Friday, September 27, 2013

Wingnut Wrapup

Respectfully dedicated today to Allen West, who, after being kicked out of the army for torturing prisoners and barely surviving one term in Congress before getting booted by the voters, has now been fired by PJ Media, one of Wingnut Wrapup's main sources for right wing piggishness, for some sort of violent anti-Semitic outburst which we all know has to go far beyond the details that have emerged.  Bye Allen- again.

Leah Barkoukis, Town Hall:  "Samuel L. Jackson to Obama: Stop Dropping Your G’s, “Be F***ing Presidential”

Barack Obama to Samuel L. Jackson:  "I got Osama Bin Laden.  You got some snakes.  On a plane.  In a movie.  Listen, when I can use your advice, I'll get back to you.

Jonah Goldberg, Town Hall:  "Ted Cruz, the GOP's Obama"

Ha.  What next, "Green Eagle, the GOP's Kobe Bryant"?  That makes just as much sense.

Daniel J. Mitchell, Town Hall:  "Is Defending the Second Amendment akin to Supporting Slavery?"

It pretty much is these days, yeah, Daniel.  Judging from who supports both of those things.

Ben Shapiro, Town Hall:  "What happens when all of America's major metro areas go blue and those populations control states with conservative rural populations? What happens when those conservatives get sick of paying for the excesses of leftist governance? "

Well, I hope they stop the excesses, seeing as how they mainly consist of Democrats in the cities supporting Conservatives in rural areas.  I'd really like to see all of you self-reliant patriots support your own lives for a change.

Andrew C. McCarthy, PJ Media:  "If Ted Cruz’s Plan Is Implausible, What’s the GOP Establishment’s Plausible Strategy Against Obamacare?"

Rage.  And lies.  Pretty much the same as always.

Rick Moran, PJ Media:  "Socialism in Action: Venezuelan Government Takes Over Toilet Paper Factory"

Man, that sure is a world-class outrage.  The Koch brothers taking over our Congress?  Not so important.

Gina Miller, Renew America:  "Defunding and stopping Obamacare--it's now or never"

It's never, Gina.  Deal with it.

Michael Bresciani, Renew America:  "Has the pope taken his first steps into Last Days apostasy?"

Well, he's trying to act like a decent human being.  The Pope not acting like an out of control jerk- why, that must be a sign of the apocalypse coming.

Laurie Roth, Renew America:  "Egypt has the guts to do it--Will America, before it is too late?"

What, build some pyramids?  Embalm our leaders?  No, stop...I don't really want to know.

Newsmax:  "Roger Ailes: I Don't Fear Jon Stewart"

Well, aren't you the tough guy, Roger.

Melanie Batley, Newsmax:  "Obama's Approval Ratings Tank"

Oh my God!!!!  They've tanked to...let's see now...exactly one point below the place they have been in late September for the last five years!  He's finished!

Tony Lee,  "Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT), one of the architects of the defunding Obamacare strategy in the Senate, compared the the battle to defund Obamacare to the Revolutionary War."

What, you couldn't get Hitler in there somehow?

AP:  "$1M of suspected cocaine found in kidney bean cans in Mass."

They should go to New Orleans.  That's pretty much a standard ingredient in red beans and rice.  Pretty much explains why there's a trombone player on every street corner.

Daniel J. Mitchell, Town Hall:  "Daniel J. Mitchell: Should American Taxpayers Pay a $1 Billion Bribe to Get Syria to Drop Chemical Weapons?  I viscerally object to the notion that good people should pay bad people not to do bad things."

Well, great, Daniel.  How about if we stop paying corporations to cease polluting our air and water.  Make them pay to fix the problems they caused.  Why is it that I suspect that Daniel isn't quite ready to go that far with his idea?

Debra J. Saunders, Town Hall:  "Debra J. Saunders: Congress Should Cut Food Stamp Program...When House Republicans voted to cut the food stamp program by $39 billion over the next decade, Democrats charged GOP cruelty. Strategist Donna Brazile wrote that the move was a "heartless act," not "an example of government tightening its belt or making tough choices."

Tough choices- choosing to give more money to rich people and less to poor people.  Yeah, that was really a tough choice for your side, Debra.  Of course, you guys are good at this particular tough choice, having made it about fifty thousand times in a row now.  So, let's be even more savage to the poor- after all, isn't that what Jesus wanted?

Brad Jackson, Red State:  "The Impact of Ted Cruz’s 21 Hour Obamacare Slugfest"

Nothing.  That was the impact of Ted Cruz's "slugfest," Brad.  Nothing.  Deal with it.

Michael Walsh, PJ Media:  "Ted Cruz is helping to smash the Styrofoam columns. "

Well, good.  At least that will keep him off the street.  Just remember to clean up after yourself when you are done, Ted.

Reverend Austin Myles, Renew America:  "Church bombing in Pakistan followed by earthquake - coincident?"

Austin, everything is followed by an earthquake eventually.  Austin continues:

"It is time for all Muslims to thlnk about the possibility of having been deceived by the religion they have been recruited into which is contrary to every tenet of the true God, who will not be mocked."

I think you should give some consideration to the same thing, Austin.  If you get my point.

Rudy Takala, Renew America:  "FreedomWorks finds electorate looking for conservatives...Last week's polling data released by FreedomWorks indicates that voters – especially young voters – have become far less supportive of a powerful federal government since President Obama assumed office"

Of course, these are the same people that predicted that Mitt was going to win in a landslide.

Pamela Geller, American Thinker:  "America was once thought of as a light unto nations. Obama has single-handedly extinguished that light."

Without any help from your guys George Bush and Dick Cheney invading an innocent country, killing half a million people, torturing people and throwing them in prison without trials.  Oh no, that had nothing to do with extinguishing our light.  It was all Obama and...something.

Rewrite note:  I took out the tuches jokes.  Even Green Eagle has some sort of self-respect.

1 comment:

Magpie said...

Bresciani then launches into a full-on hate speech against Catholicism in general. Apparently THAT version of following Jesus just isn’t any good, according to him.

And just in case anyone wonders what Bresciani’s take is on not being obsessed about other people’s sex lives…

“The prophetic part of the bible contradicts the Pope's assertion that believers are obsessed with homosexuality and abortion. In fact it warns that in the last days it is possession (demonic) that will fuel the slide into apostasy the world over. Political correctness, floundering Pontiff's and general acceptance of everything the bible condemns, is proof immutable that the NWO, apostasy and the emergence of the Antichrist are well on track for the very near future.”

Like it has been for the last 2000 years without anything actually happening but a bunch of malignant scum like Bresciani wanting an intra-faith war.