A Miscellaneous Collection of Nonsense
I've gotten so bored with the usual right wing jackasses I cover in Wingnut Wrapup. I thought I'd see how close to their mendacity and viciousness our more mainstream political figures are getting these days. Here's a little collection I've seen recently. It's a sad comment on our country that this sort of thing is considered an acceptable part of our discourse:
It ended up shaping policy by ending a vicious war of aggression in which we murdered over two million civilians, and also in driving a corrupt criminal out of the White House. Oh yes, those were horrid times we'd never want to see ever again.
And here's a good use of our Republican legislators' time:
"The House Judiciary Committee passed a bill yesterday that would make it a federal crime for U.S. residents to discuss or plan activities on foreign soil that, if carried out in the U.S., would violate the Controlled Substances Act (CSA) -- even if the planned activities are legal in the countries where they're carried out."
Think about the doors that precedent will open for foreign countries: "The Iranian Mullahs enacted a law yesterday that would make criticizing Islam a capital crime, even if it occurred in the United States." Oh yes, I am sure that would be just fine with the idiot Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee.
Mitt Romney: "As President, on Day One, I will focus on rebuilding America’s economy. I will reverse President Obama’s massive defense cuts. Time and again, we have seen that attempts to balance the budget by weakening our military only lead to a far higher price, not only in treasure, but in blood."
Of course, Obama has actually raised the defense budget. But what's a little lie, when it gets to a greater truth: one of them has no right to be in the White House. And by the way, when has weakening our military ever "lead to a far higher price, not only in treasure, but in blood?" The only times that occur to me are when the Republicans fought tooth and nail to prevent our preparation for World War II, and when Bush and Cheney wouldn't pay for body armor and protected vehicles for the troops. No wonder Mitt didn't cite any examples.
Liz Trotta, Fox News: " I advise anybody who has a sense of humor left about this to go to OccupyWallStreet.com and what you will read is the ravings of what sounds like the Unabomber"
That's right- asking for basic fairness in this country makes you a terrorist. On the other hand, attending a demonstration paid for by the Koch brothers to push their interests is very patriotic. Liz continues with her incisive analysis:
"Now, what's interesting about this is that media seems, the liberal media is being accused of setting this up for Obama, so that he can use this as a, these people as a wedge against the Republicans in the election."
You see, Obama and the Democrats have no right to organize their natural constituency to support their re-election. Unlike the Republicans, who could never be accused of anything but the most patriotic of motives in paying to create the dumb show that is the Tea Party.
Okay, okay, while we are on the subject of Occupy Wall Street, I can't resist at least one visit with one of our favorite right wing opinion makers:
Jim Hoft: "Well, Duh!… Business Owners Complain Camp Poopstock Goons Want Everything For Free."
Camp Poopstock. A phrase that will live forever. Man, that guy has a way with words. No wonder so many right wingers turn to him for political analysis.
And now, a classic example of right wing debating at its finest:
"Alan Grayson: Let me tell what they're talking about. They're complaining about the fact the Wall Street wrecked the economy three years ago and nobody's held responsible for that. Not a single person has been indicted or convicted for destroying twenty percent of our national net worth accumulated over two centuries. They're upset about the fact that wall street have iron control over economic policies of this country and that one party is a wholly owned subsidiary of wall street and the other party caters to them as well, that's the truth of the matter as you said before. And…
P. J. O'Rourke: Get the man a bongo drum...Get your shoes off, get a bongo drum, forget where to go to the bathroom and it's yours."
"Get that man a bongo drum." That's Nobel Economics Prize analysis there, P. J. Keep up the hard work of dealing with the causes of our economic troubles; you are being so helpful. Why, until now, I never realized how destructive bongos really are. Those beatniks have a lot to answer for.
Paul Ryan: "I think he’s preying on the emotions of fear, envy and anger,” the Wisconsin Republican said today on NBC’s “Meet The Press.” “And that is not constructive to unifying America. I think he’s broken his promise as a uniter, and now he’s dividing people. And to me, that’s very unproductive. That’s not who we are in America."
"I think this divisive rhetoric is fairly — is divisive,” he said. “I think it’s troubling. Sowing class envy and social unrest is not what we do in America."
No, what we do in America, if by "we" you mean "Republicans," is steal everything that's not tied down, and then blame the victims for not having anything left.
Of course, this "senior House Democratic official" doesn't quite have a name (as is usual in right wing accounts of what Democrats really believe,) but let's ignore that, and concentrate on the very real danger that people who have had their lives destroyed by a pack of rich sociopaths might go from talking, all the way to throwing trash cans! Now, that is criminal behavior that cannot be tolerated, and which totally discredits anything they have to say, so they might as well all go home, because no one is listening. At least not anyone with both the power and the will to fix the problems in our country. People with that combination all died out around 1964.
And now, how about a couple of magnificent examples of the sort of governing that we have come to expect from Republicans:
"Officials in southeast Georgia are considering a money-saving program that would put inmates in fire stations...Officials say the inmates would respond to all emergencies - including residential fires - alongside traditional firefighters."
Well, that's nice. I'm sure the inmates will appreciate the opportunity to "protect" whatever doesn't get burned up in the fires. What could possibly go wrong with this scheme? I mean, honesty and experience- what good are they for fighting fires?
"Via Think Progress, the news that the Topeka, Kansas city council is thinking of repealing their domestic violence misdemeanor laws in order to save money prosecuting them."
Of course, don't even think that they might take the same approach toward, say, marijuana possession.
But, if you should happen to feel like beating up your wife, well, go right ahead. The family values party is right behind you.
And a word of warning to you women out there: If your husband suddenly comes up with the brilliant idea of taking your family vacation this year in Topeka, I'd consider going to Rapid City or Sioux Falls or something instead.
Republican representative Peter King, speaking about Occupy Wall Street: "“We have to be careful not to allow this to get any legitimacy,” he said, adding “I’m taking this seriously in that I’m old enough to remember what happened in the 1960s when the left-wing took to the streets and somehow the media glorified them and it ended up shaping policy. We can’t allow that to happen.”
It ended up shaping policy by ending a vicious war of aggression in which we murdered over two million civilians, and also in driving a corrupt criminal out of the White House. Oh yes, those were horrid times we'd never want to see ever again.
And here's a good use of our Republican legislators' time:
"The House Judiciary Committee passed a bill yesterday that would make it a federal crime for U.S. residents to discuss or plan activities on foreign soil that, if carried out in the U.S., would violate the Controlled Substances Act (CSA) -- even if the planned activities are legal in the countries where they're carried out."
Think about the doors that precedent will open for foreign countries: "The Iranian Mullahs enacted a law yesterday that would make criticizing Islam a capital crime, even if it occurred in the United States." Oh yes, I am sure that would be just fine with the idiot Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee.
Mitt Romney: "As President, on Day One, I will focus on rebuilding America’s economy. I will reverse President Obama’s massive defense cuts. Time and again, we have seen that attempts to balance the budget by weakening our military only lead to a far higher price, not only in treasure, but in blood."
Of course, Obama has actually raised the defense budget. But what's a little lie, when it gets to a greater truth: one of them has no right to be in the White House. And by the way, when has weakening our military ever "lead to a far higher price, not only in treasure, but in blood?" The only times that occur to me are when the Republicans fought tooth and nail to prevent our preparation for World War II, and when Bush and Cheney wouldn't pay for body armor and protected vehicles for the troops. No wonder Mitt didn't cite any examples.
Liz Trotta, Fox News: " I advise anybody who has a sense of humor left about this to go to OccupyWallStreet.com and what you will read is the ravings of what sounds like the Unabomber"
That's right- asking for basic fairness in this country makes you a terrorist. On the other hand, attending a demonstration paid for by the Koch brothers to push their interests is very patriotic. Liz continues with her incisive analysis:
"Now, what's interesting about this is that media seems, the liberal media is being accused of setting this up for Obama, so that he can use this as a, these people as a wedge against the Republicans in the election."
You see, Obama and the Democrats have no right to organize their natural constituency to support their re-election. Unlike the Republicans, who could never be accused of anything but the most patriotic of motives in paying to create the dumb show that is the Tea Party.
Okay, okay, while we are on the subject of Occupy Wall Street, I can't resist at least one visit with one of our favorite right wing opinion makers:
Jim Hoft: "Well, Duh!… Business Owners Complain Camp Poopstock Goons Want Everything For Free."
Camp Poopstock. A phrase that will live forever. Man, that guy has a way with words. No wonder so many right wingers turn to him for political analysis.
And now, a classic example of right wing debating at its finest:
"Alan Grayson: Let me tell what they're talking about. They're complaining about the fact the Wall Street wrecked the economy three years ago and nobody's held responsible for that. Not a single person has been indicted or convicted for destroying twenty percent of our national net worth accumulated over two centuries. They're upset about the fact that wall street have iron control over economic policies of this country and that one party is a wholly owned subsidiary of wall street and the other party caters to them as well, that's the truth of the matter as you said before. And…
P. J. O'Rourke: Get the man a bongo drum...Get your shoes off, get a bongo drum, forget where to go to the bathroom and it's yours."
"Get that man a bongo drum." That's Nobel Economics Prize analysis there, P. J. Keep up the hard work of dealing with the causes of our economic troubles; you are being so helpful. Why, until now, I never realized how destructive bongos really are. Those beatniks have a lot to answer for.
Paul Ryan: "I think he’s preying on the emotions of fear, envy and anger,” the Wisconsin Republican said today on NBC’s “Meet The Press.” “And that is not constructive to unifying America. I think he’s broken his promise as a uniter, and now he’s dividing people. And to me, that’s very unproductive. That’s not who we are in America."
"I think this divisive rhetoric is fairly — is divisive,” he said. “I think it’s troubling. Sowing class envy and social unrest is not what we do in America."
No, what we do in America, if by "we" you mean "Republicans," is steal everything that's not tied down, and then blame the victims for not having anything left.
“That’s the danger with something like this — that you go from peaceful protests to throwing trash cans,” said a senior House Democratic official, who spoke on condition of anonymity..."
Of course, this "senior House Democratic official" doesn't quite have a name (as is usual in right wing accounts of what Democrats really believe,) but let's ignore that, and concentrate on the very real danger that people who have had their lives destroyed by a pack of rich sociopaths might go from talking, all the way to throwing trash cans! Now, that is criminal behavior that cannot be tolerated, and which totally discredits anything they have to say, so they might as well all go home, because no one is listening. At least not anyone with both the power and the will to fix the problems in our country. People with that combination all died out around 1964.
And now, how about a couple of magnificent examples of the sort of governing that we have come to expect from Republicans:
"Officials in southeast Georgia are considering a money-saving program that would put inmates in fire stations...Officials say the inmates would respond to all emergencies - including residential fires - alongside traditional firefighters."
Well, that's nice. I'm sure the inmates will appreciate the opportunity to "protect" whatever doesn't get burned up in the fires. What could possibly go wrong with this scheme? I mean, honesty and experience- what good are they for fighting fires?
"Via Think Progress, the news that the Topeka, Kansas city council is thinking of repealing their domestic violence misdemeanor laws in order to save money prosecuting them."
Of course, don't even think that they might take the same approach toward, say, marijuana possession.
But, if you should happen to feel like beating up your wife, well, go right ahead. The family values party is right behind you.
And a word of warning to you women out there: If your husband suddenly comes up with the brilliant idea of taking your family vacation this year in Topeka, I'd consider going to Rapid City or Sioux Falls or something instead.
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