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT GET NEGROES TO BEAT WHITES[THIS JUST HAPPENS TO BE A BLACK BUT JEWS WANT WHITES TO THE BE THE VICTIMS]] UNTIL THEIR HEADS EXPLODE"


I think my head just did explode- and I didn't even get a beating.  Here's a little more from this website:

"JEW NETWORKS ABC NBC FOX CNN CBS NPR PBS, HAVE A FLOOD OF THESE VIDEOS DAILY, BUT JEWS MAKE SURE WHITES NEVER SEE THEM"


The perfect way to make sure that whites never see their videos- put them on NBC, Fox, CNN, CBS, NPR and PBS.  Really using your brains there, Jews.

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