Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Wingnut Wrapup

I've been sort of neglecting my menagerie of trained jackasses lately, and frankly, I've gotten a little tired of the same old lies.  Well, it's time to take another walk along this fetid stream, so here goes:

John Ransom, Town Hall:  "Putin, Not Obama, is the Messiah"

Well, here is where you end up when nothing on earth is more important than smearing liberals:  Russia's shiny new neo-Communist dictator is the right's new idol.   God in heaven above, these people are a waste of food and water.

NRA-ILA, Town Hall:  "Un-Constitutional: 300,000 gun owners face jail time"

Unfortunately for them, it appears to be perfectly Constitutional for the State of Connecticut to require people to register their firearms.  Maybe by "unconstitutional," they meant their mass refusal to follow a simple law, because of their deliberate misconstrual of the second amendment.

The article continues:

"Tell Congress to vote NO on Obama's national gun registration scheme by signing this very important NRA-ILA petition today."

Of course, that is unlikely to accomplish much seeing as how everyone (except right wing dupes) knows that there is not and has never been such a thing as "Obama's national gun registration scheme."  Not that the NRA will stop attempting to milk the rubes with this lie.  Because believe me, milking the rubes is all this is about.

Town Hall:  "Paul Ryan: Obama is Uncomfortable with America’s Superpower Responsibilities"

And that is a bad thing?  As opposed to, say, Dick Cheney, who was perfectly comfortable about throwing our military might around for no purpose at all, at a cost of $3 trillion or so?  I think it is a very good thing for the man who weilds so much power to be a little uncomfortable with it, rather than foaming at the mouth to start another war.

Town Hall:  "Afghan Taliban Order Fighters to Disrupt the Vote"

What fools.  It's so much cheaper to just pass laws to make it nearly impossible for members of the other party to vote.

Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall:  "Palin: "I Do Not Like This Uncle Sam, I Do Not Like His Health Care Scam"

You know what, I don't like stupid, greedy demagogues either, but I guess I'm stuck with this one.  Ashamed yet, Mr. McCain?

Caleb Howe, Red State:  "Ted Cruz: Republicans Win When They Paint in Bold Colors"

I.e. when they lie enough.  Can't argue with that, I guess.

George Landrith, Human Events:  "A message Obama needs to deliver and Putin needs to hear-An expanded missile defense shield."

Ha ha.  Let's spend tens of billions more on a "defense" system that Republicans have been pushing since Reagan, and which has never shown one shred of likelihood that it will ever work.  That is, unless you define "working" as transferring a lot more money to rich people, for nothing in return.  This is almost as disingenuous as Rand Paul's idea to just slap that old Mr. Putin right in the face by doing away with all American regulation of oil drilling.  Yeah, that's the answer.

Roger Simon, PJ Media:  "Why Rand Paul Is Winning"

Forget Roger's crap.  Rand Paul is winning (among Conservatives, that is) because right wingers are really stupid.

Jack Dunphy, PJ Media:  "A ‘Warrantless’ Search Is Not the Same as an ‘Unreasonable’ Search"

I love this one- a perfect specimen of Conservatives' blatantly dishonest quotation of the Constitution.  Mr. Dunphy would have you believe that warrantless searches can be legal because they don't violate the fourth amendment prohibition on unreasonable searches.  Well, here's the whole fourth amendment:

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

See?  The ban on warrantless searches is not dependant on the clause about unreasonable searches, but on specific language in the very same sentence, which Mr. Dunphy simply ignored.

I have always suspected that these guys learned to quote the Constitution from their Fundamentalist preachers quoting the bible with equal honesty.  Can't prove me wrong with this example.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "War on Women… MSNBC Calls Sarah Palin a Moron"

No, it's a war on morons, most of whom are decent people, not lying grifters out to make a fast buck at the expense of the American people.

Donald Hank, Renew America:  "John Bolton for president?"

Ha.  Ha ha.  Hahahahahaha.  Bolton.  Ha.  If only.  Please, Republicans- be my guest.

Michael Bargo Jr, American Thinker:  "Social Justice Crashed the Economy"

It's them damned jungle bunnies again.  Greedy, crooked banks and their Republican CEO's had nothing to do with it.

Chuck Norris, Town Hall:  "In the first two parts of this series, I explained the comparative dangers and health risks of alcohol and marijuana. To elevate one over the other is like saying a plain doughnut isn't so bad as a glazed one."

Of course, that thing about donuts just happens to be true.  Sorry, Chuck, you made a fool out of yourself again.

Todd Starnes, Town Hall:  "Hey, Harry Reid, is this Baptist Preacher a Liar, too? Pastor Hit by Truck Another ObamaCare Victim"

I know this is going to come as a huge surprise to you, but this Baptist Preacher is a liar.  He is going around blaming a rate hike from his insurance company on Obamacare:

"Matthew and his wife used to have insurance through Blue Cross/Blue Shield. Like many Americans, they received a letter in 2013 informing them of a hike in premiums. The couple had been paying $550 per month for their plan and Blue Cross was raising the rate by more than 15 percent. Even though they liked their insurance plan, Matthew said it was no longer in their budget."

See? absolutely nothing to do with Obamacare.  It was his insurance company that raised his rates, just like they've been doing for decades. He was a liar.

And now, the stupidest question of the day:

PJ Media:  "Rand Paul vs. Ted Cruz: Whose Foreign Policy Views Are More Like Ronald Reagan’s?"

Oh, I don't know, why don't we ask which one of the two would illegally and treasonously supply two thousand missiles to the Iranian mullahs?  That's what Reagan did.  And which one would let middle eastern terrorists blow up 241 American servicemen, and then turn tail and run?  Reagan did that too, and then eased his conscience by having a temper tantrum in our great geopolitical enemy, Grenada.  And which one of them would finance a gang of drug dealers to overthrow a legally elected government in Central America?  Well, both of them would probably go for that.  Anyway, I could go on here, but you get the point.

And Now, the Greatest Outrage Of The Day!!!!!!!

Town Hall:  "Collapse: WH Issues Blanket Waiver to Individual Mandate Tax Through 2016...The mandate is dead. Obama is repealing Obamacare himself." 

Heartland Institute  (i.e. the Koch Brothers):  "Six Types of Obamacare Waivers...You cannot listen to news about Obamacare without hearing about waivers" 

Heritage Foundation (i.e. the rest of the rich liars in America):  "To date, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has approved 1,372 Obamacare waivers, covering 3.1 million Americans."

And the list goes on and on...the Daily Caller, Breitbart, Michelle Malkin, the Washington Times, Human Events, the Weekly Standard, Red State, and on endlessly.  An immense circle of right wing sources of "information" all repeating whatever outrage the other is screaming about, and all based on a deliberate misreading of everything, which they could have known in five minutes' checking, but of course, theydidn't really want to know the truth, did they?

Town Hall:  "House Dem Thinks the Constitution is 400 Years Old"

House Republicans (many of them) think the world is 6,000 years old.  Which are the greater bunch of jackasses?

Jim Geraghty, National Review Online:  "Why Liberals Can’t Govern...Those who believe in the inherent goodness of government avert their eyes from its abuses."

You see, it isn't governing if you spend eight years not getting into any massive wars of aggression which you promptly and ignominiously lose, or if you decrease (or even eliminate, in Clinton's case) the budget deficit, instead of exploding it like Reagan and the two Bushes.  It isn't governing if you don't do away with regulations that have prevented the rich from causing enother depression, with predictable results.  It isn't governing if you don't make torture legal.  And it isn't governing if you don't pander to the most stupid and ignorant segments of the population.  Got that straight, now?  Good.  Now you can go back to binge-watching "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."

Fox News:  "Top American commander warns Afghanistan would deteriorate quickly if US completely withdraws"

You bet.  Who cares?

Breitbart:  "Ben Shapiro Discusses Missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 on 'Hannity'

Great.  A discussion of aviation security from someone who is not intellectually developed enough yet to learn to tie his own shoes.

And let's just end with this gem:

Erik Rush, World Net Daily:  "OBAMA BACKS NAZIS"

Yup, you read that right.  That's what our public discourse has come to.  Of course if you criticize a Republican President in any way, it's treason.  Here's a little more of Erik's delightful rhetoric:

"As the despot Obama devastates our economy and incrementally enslaves us, the press continues to prioritize trivialities like climate change and gender identity issues, while obediently paving the way for the odious, toxic witch who believes she is heir apparent to the presidency. 

The American people would no more tolerate a press that shielded a government from accountability where such things were concerned than they would the government itself."

Don't remember the Bush administration, do you, Erik?  Now do the only decent thing you will have ever done in your whole life and shoot yourself in the face.

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