Saturday, February 6, 2016

Wingnut Wrapup

If you don't empty the garbage can, there won't be any room for more garbage, will there?  Of course, some of you may criticize Green Eagle here, bringing up the fact that jumping in the garbage can isn't the same as emptying it, but maybe the garbage will get crushed down so there will be room for more:

These days, they're scared of everything:

Justin Holcombe, Town Hall:  "Yikes: Iran Flew Drone Over US Aircraft Carrier"

Absolute proof, I guess, that Obama is a weak leader, since he didn't bomb the crap out of Iran, using this meaningless act as an excuse.

Bryan Crabtree, Town Hall:  "Think Trump’s Bankruptcies Make Him Unqualified? That's Foolish"

Proof of how much "success" in business really means to Republicans.  Because nothing makes a person more qualified to be President to today's right wing, than being totally incompetent.  You know, a lot of Republicans have been idiotically screaming for years that the country is about to go bankrupt.  So maybe Trump is the most qualified person to be President- he's the only one with the experience of doing that.

Cortney O'Brien, Town Hall:  "Santorum Upset With Media Who 'Never Put His Name' on Election Polls"

Green Eagle is upset about the same thing.  Who knows- at this point Green Eagle thinks he has a pretty good shot at outpolling Santorum.

John Bicknell, Town Hall:  "The Improper Campaign Against Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton...A bedrock principle of American justice is that every defendant is treated the same."

Ha ha.  Ha ha ha.  Every defendant is treated the same.  Ha ha.  Okay, let's just move on here.

Joe Cunningham, Red State:  "Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Has The Worst Idea Imaginable"

This has something to do with using snap chat, which is apparently a worse idea than, say, invading Iran or kicking twelve million people off of health insurance, or spending fifty or sixty billion dollars building and maintaining a wall on our southern border.  Glad you've got your priorities straight, Joe.

Streiff, Red State:  "LaVoy Finicum Was Shot Dead, But Will His Death Have Any Meaning?"

No.  Simple answers to simple questions.  Actually, I feel compelled to say that Streiff, who I've commented on before, has actually written a very sensible and fair article about this incident.  I just want to take this opportunity to protest anything that might compromise the totally negative role Finicum played in our nation's history.

I'll back up my statement by doing something I rarely do here: linking to Streiff's post.

Chris Guzman, PJ Media:  "'Bored' Hillary Clinton Tweets an Image from Her Benghazi Hearing to Mock the Iowa GOPDebate ...Trolling political enemies reaches a new low."

A new low.  Lower than calling your Democratic opponents Satanic anti-American Communist terror agents who are working to destroy the country.

Jim Hoft:  "BREAKING VIDEO=> LaVoy Finicum FBI Murder Footage – With His Hands Up"

I'm just going to let this remark, from the legendary Stupidest Man On The Internet (and also the most unapologetic liar, in a very crowded right wing field,) totally contradicting what anyone can see on the video, stand in for what you know is the inevitable wingnut response to this incident- "it never happened- who you going to trust, me or your lying eyes?"

And while we are on the subject of Jim Hoft, here's the Least Likely Incident To Turn Into a Scandal, of the year so far:

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Crazed Leftist Brings Kids With Him to Spray Pro-Lifers With Tomato Juice"

Crazed rightists, of course, hole up in a government building and threaten to kill Federal agents.  That's okay, I guess.  Tomato juice, not so much.  Jim continues:

"Though often under-reported in the mainstream media, pro-life advocates who protest outside of abortion centers often are targets of harassment and sometimes violence."

Tomato Juice- violence.  Actually killing women's clinic employees, not so much.

Clenard Childress, Renew America:  "I was naked and you clothed me"

And a good thing too.  Judging from the part of you we can still see, it would not have been a pretty sight.  It only took Clenard a few sentences to descend to this point:

"The insidious Planned Parenthood was exposed dismembering live children (abortion) and the selling of their body parts. We must conclude that the "slave block" is still alive and well in America when it was discovered whole infant cadavers were being sold on the black market, all graphically recorded for all of America to see...Those who are familiar with the bible and Jesus teachings have taken a deep breath and understand that the courageous efforts of David Daleiden and the Center For Medical Progress was unquestionably an orchestrated project of God Himself"

God is all for lying.

Jeremy Eger, American Thinker:  "Donald Trump Is Aaron Burr Reincarnated"

Well, he is someone reincarnated.  That's for sure:


Rick Moran, American Thinker:  "Outrage: Administration may have handed thousands of illegal alien kids over to human traffickers"

For all we know, they may have handed them over to lizard people from outer space.  It would have been far better, I guess, to have adopted the Republican plan of just busing them up to the border and shoving them across.

And now, time for some adult conversation from the right:

Doug Giles, Town Hall:  "Dear Male Cowards: Islam LOVES Your Political CorrectnessI don't know who started the politically correct pussification process of the male collective, but I'd like to find them and pistol whip them into next week with my S&W Model 29 for ruining our planet."

Ooh, we're running scared now, Doug.  You are a manly man- why, you even have memorized the model number of your gun.

Bruce Bialosky Town Hall:  "Hillary’s Dance with The Devil...Ms. Clinton has placed at the core of her campaign the fact that she is a woman and that it would be so nice to have a woman in the White House."

I really do understand, Bruce, how to that segment of males who have never been able to understand why women do not fall at their feet, just because those males are unappealing, self-absorbed jerks, that being a woman would be the next thing to being Satan himself.  Forgive us if understanding you doesn't make us agree with you.

Years ago, Bruce used to be a columnist for the Los Angeles Times. I think they replaced him with Jonah Goldberg- the only time in the history of the world where hiring Jonah Goldberg was a move in the right direction.

Steve Chapman, Town Hall:  "Is Rising Violence a 'Ferguson Effect'?"

Just in case you didn't understand that, what Steve is saying is that crime is caused by black people being upset that a white cop gunned down an unarmed black teenager.  If they were just fine with things like that happening every few days, crime would just disappear from our society.

Roger Kimball, PJ Media:  "How to Trim the Fat in the Ivy League...Are Ivy League institutions too rich?"

This article contains the helpful suggestion that we could cut those evil Ivies down to size by one simple step:  stealing all of their money.  Really.  That's his answer to the world's most respected institutions of higher learning- destroy them, presumably so the American people could become even more ignorant and savage (i.e. Republican) than they already are.  By the way, I don't remember Roger ever asking if the Koch brothers or the Waltons, who each have more money than any one of the ivies, are too rich.

And if crushing the most respected colleges in the country doesn't do the trick, how about trying this suggestion from one of Roger's commenters?

"Cut way back on student loans and see what happens."

Kick poor people out of school- that will solve the problem.

Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit:  "Popular Conservative Liz Cheney to Run for Congress"

Giving a new meaning to the word "popular."  Something along the lines of "not hated by quite as many people as her father is."

John Hawkins, Town Hall:  "Dear American Muslims, Can We Have An Honest Talk?"

Not with someone like you, jerk.  John believes that all American Muslims need to come crawling to Christians on their knees, begging for forgiveness for ISIS.  No word about how Christians should feel about the Bundys, or Ted Cruz.

Bridget Johnson, PJ Media:  "Carson: 'Will There Be Any Consequences' for Cruz Camp's 'Dirty Tricks'?"

Yeah.  The day after there are any consequences for his attempt to sabotage the government and destroy the economy.  Or for him being fucking psychotic.

Matt Towery, Town Hall:  "Matt Towery: Messy Democrat Contest Might Result in a 'Putative' VP Choice"

Messy Democrat Contest.  Yup, that's what he said.  How do you make fun of a line like that, coming from a Republican?

Devon Herrick, Town Hall:  "Affordable Health Plans Have Gone Extinct; Obamacare Killed Them Off"

First of all, before Obamacare, there were no affordable health plans in the U.S.  Second, what about the 17 million mostly poor and moderate income people who now have medical care under Obamacare that didn't before?  Man, what's the use- it's just the same lies over and over again.

Ann Coulter, Town Hall:  "Any politician who claims to care about the drug overdose deaths sweeping the nation, but does not demand that we build a wall, deport illegal aliens and end the anchor baby scam, is a liar."

And cut taxes on the rich.  You forgot that one, Ann.  There's no such thing as a Republican plan for anything that doesn't include that.

Justin Holcomb, Town Hall:  "Watch: George W. Bush Finally Makes an Appearance for His Brother"

No thanks.  I'll just scroll back up and look at the picture of Curly for a little longer.

Michael Goldstein, American Thinker:  "Should We Destroy ISIS?  We certainly could, but would it be wise to destroy the foremost threat to Obama’s anointed hegemon, Iran, spilling more American blood and expending more of our borrowed treasure in the process?"

Well, here it is- a new low in Obama hatred.  Republicans scream bloody murder about how ISIS is going to come over here and murder all of us in our beds, but when it comes to choosing between ISIS and Obama, they still side with ISIS.  And remember when Democrats were called traitors for daring to criticize George W. Bush's three trillion dollar disaster in Iraq?

Anthony Bright-Paul, American Thinker:  "Why Skeptics are Losing the Climate Change Battle"

Because they are not "skeptics," they are paid corporate liars?

Shikha Dalmia, Reason:  "Critics Don't Want To Admit Flint's Water Crisis Is Due to Stimulus Plan Rather Than Austerity"

They don't want to admit it!  And just because it isn't true!  What a bunch of spoilsports!

Weasel Zippers:  "Russians Depict Obama As Murderous Devil Who Should Be Put On Trial At The Hague…"

Well, at last they have found common ground with the Republican party.

And that's where I get off the bus for today.

9 comments:

Magpie said...

"Russians Depict Obama As Murderous Devil Who Should Be Put On Trial At The Hague… - Well, at last they have found common ground with the Republican party."

Plus no sex education.

Poll P. said...

Good Wrap-up. My favorite is the Jonah Goldberg crack.

Zog said...

How dare you compare Donald Trump to Curly Howard.

Writers for the Three Stooges would often leave gaps in their scripts for Curly so he could improvise. They believed that, in those cases, he could come up with something funnier than they could write. Thus, Curly was actually successful at something, which is more than you can say for Trump.

Green Eagle said...

Well, Zog, I must tell you my story.

In the very early part of my career, I worked for three years at the Columbia Pictures art department, where we designed sets for TV shows. The head of the art department was Ross Bellah, who had been in the business since 1933, and had been the art director on the Columbia Three Stooges films. One day he told us that those episodes were filmed at night on whatever sets were up at the Columbia lot, often without even asking permission from the film that built them. If there was a hospital set, the stooges would be doctors. If there was a medieval movie being filmed, the stooges would do that. And so on and so forth.

In fact, he told us, there were never any real scripts per se for these shows- the stooges would just sort of do whatever they felt like, since most of the visual gags appeared over and over again, and whatever they did pretty well worked as much as anything else they might do.

Anonymous said...

None of them are dumber than you.

Green Eagle said...

Anonymous, it's only February, and you have already awakened from your hibernation. If we needed any more proof of global warming, there it is.

Green Eagle said...

Oh, and I only live about a mile from Toluca Lake, where the three stooges lived. When I'm walking down Riverside drive in Toluca Lake, I often think that I am walking the streets where Curly walked.

Anonymous said...

Right, your heroes are the Tree Stooges? Now I know why you are so stupid.

Green Eagle said...

My hero is Buddy Guy.