Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Here Comes Pauly Boo Boo

With his annual Republican "budget," i.e. plan for screwing the American people.  It's becoming something of a (very boring) tradition here at Green Eagle to take a look at this ludicrous document.  In fact, it changes so little from year to year, regardless of the circumstances, that I could almost just publish last year's GE take on it and no one would ever notice.  Actually, since probably no one will ever read this, I could just reprint a few pages from The Hobbit and no one would notice either, but I'll still gratify myself at the expense of whoever finds this post.  Well, here goes- quotes from the document itself, with Green Eagle's translations into actual English:

Cover of this idiotic piece of trash
Green Eagle's suggestion for a slight improvement

"Substantially lower tax rates for individuals, with a goal of achieving a top individual rate 
of 25 percent."

i.e. a massive tax cut for the rich

"Simplify the tax code to make it fairer to American families and businesses."

i.e. a massive tax cut for the rich

"Reduce the corporate tax rate to 25 percent."

i.e. a massive tax cut for the rich

"Repeal the Alternative Minimum Tax"

i.e. making sure the massive tax cuts for the rich don't accidentally result in the grossly unfair result of their having to pay some taxes under another provision of the tax act.

Well, I suspect you've got the gist of this document already, but on we go:

"Adopt a sustainable maximum-award level for Pell."

i.e. cut government assistance to poor and middle income people trying to go to college.

"Ensure aid for higher education is targeted to the truly needy."

i.e. nobody who can come up with the rest of the money needed to go to college.

"The biggest cost drivers come from changes made in the College Cost Reduction and Access Act of 2007 [CCRAA].... these expansions should be returned to pre–CCRAA levels."

i.e. cut government assistance to poor and middle income people trying to go to college.

"Address barriers to upward mobility"

i.e. cut government assistance to the poor which, in the Republican fairyland, prevents them from wanting to climb out of poverty.

"Reinstitute welfare’s work requirements."

A brilliant strategy for cutting welfare costs, since there aren't any jobs for these welfare recipients- the reason most of them (other than the large number of children and retired people on welfare) don't have jobs.

Common-sense solutions include enacting medical liability reform, ensuring Americans can purchase quality coverage across State lines, and expanding access to consumer-directed healthcare options."

Enacting medical liability reform:  Making it impossible for people to sue drug companies and health care providers for their misdeeds.

Purchasing coverage across State lines:  Forcing States to enter into a competition with each other over who will have the least regulation on insurance companies, until the insurers all end up in the inevitable political hellholes like North Carolina or Arizona, who are willing to let insurance providers go entirely unregulated.

Expanding access to consumer-directed healthcare options:  Letting insurance companies do whatever they damned please.

All of this (as with virtually everything else in this "budget") has been standard fare for Republicans for decades.

"Provide states flexibility on Medicaid."

i.e. switching to block grants, allowing States to make massive cuts in Medicaid  (And you know which States I'm talking about.)

"Repeal the health-care law’s expansion of Medicaid."

i.e. throwing ten million or so Americans off of insurance plans.

"Repeal the health-care law’s exchange subsidies."

i.e. kill Obamacare, a particularly necessary thing right now, since it is working.

"Preserve Medicare for those in or near retirement."

Because they have to pander to their main bloc of voters- ignorant geezers.

"Reform Medicare for younger generations."

i.e. switch to a voucher system that will not really pay for their medical care, but will "save" lots of money.

"Reform the medical-liability system."

i.e. give a free pass to corporations to harm anyone without fear of penalty.

"Means-test premiums for high-income seniors"

i.e. transform medical care from a right into a welfare program, so it can be easier to attack in the future by the standard Republican tactic of breeding hatred for the poor.

"Reform civil-service pensions."

i.e. cheat government retirees of the benefits they worked all their lives to earn.

"Reform the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation"

i.e. make it easier for corporations to unilaterally decide that they are not going to pay their workers' pensions.

"Restore competition to the energy sector with the goal of energy independence."

i.e. Ending regulations on oil companies, and forbidding government assistance of any kind for alternate sources of energy.

"Stop the government from buying up unnecessary land."  

No national parks when some rich person could make a dime by despoiling the land.

"Revisit flawed financial regulations."

i.e. doing away with them, so Wall Street traders can make lots more money, and cause another depression, which they will sit out in their houses in Antibes.

"Repeal the President’s health-care law."

Surprise.  Bet you never expected that one.

"Move toward patient-centered reform."

i.e. "free market" solutions, which, as you may remember, caused all of the current problems with the health care system, but which will now magically fix it.

"Cutting spending in brief
• Cap spending.
• Eliminate waste."

Meaningless cant.

"Wind down Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
This budget will end corporate welfare in the housing sector. It seeks to drastically decrease the market dominance of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac by gradually ending their government guarantees and taxpayer subsidies. It also supports various ways to attract private capital into the entities’ balance sheets. 
i.e. make it a lot harder for lower income people to get home loans, while at the same time opening a whole new area of the economy to private vulture capitalism."

i.e. make sure that no one is able to offer mortgages to ordinary people unless that person is motivated by nothing but greed.

"Reform the Federal Credit Reform Act.
This budget prevents the next bailout of a housing agency. The Federal Housing Authority’s Mutual Mortgage Insurance Fund’s hasn’t met its congressionally mandated capital-reserve ratio of 2 percent since 2009. This capital reserve is intended to protect taxpayers from losses on FHA guarantees."

Of course, we all know what "since 2009" means- the FHA has been swamped due to an economic collapse caused by exactly the kind of thinking which is behind every proposal in this budget plan.  The answer- more of the same, please.

"Revisit flawed financial regulations."

i.e. do away with financial regulations, which have the significant flaw of restricting the ability of Republican donors and officials like Mitt Romney to rob the American people blind.

Provide $560.2 billion for defense spending in fiscal year 2014, an amount consistent 
with America’s military goals and strategies."

i.e. lots more to defense contractors, who are such big Republican donors, paid for by slashing every single thing the government does that is of any actual value.

"Fully fund our nation’s commitment to veterans."

Well, they always include this one but of course they never do it.

Enough already.  If you want more, you can read this malicious document here, and the full text of the bill here.  Don't do it if you don't have a strong stomach.

I'm not going to wast any space here raving about what a disingenuous document this is.  I think it's pretty obvious, so I'll just let it speak for itself.

Update:  Of course, nothing on earth could be piggish enough to satisfy Sarah Palin, who has viciously attacked Ryan's budget as "a joke" for not being hard enough on non-rich Americans.  Well, if it is a joke, it isn't a very funny one.


Jono said...

Nicely done G. E.! A fine job of clarifying the bullshit.

Grung_e_Gene said...

I concur with Jono, Nicely done Green Eagle.

Republicans don't expect anyone to crunch their BS numbers. They just wave their Death to Poor the Working Class Notebook euphemistically titled Path to Prosperity knowing full well the only people who will prosper are the 1%.

Jerry Critter said...

What a bunch of BS. Essentially, it can be summarized as cut taxes on the rich and eliminate subsidies to the poor.

Starve and die, the republican solution to poverty.

isaac said...

While I was reading this, I was thinking of this old joke, for some reason:

A CEO, a Tea Party member and public employee sit at a table, with 12 cookies on a plate. The CEO grabs 11 cookies and tells the Tea Party member, "You better watch him. He wants your cookie."

Jerry Critter said...

Thanks for the reminder of this joke. That is exactly what they are doing. And now, with the ability to contribute virtually unlimited amounts of money to campaigns, they will be working to take the whole dozen.