Thursday, March 23, 2017

Wingnut Wrapup

I've got a little work the next few weeks, so I had better get this out there, before it corrodes the insides of my computer.

Advice that won't help you, Donald:

Katie Pavlich, Town Hall:  "Down To The Wire Trump Applies Pressure on Healthcare: Call Your Congressman"

My Congressman is Adam Schiff.  I don't know that calling him is going to help Trump too much.

Derek Hunter, Town Hall:  "Liberals Prefer Illegal Aliens Over Your Kids"

But what if your kids are illegal aliens?  Derek argues:

"A few weeks ago in this space I asked a simple question: How many victims of illegal alien crime will be enough to make Democrats and the media care about illegal alien crime?"

On a similar note, how many years of 30,000+ gun deaths in this country will be enough to get Republicans to put "your kids" ahead of gun company profits?  Nah, forget it.  Profits are more important than kids.

Larry Elder, Town Hall:  "What to Do About Obamacare and the Uninsurable? Free Markets and Charity!"

The buffoon.  Why did "free markets and charity" not do the job before Obamacare, after the Republicans had turned our nation's health care system into nothing but a source for corporate profits? This malicious jerk continues:

"Did the Founding Fathers, under Article I, Section 8, grant the federal government the power and duty to ensure "universal health care coverage"? The answer is no"

Well, except for that "promote the general welfare" thing, I guess.  and by the way, where in the Constitution did the founding fathers grant the Federal government the power to buy aircraft carriers? The founding fathers didn't have a thing to say about that.  So, anyway, who is going to cough up the two million dollars for your chemotherapy?

"The answer is charity."

Right.  That'll work.  And if it doesn't, panhandling should do the trick.

Patterico, Red State:  "Trump: Why Should I Apologize for Tying Ted Cruz’s Dad to Lee Harvey Oswald?"

Why should any Republican apologize for a malicious lie?  I mean, if they had to do that, they wouldn't have time for anything else except telling new lies.

Patrick Poole, PJ Media:  "Five Days, Two More 'Known Wolf' Terror Attacks, Little Concern From Government"

Five days, another 400 or so gun deaths in this country, little concern from the current government about that either.

Roger Simon, PJ Media:  "Time to Investigate Obama, not Just Trump"

Of course it is.  Trump commits treason, time to scream out some more lies about Obama.

"In effect, Trump was wiretapped -- if not in the corny, old sense of the word, something very close."

And there's a new lie now!  He was not wiretapped in the "corny, old sense" of it being true, but he was wiretapped in  the Republican sense of "It's a lie, but what are you going to do about it, loser," so it's the same thing.

"Whether Barack Obama ordered the surveillance of Donald Trump during the transition is not the question."

Or even whether it even happened is not the question.  For Republicans, the only question is whether they can tell the lie and get away with it.  And with today's press, the odds are pretty good that they can.

And the Stupidest Man On The Internet has to weigh in too:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "BOOM=> House Intel Chair: We Cannot Rule Out That Sr. Obama Officials Were Involved in Trump Surveillance"

They can't rule out that fairies from neverland were involved, either.  They have, after all, just as much evidence for one theory as for the other one.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Massive Amount of Data on 47 HARD DRIVES from Whistle Blower Proves Obama and Crew Spied on Everyone"

Everyone!  They spied on everyone!  I guess that includes Green Eagle, and his Corgi dog.*  No wonder they never found the time to take all of our guns away.

Madeleine Crabbe, Renew America:  "Obedience to Christ is NOT an option!"

Well, except in regard to things like this, I guess:

"For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 

I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

That part is optional.  On the other had, obedience to Christ regarding abortion, pornography and homosexuality is NOT an option.  Christ, of course, only spoke about those things in the telepathic commands he beamed to his right wing "followers,"** but those were so much more important than his actual words, which were only spoken to Jews, and therefore, I guess, meaningless.

Jerry Newcomb, Renew America:  "Is socialism the source of Scandinavian happiness?"

No, from what I've heard, this is:

Kevin Fobbs, Renew America:  "Homeland Security needed to stop violent Chicago gang looting terrorists"

And...I think we have a winner today in the "who can meaninglessly string the most scare words together" contest.  Congratulations, Kevin.  The competition is always tough for that award.

Curtis Dahlgren, Renew America:  "#LGBTQQXYZ#? (liberals, do not read this!)"

Okay. You've got a deal.


Dan Popp, Renew America:  "What if the government couldn't play church?"

Whatever the hell that is supposed to mean.  I have another question for you, Dan.  What if the government didn't pay churches to spread their hatred and fairy tales?  Here's a little more absurd nonsense form Dan:

"Imagine a United States in which all aid was given by individuals, families, churches, parachurch organizations and community groups.

No, people would not be "dying in the streets." That's a lie, and a stupid one, for all its longevity. It has simply never been the case that poverty, misery and death prevailed in the land until the religious heartstrings of government were stirred to create a "program" that finally ensured everyone's well-being. Garbage. Baloney. Horse manure. The reality is pretty much the opposite of that."

Yeah, sure.  Never read much Dickens, huh, Dan, or much Jacob Riis, or basically much of anything about what life was like for the working class in the nineteenth century, before government stepped in?  But we now have people cheering on a President who lies about Congressional hearings that are being broadcast on national TV at the very moment he is spewing out his falsehoods.  How can we expect the people who lap up that poison to care about what life was like before governments decided to do a tiny little bit to help ordinary people out?

And here it is in its most naked form:

Bob Unruh, Renew America:  "Nunes confirms: Obama admin spied on Trump transition team"

Not, "Nunes confirms: Wiretaps on Russian gangsters recorded dozens of their discussions with Trump administration officials. Funny thing, that."

Joe Kovacs, World Net Daily:  "Sarah Palin urges Trump to dump 'tainted' top official"

AT LAST!  A Republican who is slightly worried about Vladimir Putin giving orders to the White House, even if it is Sarah Palin!

Oops, my bad.  That isn't what this is about at all:

"Sarah Palin, one of the earliest supporters of Donald Trump in his quest for the White House, is now urging the president to dump James Comey as director of the FBI.

The former Alaska governor claims Comey is “tainted” by his ties to the Clinton Foundation, and needs to be removed from the current administration."

Being a traitor in league with the Russians isn't a taint, it is just dandy.  Work for a charity started by the Clintons?  That does require you to be kicked out of the government, and probably go to prison too.

Ann Coulter, World Net Daily:  "On refugees: We have now hit full-on crazy"

Huh?  Listen, Ann, you hit full-on crazy sometime in the mid-1990's.  From here on out, it's only full-on senile for you.

Amber Randall, Daily Caller:  "North Dakota Church Owned By White Supremacist Burns Down...'Kind of sad'.

Really?  Kind of sad? The only sad part is that he wasn't inside it at the time.  Some more details?

"A fire burned down an entire Nome, N.D., church owned by a white supremacist Wednesday...Only the steeple of the Zion Lutheran Church remained from the fire"

Excuse me for asking, but if the steeple remained, then the entire church did not burn down, right? Or am I missing something here?

Bre Payton, The Federalist:  "Dear Liberals, Please Stop Virtue Signaling At Me With Your T-Shirts"

Yeah, sure, as soon as you stop trying to force your stupid religion down our throats.  Deal?

And now let's jump from the frying pan of lies right into the fire of out and out Republican psychosis:

Before It's News:  'Hillary in Deep Trouble: Trey Gowdy Had Fed Judge Order This Body Exhumed!"

And what could this be about?  VINCE FOSTER!  Yes, Republican lies never die.  So, let's just cut to the chase here:  Trey Gowdy, as crazy and evil as he is, and as given to misusing Congressional committee power for partisan witch hunts, absolutely did not order the exhumation of Vince Foster's body, as anyone could discover in thirty seconds on line.  In fact, only a proper authority of the jurisdiction where the body is buried (normally a local judge) can order an exhumation, not an out of control Congressman.

"Trey Gowdy wants to better his country. Simple as that...This man in amazing!"

Even for something that he didn't do.  Hooray, Trey!

And an addendum to the story:

"From what I am seeing online there are a lot of discussions regarding if this happened or not. "

It didn't.  Satisfied now, jackass?  Apparently not, or you would have apologized for telling this gigantic lie.

And finally, the truth comes out!

Before it's News:  "Only One Step Away from PizzaGate – Fox News Covering up Wiretap Scandal – Dumps Judge Napolitano...To review, the PizzaGate scandal has implicated Podesta, Clinton and several other notables. Opening up the wiretapping scandal could reveal what Obama was really looking for. It certainly wasn’t Republican campaign strategy, the election was over for part of the wiretapping and there was no reason to continue with the illegal activity. It has to be about what Trump knows, and more importantly, what Trump plans to do about PizzaGate."

PizzaGate!  That has to be it!  No human being on earth has enough capacity for ridicule to deal with that remark.

"the only thing that makes any sense to me is that Fox has a vested interest in not having PizzaGate surface with all of its ugly details."

The ONLY thing that makes sense.  It couldn't be that Fox fired this malignant jerk for lying about  Democrats, because we know that they would never do this, so the only thing that makes sense is that they are colluding with Hillary to cover up an imaginary child rape ring.

And in the "no lie is too old" category, consider this:

"Hillary isn’t just an alcoholic — she has Dementia and brain damage from Parkinson’s Disease. That’s why she always falls down." 

Following Hillary at this Scranton, PA event is Doctor Frankenstein — Hillary’s neurological doctor who jabs Hillary with drugs to keep her arms and legs moving."

Doctor Frankenstein?  Even Hillary could do better than that.

although apparently Donald Trump couldn't.


"It’s a mystery how Hillary Clinton makes public appearances while she’s under FBI investigation for spirit cooking and abuse of minors."

Spirit cooking?  Yeah, that would be some sort of bogus right wing claim that Democrats participate in Satanic rituals.  Something we really need to worry about, rather than wasting our time on Trump's treason.

And on another subject, let's just remember this fact, from an inspiring right wing graphic:


I'm sure you appreciated my bringing it to your attention.

And this story about the disgusting right wing pervert, Sheriff David Clarke:

Prissy Holly, Freedom Daily:  "But what many people don’t realize is that the sheriff used to be a former homicide detective with countless grizzly murder investigations under his belt."

Murders of large bears.  Man, he does have quite a resume.


* To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure about the Corgi dog.

** The Biblical version of tweets.

3 comments:

Monty said...

I take it the past day was not pleasant for you.

Take a musival break with Under Pressure.

Zog said...

I thought Dr. Frankenstein was following Donald Trump around. That would explain Abby Normal's brain being inside his skull.

[However, it might just be Bill the Cat's brain up there.]

--
To honor the late Chuck Barris, here's a link to one episode of The Gong Show. This specific episode is, in my opinion, one of the funniest episodes of any show in the history of television, though it takes a little time to get going.

For those who don't like the Gong Show, Fawlty Towers' The Germans will serve as an ample reward for slogging through all the right-wing garbage Green Eagle has collected.

Green Eagle said...

My wife was in the audience for the first episode of the Gong Show. How cool is that?