Thursday, March 1, 2012

Wingnut Wrapup

 Well, while we've been watching the pathetic display of wankerdom that is Mitt, Green Eagle has been neglecting the little people- the rank and file that are working so hard to turn the Republican party into the new Stahlhelms.  Let's just take a few minutes to give them the attention they've earned, starting with this remark:

"don’t worry, if obama wins you won’t have to worry about anything except how that brown shirt and those jack boots are gonna fit while you’re standing in that bread line , and bowing to the east on your little gov issued prayer rug."

A random comment on a random PJ Media post.  Well, at least they are giving us jack boots to wear while we are standing and at the same time kneeling on our free prayer rug.  If we elect a Republican, we are going to have to pay for that pair of jack boots, and buy another pair for a rich person too.

Sarah Palin:  "Newt Is Toughest Fighter in the Race"

Good point, Sarah.  Makes me think, though, you might be better off supporting Mike Tyson.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Just so you know…We were warned.  A Sunni cleric says, “Allah will soon send an American Gorbachev to end the American Empire.”  This was back before America elected Obama."

Nice that Jim has finally given up on his endless hatred of Muslims, and now regards them as the font of all wisdom about our country.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Report: Obama Administration Is Giving Away 7 Strategic Islands to Russia"

Well, actually, they are not strategic islands so much as they are useless and uninhabited islands in the Arctic ocean off of the coast of Russia.  A quick minute or two with Wikipedia will reveal that the United States has never claimed these islands, and has always recognized them as Russian territory.  So, how is that evil Obama giving them away?  Who knows.  Still, this is something to add to the long Conservative list of things that Obama didn't do, that are his fault, such as the economic collapse and the military disaster in Iraq.

Town Hall:  "Ron Paul: US Slipping Into a Fascist System "

Which, given Ron Paul's long history of association with Aryan Supremacist and Neo-Nazi groups, is presumably the best news he's heard all day.

Derek Hunter, Town Hall:  "Why “Progressives” and not “Liberals”?"

Why "Conservatives" and not "Dumb Asses?"

Ken Blackwell, Town Hall:  "Why bring up Rev. Wright now?"

Because you've got nothing else?  That's my guess.

Bob Owens, Confederate Yankee:  "Bruce Springsteen’s new album an ode to Occupy Wall Street ...He clearly knows nothing of how this nation was founded, or what the role of the government should be in our lives.  He sure as Hell doesn’t understand America."

I don't think I need to waste a second explaining how stupid that was. 

Bryan Preston, PJ Media:  "Unless Your Name Is Barack Obama, You Won't Be Surprised to Learn that The Pill Is Not Free"

Barack doesn't know that?  I wonder why he wants insurance companies to cover it then?

Ron Radosh, Pajamas Media:  "Was the Father of the A-Bomb a Communist and Soviet Spy?"

Leaving aside the fact that this is utter nonsense, let us ask what it means when Conservatives have to go back to 1943 to find a left wing boogy man.  Not much luck digging anything up about today's Democrats, huh, guys?   This is even more pathetic than the jerk featured in Wingnut Wrapup a couple of days ago that thought that it was vital to our national security to discuss whether John F. Kennedy had affairs back in the early sixties.  Well, when it's all you've got, it's all you've got.

Jeannie DeAngelis:  "Is Obama purposely altering America's religious complexion?"

Complexion...a  new low in not-so-subtle racism, or just one of the stupidest comments ever?  We leave it to you to decide

Lloyd Marcus, Renew America:  "Colored people are like human weeds and are to be exterminated." Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood."

A wonderful contribution to our historical understanding from Renew America's favorite house nigger, Lloyd Marcus.  If you google that quotation, you will get over 8,000 hits, virtually every single one of them from right wing websites, including many of our favorites here at Wingnut Wrapup.  Needless to say, there is no shred of evidence that Margaret Sanger ever said or wrote any such thing. 

And, if the "house nigger" thing made you mad, tough.  This guy has sold his soul to white racists for years now, and he doesn't deserve any better treatment.

Jim Kouri, Renew America:  "New York City is nation's #1 terrorist target, say officials"

That should make you happy, Jim.  It's wingnuts' number one target too.

Gabriel Garnicia, Renew America:  "Catholics are not stupid, they have just been hijacked...temporarily"

If by "temporarily," you mean two thousand years.

John Ransome, Town Hall:  "This is What a President Looks Like"

How can I put this politely?  Well, what a President looks like is someone without a suntan, if you catch my drift.

Pat Buchanan, Town Hall:  "Is Obama's America God's Country?"

No, Pat, it's not.  This country belongs to the American people.  Well, even though we all know that by second grade or so, it isn't really that surprising that it is a mystery to the guy who claims that Hitler didn't want World War II.

David Steinberg, PJ Media:  "A Pulitzer for PJ Media? The Case for Our ‘Every Single One’ Series"

Hey, I never knew that you could give yourself awards like this.  Green Eagle is giving himself a Nobel Prize in theoretical physics for his advanced research in the at-rest state of matter, conducted during a nap last weekend.  Oh boy, I can hardly wait to start spending the prize money!  The first thing I'm going to buy is a nice hammock.

Michelle Malkin, Town Hall:  "The $4 Billion Obamacare Slush Fund for Progressives"

This has the potential to develop into quite a scandal.  On the planet in the other universe where it happened.

Leon Wolff, Red State:  "Richard Lugar Calls TEA Party Voters Morons"

The truth hurts.

John Ransom, Town Hall:  "Too bad GM is so broke that they can’t afford to pay the US government back the $23 billion they still owe us."

Well, not so much "owe" us.  Actually, the government still owns $23 billion in GM stock, which it could sell any time it wants, but since the auto bailout worked so well, the stock price has been going up, so Obama decided to hang on to it a little longer.  If the Kock brothers did this, the wingnuts would call it a brilliant investment.  When Obama does it, not so much.  Capitalism- it's only for Republicans.

Chuck Norris, Renew America:  "Whom would America's founders elect president?"

Just in case you're interested, I'll cut to the chase here:  Chuck thinks George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, et. al. would have voted for Newt Gingrich  Yes, they fought and died so Newt Gingrich could be President.  There's no way to even ridicule this adequately.

James Lewis, American Thinker:  "Here Comes Obama's 3 AM Phone Call...No American president has ever allowed an international crisis to come so close to the brink."

No? how about what happened in 1939?  Was that an international crisis that came "so close to the brink?"  How about when your guy ignored memos warning about 9-11?  How about the Cuban Missile crisis?  How about Korea?  How about... oh, well, you get my point.  Yes, whatever happens in the world, it's Obama's fault for not bombing some brown person first, even though if he did it would be an unconstitutional abuse of power without the consent of Republicans in Congress, who would never give it, for fear Obama would secure one more nearly costless foreign policy victory.

Joseph Farah, Renew America:  "Where Ron Paul goes off the rails"

Everywhere.  I think that pretty well sums it up.

Bryan Fischer, Renew America:  "Does the GOP's "big tent" have enough room for Rick Santorum?"

Listen, Bryan, the GOP's big tent has had room for Rick Santorum for twenty years.  The real question is, why?

David Limbaugh, World Net Daily:  "Blame leftists for rise of religious conservatives"

Blame leftists for everything, even your own behavior, huh, David?  That makes sense.

Newsmax:  "Dershowitz to Newsmax: Obama Could Be ‘Chamberlain of 21st Century’

Yeah, that's right.  Except for the fact that Chamberlain was a party-line conservative who fought every step to prepare Britain militarily to face Germany, because it would involve raising taxes.  Except for that, Obama is just like Chamberlain.  Somehow.

Town Hall:  "Newt: Bibles Burnt, Churches Torched, Christians & Troops Are Murdered...Nobody In Middle East Apologizes"

Naturally, after demonizing Muslims for years as semi-human savages, what could make more sense than turning to them as a guide for our own behavior?  High quality thinking as usual from our very own home-grown Taliban.

Gateway Pundit FEATURED STORY:  "Cocky Obama Jokes With UAW Workers About His Inevitable Reelection"

Inevitable with it, sucka.

Jeannie De Angelis:  "Excuse me for laughing, but the flawed logic of liberals has run into sort of a lesbian conundrum up in the blue-blue state of Massachusetts. Seems three women who proudly fly the rainbow flag were arraigned for beating up a gay man in a Massachusetts train station. All three ladies were charged with participating in a hate crime."

"Flawed logic."  Apparently that consists in holding everyone to the same standards of the law.  See, even when people that liberals normally defend commit a crime, we insist on prosecuting them.  Man, is that a laughable example of warped thinking.  Anyone knows that when a Republican commits a crime it's just fine with other Republicans.  Well, Jeannie, I hope you got a good laugh out of liberals enforcing the law.  It sure is a blot on our justice system.

Pam Geller, World Net Daily:  "America does not apologize to savages and cannibals and ghouls.  Stop apologizing and start carpet-bombing...Stop apologizing to these savages and start fighting.  I do not apologize that the United States of America is “the greatest, the noblest and, in its original founding principles, the only moral country in the history of the world...I am ashamed of my country.”

And the way to prove that we are the noblest and most moral country in the history of the world is to kill a lot of people.  Good thinking there, Pam.  I just want to add that we don't usually let Pam in here any more, but I thought this was such a perfect sample of right wing morality that I would make an exception just this once.

Astute Bloggers:  "MITT/SANTORUM 2012 = IKE/NIXON IN 1952?"

Yeah, as soon as Mitt wins a world war like Ike did. 

Enough.  See you soon.


mastercynic said...

What? Nothing about giving aid and comfort to terrorists and supporting the "axis of evil" by send North Korea food? Are these people asleep? It must be because Brietbart is dead. Praise the Lord!

Grung_e_Gene said...

Why not Washington/Adams?

In today's US, Eisenhower would be called a socialist Kenyan Marxist...

As for the bullshit Margaret Sanger "quote", the Right always goes by the mantra if you can't find a quote to attribute to a liberal, just make it up!

It's all part of crafting that Alternate Conservative Reality.

Green Eagle said...

Hey, remember the John Birch Society? Eisenhower was called a Marxist back then, too.

And as for Breitbart, my eulogy for him is just above.