Friday, October 14, 2016

Wingnut Wrapup

Well, it's been a few days since Trump's disgrace in debate number two, so I suspect the right wingers are coming out of their stunned silence with a new pack of excuses.  Here's a taste:

First, of course, the beginning of a new tsunami of voter fraud stories:

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "Caught on Tape: Democratic Election Official Admits, 'There is a Lot of Voter Fraud'

Despite the actual evidence that there is no such thing.  By the way, this is another video by James O'Keefe, so we know just how much to trust that it isn't a phony editing job by a right wing hack..

"it's practically an article of faith on the Left that voter fraud is a non-existent problem "

Given the fact that there are less than a hundred documented cases of voter fraud across the United States in the last decade or so, out of hundreds of millions of votes cast, and that many of them seem to have been the result of failure to understand the laws, not some criminal scheme, I guess we could rewrite the above to say "it's practically an article of faith on the Left that true things are actually true. We on the right categorically reject such an unsophisticated understanding of reality."

And the media is rigged:

Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall:  "Clinton's Close Relationship With Media Continues, Campaign Boasts About How Interviewers Were "For Her"

You mean the the media actually doesn't want nuclear war and worldwide depression?  Man, are they in the tank for Democrats.

And one of the most revolting Conservative smears about the press being in the tank for Democrats that I have ever seen:

Debra Heine, PJ Media:  "CNN Sitting On 'Obama ERECTION' Video ... Since 2008?...Back in 2008, at least a portion of the below video of Obama flaunting himself did appear on CNN's website.  However, no media coverage made any reference to lewdness. Just of the unremarkable news that Obama was ... wearing jeans...liberal media bias is at the center of this controversy, too."

The photo accompanying this article shows no such thing, of course, but we are assured that in some other part of the video, which no longer exists, that is what you can see.  Can you imagine a story more degraded than this?  What did we ever do to deserve having our Presidential election turned into an orgy of sexual smears?

And how about, "Fuck the polls- we are really winning!"

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "MASSIVE CROWD FOR TRUMP in Ocala, Florida – Supporters Park Car and WALK A MILE to See TRUMP.  Despite the constant media attacks and lies — CLEARLY Their is ONE CANDIDATE This year who has stolen the hearts of everyday Americans. "

They WALKED A MILE!!!!!!!  Well, wonderful for them.  Anyway, I don't know about stealing their hearts, but if they are female, they had better make sure he doesn't steal their panties.

Justin Holcomb, Town Hall:  "New Poll: Donald Trump Takes the Lead Over Hillary Clinton"

A poll by Rasmussen, the Republican party propaganda factory.  The last time Rasmussen called an election correctly was the day before Trump got sex without either buying it or forcing himself on someone.

And how about "Screw  the truth, we're going to do whatever we want"?

D.C. McAlister, PJ Media:  "A Conservative Woman’s Defense of the Brave Men Who Support Trump-The men who are fighting for a Trump victory are not cowards."

No, they are not cowards, they are disgusting subhumans.

"I have to laugh at this hysteria. What Puritanical world has this woman been living in? Does she know nothing?"

What "puritanical" world?  Maybe the one which still retains some meager scrap of human decency?

And if that doesn't work, how about just going all out and embracing complete delusion:

Joan Swirsky, Renew America:  "Why Trump will prevail...The Trump campaign should be throwing thank-you bouquets at Hillary's minions for unearthing an 11-year-old video of the businessman speaking raunchily about women to Hollywood Access host Billy Bush. Why? 
It demonstrates the sheer panic the Hillary campaign is in at the devolving internal-poll numbers that show the ailing candidate barely keeping her [involuntarily] bobbling chin above the water line of decisive failure."

Yeah, and the polls bear that out, Joan, so keep telling yourself that, so you can scream about the rigged election after November 8.

Or just To Hell with everything, we'll say whatever we want:

Larry Elder, Town Hall:  "The crass tape of Donald Trump speaking in vulgar terms about women and what he has supposedly done to them worked, ironically, in Trump's favor during the second debate."

Righto, Larry.  That's just what is happening.  You betcha.

Ericka Haas, Town Hall:  “Let’s Move On” From the Trump Tape"

Let's not, Ericka.  Let's obsess about it all day long, every single day, from now until the election.  How does that deal seem to you?  Because it's the best you are going to get.  The alternative is going to be even worse coming out about Trump, which is almost certain to be what is about to happen.

And now, perhaps the worst lie of the week, and from whom else?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Anonymous: Video of Bill Clinton Raping 13 Yr-Old Girl Will Plunge Race into Chaos"

Jim also claims:

"Anonymous claims the video will plunge the presidential race into chaos.  The video was released this week."

The video was released this week.  And the press is ignoring it.  Right, Jim.  If you are interested, you can watch it here.

I wouldn't bother if I were you, because the video, loosely aping Anonymous' style, contains not one frame of Bill Clinton or anything else, other than a guy in a Guy Fawkes mask making a bunch of disgusting, unproven claims.  Expect a lot more of this in the next month.

And more from Jim:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "CLINTON CARTEL SCRAPES BOTTOM=> Accuses Trump and Assange of Sex Crimes to Stop Bleeding"

"Bleeding" apparently being the new wingnut euphemism for "beating the hell out of us."

Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall:  "Trump Puts Question Mark on Paul Ryan's Future"

I think it might be more appropriate to say that Ryan put a question mark on his own future, by being a craven jackass, but since when has that really been a disqualifier for right wingers.  Don't worry, all will be forgiven, and Paul will be right back in there, steering the nation toward oblivion.

Senator David Perdue, Town Hall:  "I Say We Are Doing Our Job"

By not voting on Obama's nominee for the Supreme Court.  Well, Senator Perdue, I say that is only true if you think your job is to ruin the country, which, judging from Republican behavior the last thirty years, is probably true.  Perdue continues:

"The upcoming presidential election will not only determine the direction of our country, but also serve as a referendum on the balance of the Supreme Court for generations."

Let's see if that is still his attitude after Hillary wins, when he will undoubtedly graciously assent to anyone she picks, right?

Mark Davis, Town Hall:  "Right Now, There Are Only Two Kinds of Conservatives"

Yeah, stupid ones and crooked ones.

And well, what would the day be without some more lunatic craziness from The Stupidest Man On The Internet?

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "WIKILEAKS BOMBSHELL: Hillary Advisors Admit She “HATES EVERYDAY AMERICANS”

Right.  And now, from Jim, a new crime:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Wikileaks Documents Show Hillary Clinton ‘Read from a Prepared Script’ During MSNBC Interview"

She read from a script!  Off to prison with her!  I'm guessing Republicans are trying to make that a crime, since their candidate seems incapable of anything but violent, hate-filled stream-of-conscience shouting.

Jenn Giroux, Renew America:  "Ohio Catholics forgive and embrace Donald Trump for President"

More shame on them.  Of course, they forgave their own priests for raping them.  What tolerant Christians.

And finally, good election news for Trump:

Christine Rousselle, Town Hall:  "Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton's Wikipedia page was hacked on Wednesday and replaced with a graphic, NSFW picture of a woman's anatomy, along with a message that voting for Clinton will trigger a nuclear war and will enable Bill Clinton to rape people."

Yeah, that'll show HER!


Infidel753 said...

Hillary Advisors Admit She "HATES EVERYDAY AMERICANS"

This one is particularly bad since it can be instantly debunked just by looking at the text from Wikileaks itself, which says that Hillary doesn't like the phrase "everyday Americans". Yet this claim is still popping up all over the wingnutosphere, even in comment threads where the debunking of it was already linked.

Magpie said...

Jenn Giroux, Renew America:  "Ohio Catholics forgive and embrace Donald Trump..."

I had a look at that one...

"Jenn Giroux has been a Registered Nurse for 29 years (that is in between farting out the nine kids she says she has) where she has witnessed firsthand the physical, emotional, and spiritual fallout of the women's movement, especially in the areas of contraception and abortion."

What the heck would you know about contraception, lady?

"It is not immoral or uncharitable for Donald Trump to protect our country from Jihad predators"

Which he spent years preparing for by charitably walking in on teenage beauty pageant contestants when they were getting changed.

"We pray that this recent public humility for Donald Trump will somehow affect him for the good"

Gee now that sounds like a really good priority for prayer time. Not the poor or the sick... I mean... 'fuck them' right? 'Trump's humility'... good grief. No let's just pray the icky molester will turn into just the nicest Godly man ever.