Wingnut Wrapup- Special SMOTI Edition
So, it turns out that the Trump administration has just given press credentials to attend daily briefings to Jim Hoft, the legendary Stupidest Man on the Internet, or SMOTI as he is known far and wide, and a fixture in virtually every Wingnut Wrapup I have written over the last ten years. I thought I would assemble his output, just from the last six months of Wingnut Wrapup, minus a handful of mentions that were so topical that they wouldn't make sense any more. I've included the replies I made to him, because, I guess, I'm just that kind of malignant narcissist. So, here we go!
And here it is, from the Stupidest Man on the Internet:
A photo from the Capitol, in which you can't see a thing past the reflecting pool, of the mall itself. Man, these people are into lying to themselves.
Maybe that would be because Obama never did it. Nah, it's because they are evil.
Talk about alternative facts.
And here they are, the horror:
This is just intolerable. Proof that all liberals are really Muslim terrorists!!! And believe me, it doesn't stop there:
The treachery! No one on the right ever paid someone to work against Democrats, did they?
No it wasn't. How stupid do you think people are, Jim? The report specifically said that it contained conclusions but not sources, because that would reveal our intelligence apparatus.
No, Jim, it has to do with this: "In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial..."
Apparently, for Republicans, it's okay to keep people in prison for a decade and a half without even charging them with a crime. Just shows, once again, how much they really care about the Constitution, or even about the barest shreds of common human decency.
A great victory for Trump, except maybe the part where the audience of rich New York Catholics, which should be just about his most loyal constituency, booed Trump for saying that. Jim didn't notice the booing, I guess.
More evidence of why he's called the Stupidest Man On The Internet. Jim, Hillary's voters already know how to vote, because they have been good citizens for a long time. The assholes that look up "how to vote Trump" probably have to start their day by googling "how to tie your shoes."
Jim also claims:
The video was released this week. And the press is ignoring it. Right, Jim. If you are interested, you can watch it here.
(sorry, video no longer available, for some strange reason.)
I wouldn't bother if I were you, because the video, loosely aping Anonymous' style, contains not one frame of Bill Clinton or anything else, other than a guy in a Guy Fawkes mask making a bunch of disgusting, unproven claims. Expect a lot more of this in the next month.
Right. And now, from Jim, a new crime:
She read from a script! Off to prison with her! I'm guessing Republicans are trying to make that a crime, since their candidate seems incapable of anything but violent, hate-filled stream-of-conscience shouting.
Until last night, they never had a bad word to say about them, and always treated them with infinite respect.
AND to her lizard person handlers.
A joke by this Florida doctor, but not obvious enough that the legendary Stupidest Man on the Internet didn't fall for it.
And talk about jokes that Jim Hoft doesn't get. And Jim isn't done with the stupidity yet:
Really, I don't even know where "Israeal" is.
Jim, you should learn to follow one of Green Eagle's basic rules of political commentary: If you can't spell the name of a country, you should keep your mouth shut about it.
And of course, a couple of stories about the Charlotte police murderer by a guy who knows how to lie with the best of them:
Funny, you aren't seeing these two stories anywhere else than the right wing media, where they are being repeated ad infinitum as absolute truth.
Trying to delete personal e-mail addresses from documents about to be made public- this blows the E-mail scandal wide open. Sure it does, Jim. Because that's all you've got after spending years and millions of dollars turning this ordinary conduct into a scandal. But this is all it takes to crank up the House Republican witch hunt a month and a half before the election.
Lighten up, Jim. Apparently not much to lie about today, huh?
What begins? I mean really. Jim always likes to say "it begins," but what the hell does he think is beginning, with a picture of a cucumber that looks like a burka? A new round of vegetable abuse? What? I mean, what is beginning with this?
At least one? How about a thousand wingnut sites and mainstream news outlets that have been pounding out this lie for months? And there's the "It begins" thing, again. Jim, what begins, and how can it be beginning when you have been screaming about it for ever? And finally, this filthy rag full of lies, owned by Trump's best friend, is a "news organization?" Give me a break.
And a good-as-gold medical question from the legendary Stupidest Man on the Internet:
Oh, I don't know, maybe because it was really sunny out? Or maybe we should take Jim's suggestion seriously:
They weren't regular sun glasses. They were probably those ones specially made to fit lizard people from outer space.
WOW!!! Well, one guy who thinks that might be possible. I follow the liberal media very closely, and I saw not one single thing about this, until I learned about it from Jim Hoft.
More unexcelled stupidity from the "stupidest man on the internet." The lower staircase was provided on Air Force One specifically for situations where an appropriate landing staircase is not available, which is more and more common, as most airports that Obama would fly into use jetways, and only have staircases for small, regional planes, not for something the size of Air Force One.
A new height in "I blame Obama." Two kids in a school in Riverside County, CA, may have contracted leprosy, or may not have. It's all Obama's fault. God in heaven above, when people call Jim the "stupidest man on the internet," you can see why.
Will the horrors never cease?
WE knew he'd be there too- no camera in the country that he's not leaping in front of these days. I just hope that his cheering victims didn't also "know" that he would do a damned thing to help them, because he isn't there to help them, he's there to pretend he cares about anyone but himself. That's okay, though. No one that is not as stupid as Jim fell for it. And continuing Jim's crap about the rains in Louisiana:
Obama lectures victims of racism, and, of course, leads a highly organized and effective FEMA operation to deal with the problem. Jim forgot that part. Meanwhile, Trump "comforts" flood victims by giving them free Play-Doh.
The Trump supporters were robbed blind if they gave a nickel to his campaign. And as for any Trump people that were harmed, take another look at the video of real Trump supporters I posted a while ago. These people deserve to be beaten bloody; and don't try to tell me I am wrong here- they are anti-American racists determined to destroy our country so they can live in the white supremacist dictatorship they are yearning for. Getting a few eggs thrown at them (the majority of the violence here) doesn't even begin to be what they deserve.
Well, let's see now: I've discovered by looking online for about ten minutes that she has permanent brain damage, grand mal seizures, AIDS, dementia, brain tumors and several other kinds of cancer, clinical depression, coughing, acting "extremely weird," three strokes, multiple sclerosis, alcoholism, "transverse sinus thrombosis," whatever in hell that is, and now Parkinson's disease. And one of the articles I read went on to say that her shoes cost too much.
Hilary killed again!!!! Of course, the medical examiner said that the guy committed suicide, and it was not "mysterious" at all, but then, well, BENGHAZI!!!! E-MAILS!!! VINCE FOSTER!!!
I think she's up to 80 or so now. No kidding, some of the wingnut lists of her murders are that long.
Discouraging Trump voters by "playing" with poll numbers- i.e. by reporting them.
Hillary is the crazy one. Well, Jim, that's a new high in "both sides do it" nonsense. Jim Continues:
Jim obviously believes that if he just continues blaming Hillary for any problem Trump has, it will cancel out everything about the worst candidate in over a hundred years. Well, we'll see, won't we? He might be right.
It's the closest they are ever going to get to actually putting Hillary in jail for the crime of being a Democrat- a parade in some God-forsaken Iowa rathole of a town, so you might as well enjoy it while it lasts, Jim. She's been exonerated from literally hundreds of false Republican charges, and been found guilty of not one single one of them, so just watch the parade and daydream. And to think you guys are having fits over some guy asking if Trump has ever read the constitution.
Keep telling yourself that, Jim. Your own guys are comparing his campaign to a trip on the Titanic. No wonder they call Jim the Stupidest Man on the Internet.
It's literally true. She's really Satan. You know what, if I were Satan, I wouldn't really dress myself in a Hillary costume, I'd go for Scarlett Johanssen or something. Actually, from everything I've heard, Scarlett Johanssen may really be Satan, but that's a discussion for another time.
SIX MINUTES!!! Well, no one ever said Jim has a long attention span.
Okay, now I understand it. They don't like liberal reporters, so they will turn the country over to a traitorous fascist dictator. Seems a little extreme to me, but what do I know?
Which has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common with constant Republican attempts for forty years to force poor people to work for welfare or food stamps. NOTHING, I tell you!
Jim is just so well informed. Here's a little chart that he apparently missed:
See that time before Roosevelt took over, when the Republican President saw a decrease of 70% in one year? I guess that is so long ago that it isn't really part of history. And note that the last five drops of 10% occurred under Republicans. I can't get into a rant about Thomas Piketty here, but the fact is that the entire world is never again likely to see sustained growth rates above 3%, except in the wake of devastating wars or depressions. Of course, what Jim Hoft knows about economics is exactly nothing, so I'll just drop the issue here.
Well, that is, as I said, just the last six months' contribution of Jim to Wingnut Wrapup. But now, he will be in the White House press room, instead of CNN and the Washington Post. Yup, this is who is going to be responsible for seeing that the truth about the President is accurately reported. How nice.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "CNN Quietly Releases Updated Pic Showing Trump’s Inaugural Crowd Size Greater than Obama’s 2009 Inaugural Crowd"
And here it is, from the Stupidest Man on the Internet:
A photo from the Capitol, in which you can't see a thing past the reflecting pool, of the mall itself. Man, these people are into lying to themselves.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "HYPOCRITES! Top Obama Officials Join Fight Against TRUMP on Temporary Refugee Ban – Were SILENT When Obama Did It"
Maybe that would be because Obama never did it. Nah, it's because they are evil.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Trump Added-Saved 1.3 Million Jobs Before His First Full Day of Work!"
Talk about alternative facts.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Organizer For DC Women’s March Against Trump Pictured Flashing the ISIS Sign"
And here they are, the horror:
This is just intolerable. Proof that all liberals are really Muslim terrorists!!! And believe me, it doesn't stop there:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "BREAKING: Far Left Group Is Paying Activists a Monthly Salary to Stop TRUMP"
The treachery! No one on the right ever paid someone to work against Democrats, did they?
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "WTH?… Intelligence Report that Claims Russia was Behind Trump Win Was Based on Intel from 2012 Russian TV"
No it wasn't. How stupid do you think people are, Jim? The report specifically said that it contained conclusions but not sources, because that would reveal our intelligence apparatus.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "OF COURSE: Obama Makes Last Ditch Effort To EMPTY GITMO Before Leaving Office...This has nothing to do with America’s national security, it’s all about Obama."
No, Jim, it has to do with this: "In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial..."
Apparently, for Republicans, it's okay to keep people in prison for a decade and a half without even charging them with a crime. Just shows, once again, how much they really care about the Constitution, or even about the barest shreds of common human decency.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "TRUMP Drops Bomb at Al Smith Dinner, Says “Hillary Is So Corrupt… She’s Pretending Not to Hate Catholics” BRUTAL! Donald Trump Destroyed Hillary at the Alfred E. Smith Catholic Dinner in New York City tonight."
A great victory for Trump, except maybe the part where the audience of rich New York Catholics, which should be just about his most loyal constituency, booed Trump for saying that. Jim didn't notice the booing, I guess.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "What Media Won’t Tell You: ‘How to Vote Trump’ Is Crushing “How to Vote Hillary’ on Google"
More evidence of why he's called the Stupidest Man On The Internet. Jim, Hillary's voters already know how to vote, because they have been good citizens for a long time. The assholes that look up "how to vote Trump" probably have to start their day by googling "how to tie your shoes."
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Anonymous: Video of Bill Clinton Raping 13 Yr-Old Girl Will Plunge Race into Chaos"
Jim also claims:
"Anonymous claims the video will plunge the presidential race into chaos. The video was released this week."
The video was released this week. And the press is ignoring it. Right, Jim. If you are interested, you can watch it here.
(sorry, video no longer available, for some strange reason.)
I wouldn't bother if I were you, because the video, loosely aping Anonymous' style, contains not one frame of Bill Clinton or anything else, other than a guy in a Guy Fawkes mask making a bunch of disgusting, unproven claims. Expect a lot more of this in the next month.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "WIKILEAKS BOMBSHELL: Hillary Advisors Admit She “HATES EVERYDAY AMERICANS”
Right. And now, from Jim, a new crime:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Wikileaks Documents Show Hillary Clinton ‘Read from a Prepared Script’ During MSNBC Interview"
She read from a script! Off to prison with her! I'm guessing Republicans are trying to make that a crime, since their candidate seems incapable of anything but violent, hate-filled stream-of-conscience shouting.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Laura Ingraham: We’ve Been Waiting for a Republican to Beat Up On the Clintons for 30 Years"
Until last night, they never had a bad word to say about them, and always treated them with infinite respect.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Breaking: POKER PRO AGREES – Hillary Was Sending Hand Signals to Debate Moderator Holt"
AND to her lizard person handlers.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Science Update: Florida Doctor Links ‘Low Testosterone Levels’ to Men Who Support Clinton"
A joke by this Florida doctor, but not obvious enough that the legendary Stupidest Man on the Internet didn't fall for it.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Democrat Senator Claire McCaskill Body Shames Trump: Calls For Daily Weigh-Ins"
And talk about jokes that Jim Hoft doesn't get. And Jim isn't done with the stupidity yet:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Obama Admin Denies Jerusalem Is In Israeal"
Really, I don't even know where "Israeal" is.
Jim, you should learn to follow one of Green Eagle's basic rules of political commentary: If you can't spell the name of a country, you should keep your mouth shut about it.
And of course, a couple of stories about the Charlotte police murderer by a guy who knows how to lie with the best of them:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "BREAKING: Dash Cam Video Shows Keith Scott Getting Out of Car, Coming at Officers, With GUN IN HAND"
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Gov. McCrory Declares State of Emergency – Says Gun Was Found on Street Where Keith Scott Was Shot"
Funny, you aren't seeing these two stories anywhere else than the right wing media, where they are being repeated ad infinitum as absolute truth.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "UPDATE: House Panel to Look Into Reddit Post That Blows Hillary Email Scandal Wide Open"
Trying to delete personal e-mail addresses from documents about to be made public- this blows the E-mail scandal wide open. Sure it does, Jim. Because that's all you've got after spending years and millions of dollars turning this ordinary conduct into a scandal. But this is all it takes to crank up the House Republican witch hunt a month and a half before the election.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Unreal! Donald Trump Jr. Comes Under Fire for Comparing Muslim Refugees to Skittles"
Lighten up, Jim. Apparently not much to lie about today, huh?
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "It Begins. Mayor Forced to Apologize After Posting Photo of Burka Cucumber"
What begins? I mean really. Jim always likes to say "it begins," but what the hell does he think is beginning, with a picture of a cucumber that looks like a burka? A new round of vegetable abuse? What? I mean, what is beginning with this?
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "It Begins… Hillary’s Health Concerns Make Top Story in National Enquirer...At least there’s one news organization that is not afraid of running stories on Hillary Clinton’s poor health."
At least one? How about a thousand wingnut sites and mainstream news outlets that have been pounding out this lie for months? And there's the "It begins" thing, again. Jim, what begins, and how can it be beginning when you have been screaming about it for ever? And finally, this filthy rag full of lies, owned by Trump's best friend, is a "news organization?" Give me a break.
And a good-as-gold medical question from the legendary Stupidest Man on the Internet:
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "If It’s Just Pneumonia That’s Keeping Hillary Down – Why the Shades?"
Oh, I don't know, maybe because it was really sunny out? Or maybe we should take Jim's suggestion seriously:
"One post on Twitter...suggested that the glasses are not regular sun glasses. That is why she was wearing them. "
They weren't regular sun glasses. They were probably those ones specially made to fit lizard people from outer space.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "WOW! Liberal Media Pushes Conspiracy Theory That Putin and Trump Poisoned Sick Hillary"
WOW!!! Well, one guy who thinks that might be possible. I follow the liberal media very closely, and I saw not one single thing about this, until I learned about it from Jim Hoft.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Obama Snubbed by Chinese, Forced to Exit from “Ass” of Air Force One"
More unexcelled stupidity from the "stupidest man on the internet." The lower staircase was provided on Air Force One specifically for situations where an appropriate landing staircase is not available, which is more and more common, as most airports that Obama would fly into use jetways, and only have staircases for small, regional planes, not for something the size of Air Force One.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Obama’s America: Parents Warned Elementary School Has Leprosy Outbreak...Jurupa Unified School District officials received an unconfirmed report that two Indian Hills Elementary School students were diagnosed with leprosy, which prompted them to send a letter home to parents Friday, Sept. 2. Though the information has not been confirmed, said Superintendent Elliott Duchon, school district officials decided to send the letter home as a precaution."
A new height in "I blame Obama." Two kids in a school in Riverside County, CA, may have contracted leprosy, or may not have. It's all Obama's fault. God in heaven above, when people call Jim the "stupidest man on the internet," you can see why.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Outrageous! Black Teen on Probation Slaps 5 Yr-Old Girl on School Bus "
Will the horrors never cease?
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Flood Victims Cheer Trump in Louisiana: “We Knew You’d Be Here!”
WE knew he'd be there too- no camera in the country that he's not leaping in front of these days. I just hope that his cheering victims didn't also "know" that he would do a damned thing to help them, because he isn't there to help them, he's there to pretend he cares about anyone but himself. That's okay, though. No one that is not as stupid as Jim fell for it. And continuing Jim's crap about the rains in Louisiana:
"TRUMP COMFORTS LOUISIANA FLOOD VICTIMS – Obama Lectures Victims on Racism… From Golf Course"
Obama lectures victims of racism, and, of course, leads a highly organized and effective FEMA operation to deal with the problem. Jim forgot that part. Meanwhile, Trump "comforts" flood victims by giving them free Play-Doh.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "PROTESTERS Crash Trump Fundraiser, BEAT AND ROB Trump Supporters Leaving MN Convention Center"
The Trump supporters were robbed blind if they gave a nickel to his campaign. And as for any Trump people that were harmed, take another look at the video of real Trump supporters I posted a while ago. These people deserve to be beaten bloody; and don't try to tell me I am wrong here- they are anti-American racists determined to destroy our country so they can live in the white supremacist dictatorship they are yearning for. Getting a few eggs thrown at them (the majority of the violence here) doesn't even begin to be what they deserve.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "BREAKING=> TOP PHYSICIAN: Hillary Clinton Has Parkinson’s Disease"
Well, let's see now: I've discovered by looking online for about ten minutes that she has permanent brain damage, grand mal seizures, AIDS, dementia, brain tumors and several other kinds of cancer, clinical depression, coughing, acting "extremely weird," three strokes, multiple sclerosis, alcoholism, "transverse sinus thrombosis," whatever in hell that is, and now Parkinson's disease. And one of the articles I read went on to say that her shoes cost too much.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS DEATH=> Activist and Sanders Supporter Who Served Papers to DNC on Fraud Case Found Dead"
Hilary killed again!!!! Of course, the medical examiner said that the guy committed suicide, and it was not "mysterious" at all, but then, well, BENGHAZI!!!! E-MAILS!!! VINCE FOSTER!!!
I think she's up to 80 or so now. No kidding, some of the wingnut lists of her murders are that long.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Busted! Crooked Media Plays With Polling Numbers To Pretend Georgia Is Hillary Country...Another day – another blatant example of the media manipulating polls to discourage Trump voters."
Discouraging Trump voters by "playing" with poll numbers- i.e. by reporting them.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "RECENT VIDEOS Show Hillary Clinton HIGHLY UNSTABLE – On Brink of Nervous Breakdown"
Hillary is the crazy one. Well, Jim, that's a new high in "both sides do it" nonsense. Jim Continues:
"Maybe all of that serial lying is finally catching up with her. Does anyone really believe this woman is fit to sit in the Oval Office?"
Jim obviously believes that if he just continues blaming Hillary for any problem Trump has, it will cancel out everything about the worst candidate in over a hundred years. Well, we'll see, won't we? He might be right.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "MUST SEE=> Iowa Parade Float Depicts Crooked Hillary in Orange Jump Suit in Jail"
It's the closest they are ever going to get to actually putting Hillary in jail for the crime of being a Democrat- a parade in some God-forsaken Iowa rathole of a town, so you might as well enjoy it while it lasts, Jim. She's been exonerated from literally hundreds of false Republican charges, and been found guilty of not one single one of them, so just watch the parade and daydream. And to think you guys are having fits over some guy asking if Trump has ever read the constitution.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "What a Shock=> Trump Implosion Stories Completely Fabricated by Liberal Media Hacks"
Keep telling yourself that, Jim. Your own guys are comparing his campaign to a trip on the Titanic. No wonder they call Jim the Stupidest Man on the Internet.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Speaking Truth to Power=> Donald Trump on Hillary: “She’s the Devil!”
It's literally true. She's really Satan. You know what, if I were Satan, I wouldn't really dress myself in a Hillary costume, I'd go for Scarlett Johanssen or something. Actually, from everything I've heard, Scarlett Johanssen may really be Satan, but that's a discussion for another time.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Barack Obama Rips Ignorant, Indecent, “Woefully Unprepared” Donald Trump for SIX MINUTES at Presser...Obama Has Trump on the Brain"
SIX MINUTES!!! Well, no one ever said Jim has a long attention span.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Why Does America Love Trump? Because Liberal Media Hacks Are Nasty Pathetic Liars"
Okay, now I understand it. They don't like liberal reporters, so they will turn the country over to a traitorous fascist dictator. Seems a little extreme to me, but what do I know?
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Venezuela’s Socialist Government Passes New Law Forcing Minions to Work in Fields"
Which has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common with constant Republican attempts for forty years to force poor people to work for welfare or food stamps. NOTHING, I tell you!
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Simply the Worst=> Obama is FIRST PRESIDENT EVER to Not See Single Year of 3% GDP Growth"
Jim is just so well informed. Here's a little chart that he apparently missed:
See that time before Roosevelt took over, when the Republican President saw a decrease of 70% in one year? I guess that is so long ago that it isn't really part of history. And note that the last five drops of 10% occurred under Republicans. I can't get into a rant about Thomas Piketty here, but the fact is that the entire world is never again likely to see sustained growth rates above 3%, except in the wake of devastating wars or depressions. Of course, what Jim Hoft knows about economics is exactly nothing, so I'll just drop the issue here.
Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: "Wow! Media Missed This=> Did Hillary Suffer Another Seizure After Her DNC Speech?"
Well, that is, as I said, just the last six months' contribution of Jim to Wingnut Wrapup. But now, he will be in the White House press room, instead of CNN and the Washington Post. Yup, this is who is going to be responsible for seeing that the truth about the President is accurately reported. How nice.
Comments
And that's just counting the comedians.
Recognize that line? Steve, I have believed for decades now that Evangelical Christianity is not a religion at all, but a pseudo religion which demands nothing of its followers, and exists solely to let them go on their rampage of greed and hatred, while telling themselves that they are the ones who are really moral. The ultimate proof of this is the Evangelical doctrine of salvation of faith, which is directly contradictory to the plain words of Christ.
He can't be that. I've seen bigger boneheads than him leave comments on this site.