I've given Wingnut Wrapup a little rest, while the worst of the teabaggers' crowing about their wonderful victory in having voted to sink themselves further into third-world poverty dies down. But now, it's time for mighty Green Eagle to sink his beak in again. I hope you're ready. The fate of the whole free world may depend on one lonely, but very angry parrot. Wherever that free world is these days:
Let's start off with the Conservative Quote of the Day, from Renew America:
"I have often been accused of putting my foot in my mouth, but I will never put my hand in your pocket." — Spiro Agnew"
No, he'll never put his hand in our pockets. This would be, in case you have forgotten, convicted extortionist and bribe taker Spiro Agnew.
Guy Benson, Town Hall: "Is There a Battle Brewing for the Soul of the GOP?"
Come on, get serious...What soul?
Ken Connor, Town Hall: "Hell No, She Won't Go...Since (with the exception of the President) no one represents the face of the Left more than Nancy Pelosi, a sizable cadre of Democrats have made it clear that they'd like to see her step aside as the top Democrat in the House. Much to their chagrin, however, Ms. Pelosi is unwilling to cooperate."
The "sizable cadre" coming from a Fox News story which couldn't produce a name of a single Democrat taking that position. But still, it's Nancy Pelosi's responsibility to do what the Republicans want her to. The Republicans, and the imaginary Democrats who get "quoted" on Fox News.
And now, today's trophy for the most smears in one blog post:
Oliver North, Town Hall: "The world's most famous teleprompter reader ...the most expensive foreign junket ever taken by an American head of state...Obama is incapable of shaping events...he still panders to every audience...his obsequious bows to foreign potentates and apologies for America's misdeeds...he continued to whine about trade imbalances and currency manipulation...ignored American troops in harm's way by treating Iraq and Afghanistan like flyover country..."
Did he manage to get them all in there? Nope, not quite. He forgot the witch doctor thing. Listen, Ollie, the next time we need advice from a drug dealing traitor, we'll get right back to you. Until then, please, STFU.
Bob Owens, Confederate Yankee: "Soros also has no regrets about collaborating with the Nazis, so that tells you something about his moral character."
Listen, Mr. Yankee, do you think that could be because he didn't collaborate with Nazis, having been 14 years old at the time? But, of course, no antisemitic lie is too debased for the American right, so keep shouting out your hatred. This is what things are coming to, folks. Take notice, any of you out there that foolishly thought that there is anything the Nazis did that is too contemptible to be adopted by the American right. Fascism seems to be the same, whenever and wherever it crops up, and unfortunately, the manifest fact that we are the Greatest, Most Noble, Wonderful and Heroic Country in the History of the Universe and Everywhere Else Too, doesn't seem to be protecting us from fascism's worst degradations, for some reason. Maybe like Christine O'Donnell says, it's God's plan.
Confederate Yankee: "Criminals are the Reason to Buy Handguns To Protect Your Family. Totalitarian Liberals are the Reason You Buy Battle Rifles"
And these are the people that we are supposed to regard as our bipartisan partners. We're supposed to treat them like our best friends while they are threatening to kill us. No thanks. By the way, Confederate Yankee, the real reason why people like you buy battle rifles is usually because they have very small penises.
Charlie Martin, Pajamas Media: "Goldfinger’s Law: Obama Claims He’s Not Anti-Business, But His Policies Give Him Away"
The policies that resulted in this: "U.S. corporations are on track for the biggest earnings growth in 22 years and the stock market is headed for its best back-to- back annual gains since 2004." But no, George and Dick did so much more for business. They really left the business world in great shape.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "They Cut Off My Beard and Forced Me to Eat It"
Henry Lamb, Renew America: "Repeal Obamacare -- and then the 17th Amendment"
Yeah, and then that stupid thing about no slaves, and then the evil part about no establishment of religion and then....In fact, let's repeal all of it except the part where it says we are allowed to shoot liberals, and replace it with something sensible, like no taxes on the rich. That's the world that wingnuts want to live in. You know, the ones that want to return to the Constitution.
And here's today's Story That You Just Know is a Crock, Before You Even Begin to Read it:
World Net Daily: "High Court considers barring Christian foster parents"
Sure, sure. Man, these people will believe anything.
Astute Bloggers: "Obama as Arafat...I can go with that; ugly, corrupt, a liar, a muslim!"
Projecting a little, huh, guys. Except the Muslim part. I mean, you guys would never join a religion that thinks it's okay to go halfway around the world to kill people of another faith.
Astute Bloggers: "BARBARA BUSH: DUBYA WAS FIRST JEWISH PRESIDENT"
Pardon my French, but fuck you, bitch. Hope I'm clear there. Well, that just about brought an end to my appetite for wingnuts today. Bye all.