Monday, April 4, 2016

Wingnut Wrapup

They're getting really desperate for things to complain about now:

Matt Vespa, Town Hall:  "Obama Praised Bostonians For Shopping Following Their Attack, Slammed Bush For Encouraging The Same Thing In 2008"

Don't count on getting much traction with that one, Matt.  I mean, really.

And another oldie but goodie:

Cal Thomas, Town Hall:  "The "Apology Tour" Comes Full Circle"

The apology tour- remember that one?  It was only about the three hundredth imaginary Obama scandal invented by Republicans.  Maybe people have forgotten what a pack of lies it was, and the Republicans can still get some use out of it.

And they aren't done yet:

Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall:  "'Tremendous Mistake': MSNBC Slams Obama for Argentine Tango as Brussels Bleeds"

Well, not MSNBC exactly- former Republican congressman Joe Scarborough on MSNBC.  Another bogus scandal from the party whose President went to a birthday party while New Orleans drowned.  Haven't they figured out yet that, at long last, and about six years too late, Obama has given up caring a damn about what the whole pack of disloyal, seditious, corrupt Republicans think about anything?

But wait, they can still sink further into idiotic irrelevance:

Christine Rousselle, Town Hall:  "ESPN Roasted Obama On His Lack of Baseball Skills"

Yeah?  But he can still sink the three, sucker.



Armstrong Williams, Town Hall:  "Do Not Interfere with the Will of the People in An Effort To Stop Trump"

Or he'll tweet out an unflattering picture of your wife.

Ann Coulter, Town Hall:  "We Are Neville Chamberlain...Immigration is the new "No Nukes/Save the Whales" movement, only with more body bags."

I'm not quite sure what exactly Neville Chamberlain has to do with saving the whales, and believe me, I'm not about to waste my time reading this article to find out.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Jesse Watters: If You’re Afraid of the Name Donald Trump You’re Either an Illegal Alien or a Total Sissy"

Keeping things on a high plane.

Linda Kimball, Renew America:  "Gnostic chiliastic evolution: Satan's alternative plan of salvation"

Do you want to know what the hell that is about?  Well, I tried to read it for you, but other than finding out that Communism comes from Satan, I couldn't focus on this garbage enough to learn any more.  Just as well, really.

Michelle Bachmann, deranged former Congress person:  "our president’s humiliation comes in a manner so devastating it makes one wonder whether the Creator of humankind isn’t reminding this world of the inferiority of foolishness in the face of wisdom.  The president once again mocked his nemesis, the Jewish people and the nation of Israel, by cleverly turning the international press corps toward his brilliant work in Cuba, instead of covering ongoing Islamic attacks against the Jewish state as outlined that very same day at the annual pro-Israel AIPAC meeting in Washington, D.C.
History changed less than 24 hours later in the blink of an eye, and the rug was pulled out from under his well-laid plans.  Obama’s slavish press corps was forced to turn their uncritical gaze from adoring him to revealing the newest carnage in Brussels."

Yes, ISIS bombed the airport and a train station in Belgium because God made them do it to embarass Obama.  That's the way the world works to people like Michelle.

Mark Fitzgibbons, American Thinker:  "California AG Kamala Harris wants your private information from the IRS"

Well, not your information, exactly, unless you are very rich.  She wants to know who is giving large sums of money to phony right wing front groups that meddle in California elections.    How dare she?

And do you have any doubts about Republicans blotting their consciousness out and falling in line behind Trump?

Breitbart:  "The Nuclear Option — Trump Proves He Has Wisdom and Temperament to Lead Free World"

Well there you go then.  Some more?

"The speech was downright thrilling at moments.  “When you live in a society where the firefighters are the heroes, little kids want to be firefighters,” he said. “When you live in a society where athletes and movie stars are heroes, little kids want to be athletes and movie stars.”

And what about when you live in a society where a born-rich bully is your hero?

Jonah Goldberg, National Review Online:  "Let’s Get This Straight: Trump Is No Reagan"

Well, at last, something in his favor.

Ed Morrissey, Hot Air:  "You bet I’d trust Ted Cruz with foreign policy, says … John McCain"

He trusted Sarah Palin to be President.  I rest my case.

Matt Barber, Town Hall:  "Was ‘Trump 2016’ Prophesied Centuries Ago?"

No.  Matt found some guy from a long time ago that said that if people got too frustrated and angry they might start acting crazy.  No shit, Sherlock.  Matt claims that Obama's "hope and change" was exactly the same as Trump's calls to restore America's "greatness."  What he seems to have forgotten is that, after eight years of Bush and Cheney, there was nothing this country needed as much as change.  Now, not so much.

Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall:  "Walker: Republicans May Nominate Someone Who's Not Even in the Race"

Putin?

Michael Brown, Town Hall:  "Christians Must Unite Now Against Gay Bullies and Their Allies"

Gay bullies!  I'm so scared!

Marita Noon, Town Hall:  "The Developing World Wants Natural Gas and Electricity, Hillary Clinton Sends Cookstoves"

On the other hand, the Republicans are much more sensible.  They just send guns and bombs, things which always lead to a better life.  For those who own the companies that make them, anyway, and who else counts?  I mean, really.

Jim Geraghty, National Review:  "If (Trump)'s so self-evidently unsuited for the presidency… why has the national media spent a full year dissecting his every move?"

By that argument, O. J. Simpson should have been President and Charlie Manson should have been elected Pope.  Actually, that last one might not have been so bad, compared to the last Pope- at least Charlie's sexual interests seem to have been confined to adult women.

Larry Elder, Town Hall:  "Why the Anger? Obamanomics Has Failed"

Despite adding 8.7 million jobs, nearly tripling the Dow, and averting a Republican depression, Obama has failed, FAILED, I tell you!  He failed to one hundred percent cure the damage that the Bush administration did to the economy, which he had no excuse for not doing, despite the Republicans' numerous efforts to sabotage the recovery at every step.  Once again, and a consistent theme here at Green Eagle, is the fact that these attacks on Obama have nothing to do with him at all.  They are a pathetic attempt, by accusing him of every kind of incompetence, to write away the grotesque failure of their own last President, by accusing Obama of every Bush failure.

Mike Adams, Town Hall:  "Can You Be Pro Choice and Anti-Slavery?"

Oh, grow up, guy.  No one is going to bite on that one.

Jack Dunphy, PJ Media:  "Confirmed: Demoralized Cops Equal Higher Crime"

Well, we'd better not hurt their little feelings, then, or they will just have to let those mean burglars come into our houses and steal all of our stuff.  What a fine bunch of professionals.

Bridget Johnson, PJ Media:  "Erdogan's Security Roughs Up Journalists, Staff, Protesters at D.C. Think Tank"

How dare he?  Who does he think he is, Donald Trump?

Newsmax:  "Karl Rove: GOP Should Scrap Trump, Cruz, Kasich and Go With a 'Fresh Face'

Translation:  a random name picked out of the phone book would get more votes than Trump or Cruz.

Weasel Zippers:  "Obama Regime To Fund Iranian Terrorism"

Right.  Any day now.  Soon, Obama will be selling the Iranian terrorists two thousand missiles to help fund an illegal war he is conducting in Central America.  Oh wait, that was Reagan.  Never mind.

Cliff Kincaid, Renew America:  "Former media power player sounds alarm over vaccines"

I include this post from one of the most reactionary blogs I monitor, only to remind you that anti-vaccine lunacy is not just a left wing phenomenon.  I mean, there is just no conspiracy theory so completely discredited that wingnuts won't believe it.

Michael Oberndorff, Renew America:  "When are Americans, aka, We, the People, going to draw a red line in the sand for the Liar-in-Chief, the Fraud in the Rainbow House, the Lead-From-Behind taqiyyah Muslim and his apologists? How often are we going to sit quietly while he covers up for Muslim terrorists who savagely murder innocent Americans? How many more times must we allow him to imply that we are bigots"

Yeah, when?    Michael isn't done yet:

"he was, and still is, a wannabe Marxist revolutionary, albeit a knee-jerk one. His trip to Cuba, his most recent stop on the Grovel Before Our Enemies Tour, made it clear that in spite of trying to win over communists like Xi, Putin, and the Castro brothers, who actually know what brutal, totalitarian Marxism really is, he has neither impressed nor fooled anyone. The same goes for his groveling before the Iranians, the Saudis, and ISIS."

Man, this whole piece is filled with gems, but I'll stop with just one more.  And if you don't get a chuckle out of this one, you're brain dead, or have been on Mars the last year or so:

"America has, for a change, two candidates for the Republican nomination – Donald Trump and Ted Cruz – who are qualified and capable of turning the country around, and returning her to constitutional government and greatness. They are both qualified and capable of repairing the economic damage that Obama, the Democrats, and their RINO co-conspirators have done over the past 15 years."

Enough.  See you real soon.

4 comments:

Poll P. said...

Very entertaining wrap-up....at least three good laughs and a three-pointer (I think.)

Marc said...

I'm not sure how you keep your sanity when reading that...stuff. I try to stay away from the fountains of derp, and I still get splashed by comments by the true believers. You, on the other hand, strap on goggles and a tank, and go diving for these nuggets in the deep waters.

Green Eagle said...

In one ear and out the other, Marc. I've been following the right since the late sixties, when I first started listening to wingnut talk radio. By now, I've heard it all. It still disgusts me, but I think people need to know how much of this sickening stuff is out there, and just how detached from reality these people have become.

By the way, at this point, there is so much of this stuff that it isn't that hard to find. I have a long list of right wing blogs bookmarked- over 200, I am sure- and I tend to take them in order, but after the first ten or twenty they all are pretty repetitive. You can be sure that, for every jackass comment I report here, there are ten other jackasses braying out the same thing. And that's just on the ones I have found. I am continually finding new wacko sites, so who knows how many there really are out there.

Thomas Everett said...

Hopefully, you inform a friend of your whereabouts before diving too deep in the waters of the wingnuts. Drowning in the Sea of Derp is a possibility.