Monday, February 7, 2011

Wingnut Wrapup

Well, if we're going down, let's try to go down laughing:

Joel Mowbray, Town Hall:  "To Fix Middle East, Obama Must Ignore "Experts"

Well, the conservative solution to everything involves ignoring the experts, so why should this be any different?

Jennifer Rubin, Washington Post:  "Every Democrat in the Senate is on record as supporting the health-spending bill"

Of course every Republican in the Senate is on record as favoring kicking millions of children off of their parents' health insurance.  By the way, don't you love it that the bill is now the "health-spending" bill?  I guess it isn't even about medical care any more, just about spending money for the hell of it.

Claudia Rosett, Pajamas Media:  "UN and U.S. Double Standards: Egypt vs. Iran"

Because the fact that they are two different countries in two different situations doesn't mean we should treat them differently.  They are all Muslims, after all.  Probably we should just bomb both countries back into the stone age.

Michael Ledeen, Pajamas Media:  "...if you pull the plug on (a) tyrant, you send two very dangerous messages. You tell all our allies that we’re weak and unreliable...And you tell all our enemies that we are weak and will run at the first sign of trouble."

That's right- If we don't support a dictator's God given right to beat the crap out of his own people, we reveal ourselves to be a bunch of weak pussies, and probably gay too.  Conservative thinking in a nutshell, from one of the right's leading foreign policy experts.

Matt Abbot, Renew America:  "The Splendor of a Catholic Education"

Particularly those after-school one-on-one sessions with Father Bryan.

Lisa Fabrizio, Renew America:  "Evicting Jesus?"

No, we'd never do that.  We're simply foreclosing on his upside-down mortgage.  Nothing personal, just business, you know.

Chuck Baldwin, Renew America:  "State-owned churches are killing America"

Chuck, what in the name of hell are you talking about?

Jonah Goldberg, National Review Online:  "For the Left, the only good conservative is a dead conservative."

Wrong, Jonah.  There are no good conservatives.  Ronald Reagan is dead and he's still wrecking the country.

Ken Blackwell, Town Hall:  "What Would Reagan Do About Egypt?"

Oh I don't know, maybe send a bunch of American troops over there to get blown up, like he did in Lebanon?  Or maybe illegaly sell the Muslim terrorists two thousand missiles, like he did in Iran.

Ken continues with this heroic account of Reagan's struggle for freedom:

"As president, Ronald Reagan ordered his CIA Director William Casey to make sure that Poland’s Solidarity union got fax machines and copiers... Reagan would not allow Solidarity to be crushed by Poland’s Communist puppet regime."

And the fax machines and copiers made all the difference.  Ronald Reagan to the rescue again.  By this standard, the world's greatest defender of freedom is Office Depot.

And now, for the lunacy of the day:

Drew Zahn, World Net Daily:  "A mysterious, pale green figure seen in televised news coverage of the Egyptian riots has prompted some viewers to ask, "Could this be the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse?"

And they wonder over there why no one takes them seriously as a news outlet.  But World Net Daily is not done with the religious lunacy:

World Net Daily:  "From the pit of hell, 'Avatar's' maker cometh...Exclusive: Drew Zahn asks if 'Sanctum' reveals mega-director's true identity"

Yes indeed, World Net Daily is seriously proposing that James Cameron may be the Antichrist.  I mean, I know some people who have worked on his movies that might agree, but really, there is no end to the willful stupidity of these people.

Michael Reagan, World Net Daily:  "Michael Reagan: 'Dad lived with grass-roots America'

On his multimillion dollar ranch in Santa Barbara, or maybe his $6 million dollar house in Brentwood.  Yup, the grass roots.

Victor Sharpe, American Thinker:  "Obama Well Knows What Chaos He Has Unleashed...Our president has now opened a Pandora's Box in the Middle East."

What an amazing guy!  Who knew that Obama, all by himself, caused the uprising in Egypt, which is, of course, a terrible thing because it threatens the rule of a dictator.  Victor "explains" himself:

"My fear is that Obama is not naïve at all, but he instead knows only too well what he is doing, for he is eagerly promoting Islamic power in the world"

Right.  That makes sense.  If you're really stupid and ignorant, and a racist asshole to boot.

Star Parker, Town Hall:  "If We Want to Promote Freedom, How About Starting at Home?"

By cutting regulation on corporations, that's Star's notion of promoting freedom.  Surprised?  Isn't it a wonderful thing to have discovered a single answer for every problem in the world?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pudit:  "Socialist in Chief: Obama Tells American Businessess That Profits Must Be Shared With Workers"

What a disgusting idea.  Workers should work for free, so business owners can keep all of the profits.  Just like in the South, up until the War of Northern Aggression ruined freedom for ever.

World Net Daily:  "Soros fingerprints on Mideast chaos...Billionaire tied to opposition leader, funded groups opposing U.S. allies"

"Opposition leader."  That would be Mohammed al Baradei.  Yes, that malignant George Soros has ties to a Nobel Peace Prize winner.  What better proof could you have that he is totally evil?

Myra Adams, Pajamas Media:  "Obama vs. Gingrich — Winning the Future...Is Newt the GOP's best hope for change in 2012?"

If he is, man are you guys in trouble.


Poll P. said...

Good one. I thought that "Sanctum" movie looked just for boys....from helllllll!!!!

magpie said...

DrewZahn.... DrewwwwwZaaaaaahn.

Wasn’t he a special effect in Ghostbusters?
( “...someone blows their nose and you want to keep it?” )

And is the best the Antichrist can do is become a film director from Canada...?
Not, say... an arms manufacturer, or a bio-weapons researcher, or a militia leader in the Congo, or a terrorist, or a serial killer... or anything like that...?

Dave Dubya said...

Only Hell's own director can make a film about a native population retaliating against a corporation and its American mercenaries bent on destroying their world for profit. It's a sacrilegious and insulting attack on Holy Halliburton and Blackwater, agents of the Lord.