Thursday, May 24, 2012

The New Kincaid!

It's time to visit Green Eagle's Art Corner, for news of Trends in American Art Today!  I know how excited you culture vultures (or culture parrots, as the case may be) must be about this!

Despite that, Green Eagle is writing this post anyway.  So there.

Well, we were all so depressed a couple of months ago, when that towering master of American art, Thomas Kincaid, drank himself to death or something.  So it was with the greatest pleasure that Green Eagle discovered that God has already seen to our spiritual needs, and granted us a great American to take his place; a man by the name of  Jon McNaughton, in whom the spirit of Kincaid can be said to be soaring again, if admittedly not to such exalted heights.

Let's start by looking at a couple of Mr. McNaughton's artistic offerings:

Yes indeed, I think any astute art critic can see that the Kincaid force runs deeply within this man, coupled with the artistic ability of an eighth grader.  Praise the lord, he has provided for our higher needs once again!

However, needless to say, this man's ability to crudely replicate the work of a tenth rate commercial artist would hardly have justified his having received the coveted recognition of a Green Eagle post in his honor; no, it is his more spiritual work that has made him a favorite of a certain segment of our political spectrum, and a target of Green Eagle's interests, and it is to that work that we now turn.

Let's start with this historically accurate painting, combining, well, a third of the "talent" of Kincaid with the scope of a David:

Yes indeed, here, at long last, is a true portrayal of Jesus presenting the U.S. Constitution to the American people, while a bunch of liberals in the lower right corner look on in horror.  What could more accurately display the history and origins of this great document?

Now, how about this masterpiece?

Here we have a sad, but oh so accurate, portrayal of the fate that awaits the American people, wrapped loosely in chains and forced to listen to what appears to be Barack Obama imitating Frank Sinatra, while they scoop up free money.  Oh, the horror!  Barack, please, Green Eagle begs you, stick to Sweet Home Chicago!

And while we are on the subject, what ever has become of that Constitution that Jesus gave us?

Well, there it is, under Obama's foot, while the previous Presidents look on in horror!  Well, not all of the previous presidents- some, like FDR and Clinton are applauding Obama's dance moves.  And what are we to make of that poor schmuck on the bench, looking down at the money on the ground, and just too depressed to even pick it up?  I would have thought he was one of Obama's freeloaders, but then I noticed the color of his skin.  Maybe he's just upset about the phony birth certificate- who knows?

So, let Green Eagle leave you with one final artistic masterpiece by McNaughton:

What can we say about the majesty of this work, portraying some unknown black man who vaguely resembles Barack Obama (and nearly as much resembles George W. Bush) burning a large piece of paper, while getting ready to stick his finger in the flame?  That is, what can we say other than, "watch it, buster, your suit is about to catch on fire?"

Well, some of you out there may be familiar with the famous "Rule in M'Naughton," the 1843 British court decision which has, ever since, defined mental incapacity as a legal defense.  A mere coincidence that this guy's name is McNaughton?  Green Eagle thinks not.


Anonymous said...

The guy in the hoodie is obviously the same dude who was sawing through his chains in the previous picture. He's from Iowa, or maybe he said Kansas. This is all part of a "Stations of the Cross" allegory for the delectation of the Rightist masses. And the homey pictures are sort of cute. At least they're not of meth labs and trailer park ghettos.

Dave Dubya said...

Frank Zappa wrote a song for McNaughton and his ilk. It's called "Jesus thinks You're a Jerk".

Leslie Parsley said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

Ahab said...

Twisted! How right-wing can a painter get? And why is there a rooster in the lower right-hand corner of that one painting?

Green Eagle said...

I sort of wondered about that myself.

Anonymous said...

From the scumbag's website:

The Rooster

I am reminded of the story of Peter in the New Testament. On the eve of Christ's crucifixion he denied Jesus three times. When he heard the cock crow it said he went and wept bitterly. (Matthew 26:75) As with Peter, Americans are in a state of denial. We must WAKE UP to our situation.

Tommykey said...

It looks like Washington, standing next to Jesus, is reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, which of course wouldn't exist until nearly a century after his death.

And of course, if you read what the participants in drafting the Constitution had to say, rather than being something imparted from up on high, it was an imperfect document that was the best they could do.