Wednesday, April 27, 2016

A Marriage Made In Heaven

I can't resist- Ted Cruz, probably the most loathed Presidential candidate of all time, and Carly Fiorina, the only person in the present field who might have topped him if she'd lasted that long.  A cross between Sarah Palin and Cruella de Ville.  A...no, wait a minute, this is too easy.  I've got to get myself under control.

Well, I dare say it is obvious why he did it.  After getting mangled by Donald Trump last night, Cruz had two choices- sit around and wait for the hundreds of stories that report (correctly) that he is through, or try to somehow top that story with one of his own creation, to push it out of the headlines, and presumably give the people behind him a couple more weeks to figure out a way to rig the Republican convention in his favor, since we all know he can't win it fair and square.

Well, he really only had one thing he could do that would attract this much attention, short of having sex with a goat in front of the Washington Monument (which might or might not increase his position with the Republican base- it's a close call.)  Of course, no one can ever remember someone announcing their Vice Presidential candidate in April, and I mean really, when you are that far behind it means about as much as Green Eagle announcing what day he is going to show up for the Packers' training camp.  But there he goes- he plays the only (dare I say it) trump card he has, and announces his pick for Vice President, which, sure enough, got him most of the attention today.

So, Carly Fiorina?  That's it?  God in heaven above.  Ted, what were you thinking?  I promise you this- whatever minuscule chance Ted had before today, has erupted in smoke with this pathetic move.  Ted, Ted, Ted, don't you remember a guy named McCain?  I mean, it wasn't that long ago.  And Sarah Palin at least looked good, and seemed like she was having fun running for VP.  Sure, Carly is going to get out there and smear Hillary for all she is worth, which will be a sweet tune indeed for the fools that might support you, but at the same time, she will be constantly reminding people that Carly is CARLY, for damned sake, and YOU picked her.

Good luck, buddy. Because that's the only thing you've got left.

4 comments:

Infidel753 said...

short of having sex with a goat in front of the Washington Monument

Dunno about the Republican base, but if this were on YouTube, it would instantly go viral.

Not that Cruz really had the option. Even goats have standards.

Marc said...

I'm going with the idea Ted wanted to play spoiler - grab Fiorina so Trump has to look elsewhere for a beard to hide his obvious misogyny behind...

Zog said...

Not the goat. I'm going to need brain bleach for that. Also, even though we won't see his comment, I just know what Dikran "I-just-said-he-sang-a-German-version-of-Will-You-Still-Love-Me-Tomorrow-to-a-pet-goat-if-you-think-I-accused-anyone-of-bestiality-it-shows-you're-the-one-with-a-filthy-mind" Hagopian going to say about it. (Although I wonder what aural monstrosity he's found this time.)

That is, if you've heard from him. Is Anonymous still relying on his two same insults? And have we heard from Adam Alabaster yet?

Green Eagle said...

Zog, sad to say, I hear from Dikran, often more than once a day. The remarks are always juvenile in the extreme, and I'm glad to say, once again, that I took Infidel's advice, and simply decided to spare my readers.