Wingnut Wrapup
After a few days in a near political coma, I've finally been able to plumb the depths of stupidity where what passes for right wing thought is stored. And here's the result:
Let's start with the paranoid delusion of the day:
Katie Pavlich, Town Hall: "Hezbollah Working With Mexican Drug Cartels Along Southern Border"
And what are Katie Pavlich's qualifications to have access to this information? She is a college Republican at the University of Arizona. So we are expected to just swallow her absolutely evidenceless charge. Be my guest, if you think that would be a good idea.
Bruce Bialosky, Town Hall: "The Feds’ Destruction of Our Home Values"
Yes, it was the feds who issued all of those corrupt bad loans. They must have infiltrated the banks and mortgage lenders en masse in order to pull that off. And who says the feds can't do anything right? Of all those thousands of loan officers out there, Bruce can't find a single one who admits to being a federal agent.
Kevin McCullogh, Town Hall: "A governor of a state, who was elected on a promise of trying to bring fiscal discipline to a state budget process, asks for small sacrifices..."
Freedom of assembly; freedom of speech; freedom to petition the government for redress of grievances; and in the end, the freedom to earn enough money to support your family. Small sacrifices. Yes sir.
Richard Pollock, Pajamas Media: "Why Obama and the Dems Blundered in Wisconsin...Another stunning political miscalculation..White House now disavowing involvement in Wisconsin protests."
This one, along with the numerous similar stories around the wingnutosphere today, needs some explanation. First, the right wingers invented the utter falsehood that the Wisconsin protests were being coordinated by the White House, which they harped on for days, even though the accusation was as real as the horseman of the Apocalypse that Fox claimed appeared in Egypt last week. And now that the White House has called them on their lie, its statements are being cited as an example of weak Obama collapsing when things get tough. You just can't win with these guys. Obama could bring about the second coming of Jesus Christ, and it would somehow be portrayed by these people as an abject failure on his part. Here's another piece along the same lines:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Sad. Obama Administration Lies About Meddling in Wisconsin Union Dispute...Unfortunately, for the Obama Administration, Doug Ross discovered that they tweeted about it last week."
A tweet. And a tweet from someone named Brad Woodhouse whose position at the White House is...nothing! He doesn't work for the Executive branch in any way, but admittedly, he is a Democrat, and so must be a slave to Barack Obama, transmitting Obama's brain waves in his tweets.
And while we are visiting with Jim Hoft, here is another one of his serial lies about the size of teabagger demonstrations:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Jim Hoft Addresses MASSIVE Tea Party Rally in Madison, Wisconsin"
A tea party rally which, despite being funded by our friends the Koch brothers (as usual) was estimated by the local press to be about one tenth the size of the anti-fascist people's demonstrations in Madison.
Gary Wickert, Pajamas Media: "The Facts on Wisconsin: What the Unions Want, and Why It's Insane "
The unions want the State to keep the bargain that it agreed to in legal contract negotiations. It's insane because it doesn't leave enough money for rich people. Mr. Wickert continues:
"Only thirty states have such collective bargaining agreements."
"Only" thirty states. Let's see, that would be a healthy majority, right? Or have my math skills deserted me in my old age? And while we're on the subject, can I remind you that a lot of the States that don't are the same ones that fought a war to preserve, oh, what was it called now? Oh yeah, slavery. So I'm not sure they are the best guides to what is appropriate in the way of human rights.
Art Horn, Pajamas Media: "Congress to NASA: Study Space! (Not Climate. That's Not Space.)"
Last I heard, that was the National Aeronautic and Space Agency. Aeronautics has to do with the atmosphere, and in case you never noticed, that's where climate occurs. Idiot.
Henry Lamb, Renew America: "Who controls your state?"
Governor Moonbeam, for your information, Henry. And you can't believe how happy we are, after years of the Governator.
Henry J. Reske, Newsmax: "Christians must mobilize now if they are to have any hope in generating the momentum to turn President Barack Obama out of office in 2012, says legendary singer and conservative activist Pat Boone."
Really? Can I ask a question here? Who gives a flying fuck what Pat Boone has to say about anything?
Chuck Norris, World Net Daily: "Feds and unions: Foes to educational reform"
See my response to the above item.
Of course, Bush invading a foreign country and killing a million of its people was not " an act of imperialistic aggression." It was a brilliant foreign policy triumph. Until it totally failed. But Obama making a couple of speeches- now, that's aggression.
Town Hall: "Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour is accusing President Barack Obama of paying lip service to job creation. "
Well, other than the fact that he created more jobs in 2010 than Bush and Cheney did in eight years, I guess it is nothing but lip service.
World Net Daily: "Palin wades into Wisconsin budget debate"
Oh, that's got to be helpful. Unless they're talking about Michael Palin.
Astute Bloggers: "IF YOUR DISHWASHER AIN'T WORKING VERY WELL LATELY DON'T BLAME THE MACHINE: BLAME OBAMA!"
And they mean it too. Like I've said so many times before, everything is Obama's fault. God know how much blame he bears if your toilet gets stopped up.
Astute Bloggers: "MORE CHILD MOLESTATION IN THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: POPE MARRIES 9 YEAR OLD GIRL! I THINK THAT MAKES HIM A CHILD MOLESTER. OH. SORRY. IT WASN'T THE POPE. IT WAS MOHAMED."
Let's ignore the sheer offensiveness of this comment for a moment, and just concentrate on its claim. Why would the Pope marry a nine year old when, being a Catholic priest, he can have all the nine year olds he wants without tying the knot? You know what they say, why buy the cow when the milk is free? And by the way, sexual perversion committed by one religion every day, all over the world, right now, bothers me a hell of a lot more than one episode of sexual deviancy that occurred fifteen hundred years ago.
Right Wing News: "Rumsfeld: POTUS ‘Has Made a Practice of Trying to Apologize for America’
Maybe Rumsfeld should have thought of this before he did so many things that needed apologies.
Dan Riehl, Riehl World View: "Gov. Walker on Wisconsin democrats: “Democracy is not about hiding out in another state"
Dan, it's not about bringing out the military to shoot protesters either. Think about it.
Astute Blogger: "KADDAFY IN LIBYA JAMMING AL JAZEERA SIGNAL...ALL TYRANNIES NEED TO CONTROL THE NEWS IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN CONTROL OVER THE PEOPLE. (THEY DO THIS IN CHINA, TOO.)"
Funny, the astute ones forgot to mention that you can't get Al Jazeera right here in America either. Apparently, what news we are allowed to hear isn't relevant. After all, you can learn everything you need to know from the sources that make it into Wingnut Wrapup, right?
And let me leave you with this gem of conservative political thought:
Jim Kouri, National Examiner: "Jackboot politics: IRS hiring thousands of new workers"
Yes sir, expecting people to pay their taxes is exactly like the Nazis. The essence of conservatism in a single sentence.
Let's start with the paranoid delusion of the day:
Katie Pavlich, Town Hall: "Hezbollah Working With Mexican Drug Cartels Along Southern Border"
And what are Katie Pavlich's qualifications to have access to this information? She is a college Republican at the University of Arizona. So we are expected to just swallow her absolutely evidenceless charge. Be my guest, if you think that would be a good idea.
Bruce Bialosky, Town Hall: "The Feds’ Destruction of Our Home Values"
Yes, it was the feds who issued all of those corrupt bad loans. They must have infiltrated the banks and mortgage lenders en masse in order to pull that off. And who says the feds can't do anything right? Of all those thousands of loan officers out there, Bruce can't find a single one who admits to being a federal agent.
Kevin McCullogh, Town Hall: "A governor of a state, who was elected on a promise of trying to bring fiscal discipline to a state budget process, asks for small sacrifices..."
Freedom of assembly; freedom of speech; freedom to petition the government for redress of grievances; and in the end, the freedom to earn enough money to support your family. Small sacrifices. Yes sir.
Richard Pollock, Pajamas Media: "Why Obama and the Dems Blundered in Wisconsin...Another stunning political miscalculation..White House now disavowing involvement in Wisconsin protests."
This one, along with the numerous similar stories around the wingnutosphere today, needs some explanation. First, the right wingers invented the utter falsehood that the Wisconsin protests were being coordinated by the White House, which they harped on for days, even though the accusation was as real as the horseman of the Apocalypse that Fox claimed appeared in Egypt last week. And now that the White House has called them on their lie, its statements are being cited as an example of weak Obama collapsing when things get tough. You just can't win with these guys. Obama could bring about the second coming of Jesus Christ, and it would somehow be portrayed by these people as an abject failure on his part. Here's another piece along the same lines:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Sad. Obama Administration Lies About Meddling in Wisconsin Union Dispute...Unfortunately, for the Obama Administration, Doug Ross discovered that they tweeted about it last week."
A tweet. And a tweet from someone named Brad Woodhouse whose position at the White House is...nothing! He doesn't work for the Executive branch in any way, but admittedly, he is a Democrat, and so must be a slave to Barack Obama, transmitting Obama's brain waves in his tweets.
And while we are visiting with Jim Hoft, here is another one of his serial lies about the size of teabagger demonstrations:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Jim Hoft Addresses MASSIVE Tea Party Rally in Madison, Wisconsin"
A tea party rally which, despite being funded by our friends the Koch brothers (as usual) was estimated by the local press to be about one tenth the size of the anti-fascist people's demonstrations in Madison.
Gary Wickert, Pajamas Media: "The Facts on Wisconsin: What the Unions Want, and Why It's Insane "
The unions want the State to keep the bargain that it agreed to in legal contract negotiations. It's insane because it doesn't leave enough money for rich people. Mr. Wickert continues:
"Only thirty states have such collective bargaining agreements."
"Only" thirty states. Let's see, that would be a healthy majority, right? Or have my math skills deserted me in my old age? And while we're on the subject, can I remind you that a lot of the States that don't are the same ones that fought a war to preserve, oh, what was it called now? Oh yeah, slavery. So I'm not sure they are the best guides to what is appropriate in the way of human rights.
Art Horn, Pajamas Media: "Congress to NASA: Study Space! (Not Climate. That's Not Space.)"
Last I heard, that was the National Aeronautic and Space Agency. Aeronautics has to do with the atmosphere, and in case you never noticed, that's where climate occurs. Idiot.
Henry Lamb, Renew America: "Who controls your state?"
Governor Moonbeam, for your information, Henry. And you can't believe how happy we are, after years of the Governator.
Henry J. Reske, Newsmax: "Christians must mobilize now if they are to have any hope in generating the momentum to turn President Barack Obama out of office in 2012, says legendary singer and conservative activist Pat Boone."
Really? Can I ask a question here? Who gives a flying fuck what Pat Boone has to say about anything?
Chuck Norris, World Net Daily: "Feds and unions: Foes to educational reform"
See my response to the above item.
James Lewis, American Thinker: "We’ve just watched Obama commit an act of imperialistic aggression against a peaceful sovereign state. Mubarak’s Egypt threatened no one. It was the great pillar of stability in the Middle East for thirty years."
Of course, Bush invading a foreign country and killing a million of its people was not " an act of imperialistic aggression." It was a brilliant foreign policy triumph. Until it totally failed. But Obama making a couple of speeches- now, that's aggression.
Town Hall: "Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour is accusing President Barack Obama of paying lip service to job creation. "
Well, other than the fact that he created more jobs in 2010 than Bush and Cheney did in eight years, I guess it is nothing but lip service.
World Net Daily: "Palin wades into Wisconsin budget debate"
Oh, that's got to be helpful. Unless they're talking about Michael Palin.
Astute Bloggers: "IF YOUR DISHWASHER AIN'T WORKING VERY WELL LATELY DON'T BLAME THE MACHINE: BLAME OBAMA!"
And they mean it too. Like I've said so many times before, everything is Obama's fault. God know how much blame he bears if your toilet gets stopped up.
Astute Bloggers: "MORE CHILD MOLESTATION IN THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: POPE MARRIES 9 YEAR OLD GIRL! I THINK THAT MAKES HIM A CHILD MOLESTER. OH. SORRY. IT WASN'T THE POPE. IT WAS MOHAMED."
Let's ignore the sheer offensiveness of this comment for a moment, and just concentrate on its claim. Why would the Pope marry a nine year old when, being a Catholic priest, he can have all the nine year olds he wants without tying the knot? You know what they say, why buy the cow when the milk is free? And by the way, sexual perversion committed by one religion every day, all over the world, right now, bothers me a hell of a lot more than one episode of sexual deviancy that occurred fifteen hundred years ago.
Right Wing News: "Rumsfeld: POTUS ‘Has Made a Practice of Trying to Apologize for America’
Maybe Rumsfeld should have thought of this before he did so many things that needed apologies.
Dan Riehl, Riehl World View: "Gov. Walker on Wisconsin democrats: “Democracy is not about hiding out in another state"
Dan, it's not about bringing out the military to shoot protesters either. Think about it.
Astute Blogger: "KADDAFY IN LIBYA JAMMING AL JAZEERA SIGNAL...ALL TYRANNIES NEED TO CONTROL THE NEWS IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN CONTROL OVER THE PEOPLE. (THEY DO THIS IN CHINA, TOO.)"
Funny, the astute ones forgot to mention that you can't get Al Jazeera right here in America either. Apparently, what news we are allowed to hear isn't relevant. After all, you can learn everything you need to know from the sources that make it into Wingnut Wrapup, right?
And let me leave you with this gem of conservative political thought:
Yes sir, expecting people to pay their taxes is exactly like the Nazis. The essence of conservatism in a single sentence.
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