Monday, November 25, 2013

Rick Strikes Out

You may remember (not that I would know why) that Rick Santorum was hired last winter to be the head of Echolite Studios, a right wing Christian company that was going to make a huge impression on the film world.  Well, I'm pleased to announce that their first film, an action-packed epic entitled "The Christmas Candle."

Whoops- it was a huge flop, doing about a million in its first two weeks, after a production cost estimated at about $7 million.  It thus follows in the tradition of a host of other right wing movies, most notably "Atlas Shrugged," which involves briefly circling the drain before vanishing from sight.  Of course, I've rarely seen a one sheet that makes a film look more boring:
But then, I have no doubt that it accurately represents this ninth-rate production.  That's what you get, I suppose, when you hire a failed right wing politician to make movies.  Even Goebbels did better than this piece of trash:
Well, better luck next time, Rick.

An additional note:  I know it might seem like my perpetual posts about things like this are just kicking people when they are down.  What I am really trying to do is document the fact that the mainstream press view of right wing groups as powerful forces representing a large part of the country is a hoax. It's about time people realized that what we have here is a few rich people creating a dumb show and then the press (which rich people own) giving it credibility.  It's time we moved past this nonsense and started running the country for our own benefit.


Jerry Critter said...

I see that he is no better at running a film studio than he is at running a presidential campaign.

Infidel753 said...

Let's hope Santorum keeps making movies. They'll serve as a useful financial black hole to absorb right-wing money that would otherwise be spent on more nefarious things.

Green Eagle said...

And there are few black holes bigger than making movies. Unless, of course, you get Dick Cheney and the Neocons involved. Now, they really know how to squander money.

Magpie said...

The female lead was apparently once in a TV contest program called “I’d Do Anything”. Clearly she wasn’t kidding.

And in continuance of the Godly intent of The Christmas Candle, she will next appear in ‘Dracula Untold’.

After that a film called “The Devil’s Harvest”, which unfortunately is not as interesting as it sounds, and has nothing to do with farmers for Satan.

isaac said...

Well, there we have it, all the proof we could possibly want. This movie obviously is simply a casualty of the left's War On Christmas.

Magpie said...

Not sure if you’re being ironic, Isaac, but taking that at face value…. it’s an interesting explanation for poor box office.
I wonder if it is applicable to all the other movies that don’t do well commercially, good or bad.

Inspired by this post, I took the time to read reviews of this film, and the most scathing ones are actually from people who are very religious and did not like the film’s presentation of Christianity.

To quote:
“Not only is it syncretistic, it is burdensome. It makes faith a burden. It loads people down with doubts about Christ… This movie is not for Christ, it is against him”

Now… THAT’s harsh - a lot harsher than probably most of the Left would be.
We just like good movies.

isaac said...

"Not sure if you’re being ironic, Isaac..."

I was.

I think that's a measure of how inane and shallow right wing rhetoric has become that it's necessary to wonder whether a statement so ridiculous was made in earnest.

I'm still waiting for some wingnut to say, in all seriousness, that the film's sparse attendance was due to the hordes of ninjas that people had to fight their way through to get into theaters showing Santorum's movie.

Ninjas supplied by the left, of course.

Shaw Kenawe said...

Anytime Sick Rantorum fails at something a baby liberal gets her wings!

uzza said...

A movie about a candle, with Santorum all over it, turns out shitty. Who could see it coming?