Saturday, October 15, 2011

Wingnut Wrapup

Again!  Again I taunt you with the mighty reasoning of the right!  And here I go!

Guy Benson, Town Hall:  "Earlier today, Katie posted a clip from last night's Freedom Watch, in which a retired US Army officer suggests the foiled Iranian-backed terrorist plot might be a manufactured crisis by the Obama administration.  The segment was brimming with conjecture and dark theorizing.  If true, the allegations raised would represent a stunning betrayal of a the public trust..."

Of course, it was just fine when Bush manufactured a phony crisis in Iraq, at a cost of two trillion dollars, and a result of nothing except big profits for Halliburton and Blackwater.   Mr. Benson reluctantly concedes that the right is going to be unable to convince very many people that this malignant fable is true, but he finishes by encouraging right wingers everywhere to keep looking for any other lie that they can pin on Obama.

Soren Dayton, Red State:  "Fraud in signature collection for Obama and Hillary in 2008"

The horror!  Yes, right wingers have apparently found one person who claims he didn't sign his name to a petition in Indiana to put Obama on the ballot!  How this compares to, say, the 50,000 black people who were systematically and illegally removed from the voter rolls in Florida in 2000 by George Bush's brother, Soren doesn't say.

Red State:  "UPDATE: The UAW’s Heavy-Handedness: Union Threatens Ford With Strike"

How DARE they threaten to STRIKE?  That is the act of THUGS that are trying to start a CLASS WAR; i.e. not just letting rich people have everything.  What has become of our American spirit?

Bob Owens, Confederate Yankee:  ""Revolution, man!"
"Yeah, like anarchy, man!"
"We're gonna take it back from the fat cats, man!"
"Power to the people!"

A bad LSB flashback to the 60s? Unfortunately, no."

No, Bob, it's a good flashback to the 60's, the last time a popular movement had any effect on our government.  Deal with it.

Selwyn Duke, Renew America:  "The black U.S. attorney has common cause with the black criminal"

Oh no, we're not racist.  YOU are racist for calling us that!  Because ALL black people are in league with criminals- everyone knows that.

World Net Daily:  "Would you vote for 'Joe the Plumber'?"

Oh, sure.  For what? Dickhead of the decade?

World Net Daily:  "Former 'SNL' actress Victoria Jackson grills protesters"

I thought cannibalism was illegal.

World Net Daily:  "House GOP approves new free-trade deals "

I guess they don't even bother to count Democrats' votes any more.

World Net Daily:  "SPECIAL OFFER-Want a diagnosis of America's true ailments?"

Sorry, you can't have a diagnosis.  America couldn't afford the insurance.

Thomas Lifson, American Thinker:  "Sadly, President Obama does not seem up to the task of coping with the subtlety and complexity of diplomacy in East Asia."

Unlike, say, President Bush, who knew how to deal with diplomatic subtlety and complexity:  Bomb the hell out of them.

Erika Johnson, Town Hall:  "Friday Fun: Wall Street Hippies"

Can anyone believe that these people are so pathetic, so out of any rational argument, that they have descended to calling their opponents "hippies?"  Man, that's really going to scare people.

Mona Charen, Town Hall:  "Obama's Weakness Invited Iran's Plot...The regime in Iran has been killing Americans in Iraq and Afghanistan for many years and has sworn countless times in the past 30 years to preside over the destruction of the United States. If it wasn't for a lucky break, Washington D.C., this autumn, would have been the scene of a massive explosion detonated at a high-end restaurant, with scores and perhaps hundreds killed and maimed."

A couple of things to note about this brilliant bit of conservative wisdom:  First of all, Obama apparently caused the Iranians to start planning the destruction of the United States when he was a 20 year old college student- quite an accomplishment in anti-Americanism.  Second, when American security agents stop a terrorist plot during a Republican administration, it's a masterstroke that thoroughly vindicates decades of Republican jingoism; when it happens during a Democratic administration, it's a lucky break.  Thanks for making that clear, Mona.

Floyd and Mary Beth Brown, Town Hall:  "Occupy Wall Street is a Menace, Prepare for Violence"

More insightful analysis from the Bonnie and Clyde of stupidity.  No direct evidence pointing to that violence, of course, just that some protesters fought with the police a long time ago, in a...well, you get it.  The answer:  people on the left should just shut up and go home.  The government does not exist for your benefit, and that thing about petitioning for redress of grievances?  Well, that's for the Koch Brothers.  "Petitioning" having been defined by Republican legal scholars as "Having enough money to pay Congressmen to get what you want."

Jeannieology, Renew America:  "Obama's bevy of Latina lovelies"

Yes indeed, Obama having chosen a couple of Hispanic women as advisors demonstrates some sort of deep sexual perversion.   Since, apparently, they could not possibly have anything real to contribute to our national discourse.

Michelle Malkin, Renew America:  "President Obama blames Republicans for the collapse of his latest government jobs bill. But in the end, he has only his tall tale-telling tongue to blame."

Because the defeat of the bill had absolutely nothing, NOTHING, I say, to do with the fact that every single Republican voted against it.  Now, if Obama had only added a few more tax cuts for the rich,  or a law preventing people from suing corporations, maybe things would have been different.  So see, it is his fault.

Chuck Baldwin:  "Feds: states have no rights"

Well then, maybe they should file papers to become corporations.  Then they'd be people and have all sorts of rights.

And finally, listen, I'm not even going to comment about this one, but if you care to, you can go to the a Pajamas Media web page and read all about the terrible threat to our nation posed by criminal vampires.  Yes, you read that right.  Man, these people's paranoia knows no bounds.  Of course, it's all the fault of liberal permissiveness.

Catch ya later.

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